#1
This is a new song that I made. This song is currently incomplete and is still under construction. I still have a lot to add to this song. Some verses are a bit long because they're meant for vocals to carry them (like most of my songs). Don't be turned off by the length of the verses. Tell me what you thing and I'll C4C.
Attachments:
The Prophetic Messenger.gp4
The Prophetic Messenger.gp5
The Prophetic Messenger.mid
Last edited by The Arsis at Jan 3, 2010,
#2
I generally don't like songs starting with vocals right away, you might want to write an intro or at least have the riff play 1 time beforehand. I donÄt really like the riff, more or less random low notes. I see what you did there rhythmically, but it didn't turn out that good. Or lets say it did in fact work but I didn't like it.
It get's better with Verse 1.5 though sicne the double bass helps understanding that riff.

Verse 2 ist just too generic, you can't cover that with drums. I guess it'll still work with vocals though. Gets more interesting later on and the transition to the verse again works well.

I like the turn around, transition is smooth and the riff is pretty heavy.

The new is a good idea, sounds good to me, nice buildup although it can (and should) be intensified.

Again, a nice buildup with the following parts, got me interested even it took its time.

The ending was my favorite part, perfect drumpattern for that. I'd scrap the last 8th note at bar 104 and continue the tromolo thing, sounds better to me. The ending in the last bar also comes a bit too sudden and too early, but I guess the song will be extended.

overall a ncie death metal piece, although it's not that special musically wise, I'd still listen and headbang to it \m/

c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1248779
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#3
Hi it's me again, beware for crit!

Verse 1: Well.. It might be nice starting riff, but not very memoreable.
Verse 1.5: Kinda same with 1, only with fast double bass.
Verse 2: Somehow reminds me of gojira. Same style. Diffrent with harmony. Pretty nice. 33- doesn't really fit.
Turn around: Nice bassline, very awesome part for headbanging.
New verse 1: Using octave higher guitar isn't bad idea really, but it's very hard to judge without vocals. But as instrumental it's not bad idea.
Bridge: Boring bridge.. Nothing else I can say about it. Harmony still fits in it.
Outro: It's somehow odd. Really a suprise.

Nice moshpit song really. Pretty generic stuff..
#4
Crit as I listen:

The first verse is a good riff and the second part of the verse works well with the change in drums. Verse 2 really drags on. I think you should bring in the harmony right away to at least make it interesting and cut it down a bit. Bring in the strings earlier too and add more to the voicings to make it sound fuller.

Verse 3 is also kinda dull. Maybe putting a lead part over it may add more to the part. The return to the Verse 1 variation was a good idea. Very well placed. The turnaround was also very good. Turn the bass up though because it's really hard to hear.

Much more can be done with the bridge. I think a lead part or an extra melody will be perfect somewhere here. What you have here just drags on and on and I'm wondering when it's going to end. I'd rather wonder what could come next.

The Outro was okay. The rhythm was somewhat awkward. I think if you touch it up, it'll be fine.

Overall, a 6/10. It needs a lot of work, but I think you can fix it.
C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=22675913#post22675913
#5
First off, nice to see your still influenced by Gojira

Now for the actual crit..

I like the fact you started with the verse, though the vocals need to fit well enough to make it work perfectly, also I like the drums.
I also like the transition to 32th notes on the bassdrums in Verse 1.5
The same drums as Verse 1 but with other riffs on the guitar works well in Verse 2, added Keys help fill it up at bar 25.
Adding Verse 3 and another Verse 1.5 might be a bit much, though I think it could be pulled off with the right vocals (and changes in vocals in every verse).
Really like the bassline in Turn-around.
Verse 1 sounds cool, reminds me of another song (forgot the name here for a moment though).
Bridge sounds good, though I think it would be something that fits better when you're coming out of a clean part or something, so you would slow the song down with some clean parts, and then come back with the Bridge.
The change to the 32th note pattern fits well.
From bar 101 - 104 the harmonizing done with the Right guitar (third track) doesn't feel right, needs some other notes I think.
The Surprise Outro/Break sounds cool, though the quarter note rest seem just a bit too long, it kinda throws you off the rhythm constantly, needs a timing of notes that's just a bit different, not sure what timing though at the moment.

Really nice song yet again, though it needs something more added to it, so maybe a clean section before the bridge at bar 73 or something like that, so you can give the feeling of building up towards a climax with all the verses, then just out of nowhere end that feeling of building up, and come back with the bridge, leading into the 32th note pattern and the outro.

I'll give it 8 out of 10 but it could be 8.5 or 9/10 if you manage to give it a little extra
#7
ok, theres not much to say about this right now but heres my opinion:

everything up until the bridge is basically just a slightly modified version of verse 1. Verse 1 is good, but not memorable, and the measures of straight 16ths detract from its appeal. Also I don't know why but theres like 8 verses in a row. you should throw in some breaks or chord progressions or hell even a chorus in to mix things up. The bridge is also uninteresting, but makes good use of some chords in there which sound nice.

the straight picking sections get boring really quickly imo. The suprise break is a bit of a suprise and sound good, as well as serving to pick up the pace of the song a bit. the outro is a bit slow, but i like the note choices.

2/10. I think this song needs some major work. the first verse is basically the entire song. Throw in some different sounding sections and a CHORUS or two. also try and cut back on the repetition of melodies and rhythms, maybe switch some things up a bit. didn't sound very memorable to me and there was no "hook" or riff that caught my attention

c4c?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1243743
Kurzweil K2500xs