#1
I did both of these a while ago but I figured it'd be nice to get some feedback. They're both untitled so I've just numbered them.

rock 123
This is the less thrashy one. It's less technical than 98 but I like the overall sound of this one better. I'm still unsure of a few bits though.

rock 98v5
There's some transitions to sections I'm really not sure of, and I dunno about the solo, and I've got another version of the chorus coz I'm not sure if I like this one. I did plan on having some vocals on top of this eventually.
Attachments:
rock 123.gp5
rock 98 v5.gp5
#3
Critting 98.
I'm not gonna get to detailed as my piece was really short and unfinished that you critted, and I'm supposed to be doing school work. Haha.

I can honestly say though, that this one of the best metalcore (embrace the genre or not, that's what it is to me) I've seen put up on UG. I think you should extend the "bridge - solo." I was really liking the more traditional style (as in not sweeping and not entirely 16th notes) of soloing on top of a metalcore song. Favorite parts were probably choruses. Nothing I really don't like, I just think longer solo.
#4
thanks for the crit on my song

i like these riffs a lot, especially the harmonizing parts. it flows really well. wish i could write songs this well! you crazy mang
the interlude of 98 is bad ass.
overall id give 98 a 9-9.5 out of 10. and im picky. probly one of the bet songs ive seen here
#5
Rock 98v

Alright so right off the bat I can tell you know what you're doing. I'm going to be completely honest though you're right when you question the quality of your transitions.

My main problem with the song is that it just all blends together and makes it kind of hard to get through. Now your riffs are good, like I said I can tell you know what you're doing. You're experienced. But it's just the repeativeness or kind of "False" repeativeness I get when listening because it's, like I said earlier, like it all blends together

Now don't take my post the wrong way, this definitely has potential but I'm not going to give you a rating because it needs a lot of work. Once you get some good transtions and some spice it will be great. Here's a few things you can try

1. Make a slower heavier riff, if you want to play Thrash then you should pick up a little influence from Testament. A lot of their songs have a nice, slow, kickass headbanging riff that really just gives the whole song a HUGE boost. Make sure it only comes once or twice, any more and it will lose the flair a little bit.

2. Mix up your harmonies, I say this to a lot of people. Instead of the whole riff being harmonized, try making some notes with harmony, some without. Experiment, it's really a good thing to have up your sleeve for when you get writer's block.

3. Sudden stops/rests in the song of every instrument can be intense.

4. Also for thrash, it's almost certain you need some sort of powerchord riffage (not true but I like to think so, it also shows in most of the big thrash bands) =]. I wouldn't call this thrash though. This kinda sounds like a progressive melodic type.

So take those into consideration, and if you want you can crit mine. You didn't say C4C so you don't have to but I wanted to help out a fellow thrasher.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1245996

My song is Thrash with a heavy Kreator influence. (Kreator uses some metalcore techniques, but since they were practically before the genre I don't count it as such)

**Don't think you have to give such a detailed response. This is something I wanted to make sure you can apply to the song!
Last edited by Ze_Metal at Dec 22, 2009,
#6
Thanks for all the comments guys.

Ze Metal:
Yeah I know I just had like all the riffs but didn't really know how to put them together. I kinda just left it after I got to the end but now I realise people like it I think I'll work on it again.
Hah I didn't really know what genre to put it in. I'm really not all that technical or have much knowledge at all in music really. I didn't decide from the start for it to be thrash, I just called it thrash when I posted it. It's more metalcore or melodic really.
I think I'll try and stick in a nice heavy breakdown. But I would've thought I did actually vary the harmonies quite a bit. I don't think it's that obvious but like in the intro riff I only harmonised parts of it. And then on the outro, I used different intervals for the harmony. I guess it just wasn't that clear.

If I post another up, care to take a look at it as well?
#7
Rock 123:

I like the technical riffs in here. You did a good job with that, but the technicality is slightly over the top in my opinion. Only parts of the verse seemed to get something stirring up inside (as in "head banging" ).

You did a good job on the transitions, but the tapping transition on bar 25 just doesn't seem to stick out in the song enough. And then there's the bend transition at bar 32. It sounds good, yes... but it just doesn't sound right. I don't know why, maybe it's because it's 2 AM... I can't tell you. All the riffs in the Pre-Chorus are amazing, honestly. However, the transition from bar 40 - 41 didn't seem to quite fit so well together. My guess is because the riff at bar 41 sounds slightly dull. If you simply move the 5's and the 7's and 8 up one string and change them to 0's, 2's and 3's then it sounds less flat and the transition works better (I actually changed it in GP5 and found it sounded better). It will be harder to play but the notes cut through better. But still, amazing riffs.

The rhythm guitar I don't like so much on the 1st bridge... It doesn't sound right. Sounds kind of off when I hear it. I think something a little more meatier needs to be thrown in there to spice up the simple beat and single-noted rhythm. Both of the interlude's are great.. nothing needs to be changed there. The solo is actually really good, it's just a little too short. It sounds like it ended before it was quite able to hit its climax.

The bass is good quality, once again. It doesn't let the song go flat and it keeps it in rhythm. My only question is do you know somebody who can actually play parts of it? Lol.

Wonderful song, by the way. Once again you've left me speechless (more like in awe because I just typed over 100 words) but you did a great job. I enjoyed the song very much, would like to hear a professional recording of a real band playing it someday.

Overall, I give it a 5 / 5. I know I pointed out some problems but those are mostly minute things that don't neccessarily make too much of a difference. Good job bro.

C4C again? Lol. https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1276451
There will be zero tolerance
For the creator of hallowed intentions
There will be zero tolerance
Fate is your deciding God
Last edited by DragTheWaters11 at Feb 21, 2010,