So...It's been a really long time since I've last posted. After about 4 months of writers block, I've finally completed the next installment to the concept album I've been working on.

Here I'm posting the newest song and the two that came before it since I didn't get many replies on those. Please feel free to be as harsh as you want. Brutal honesty is the best honesty.

C4C as always. The more you write, the more I write back.
Concept song 5.zip
Concept song 6.zip
Concept song 7.zip
wow I just made it through song 5,6, & 7 and i'm really impressed. The only thing i could even suggest so far (despite my love for longer songs as a fellow prog metal head) is to condense the songs to be shorter IF and only if you don't have a singer. In my experience a singer is almost necessary to keep the average listener listening sadly since they probably wouldn't fully appreciate the music... I do though so smeh

The only changes I would honestly make would be to not use as many piano/keyboard leads and just have the guitar or even bass do those parts (not a huge keyboard fan except for small leads ). Also I would "darken" the riff work most likely based on what vocalist i would probably get stuck working with, however I wouldn't change much to darken the riffs a tad, and i really think this would only work at certain points in the music that would have to be at your discretion.

This seems borderline perfect, I know that is really not what i like to hear when i ask for crit, but i really can't find any serious flaw... so if this was actually recorded with real instruments in a decent quality studio, I would probably by two or three of the cd's just because... Good Job bro
Hey champ - I sent you a PM with this crit (I had to re-activate my account here to reply in threads, d'oh! ) , but being a rush, some things probably didn't get communicated as effectively as they could have, so I decided it would be best to repost here.

Right off the bat, brilliant phrasing, accenting, and melodies in the 5/4 time signature; which really is a difficult one to get working without it having that ''unfinished'' quality. Nothing at all seems forced, and it flows absolutely brilliantly - and to be honest, the phrasing reminds me a bit of Fives by Guthrie Govan
The strings compliment this section nicely, and the transition into the next section is great. I love the polyphony happening between guitars and piano. The variation with octaves underlying the initial melodies spices up the harmony just that little bit, and the subtle key change to lead into the next part - awesome! I'm a huge fan of using sub-modulation like that.

Like the 5/4 before, the odd meters here flow flawlessly, and I really am glad you carried on with a jazzy sound - with the extended chords and counter melodies - hinted by the sob-modulation in the bar before. Nice work!

Clever revisitation of themes at bar 49 - and a killer groove to follow; again, I love the piano here. The keyboard solo is very akin to Ruddess, and even that underlying groove hints at Fatal Tragedy, or even Frank Zappa.

The guitar solo, as with all the others I've seen posted by you, is phrased ridiculously well, particularly considering it's over a 7/8 progression. I really like how the individual phrases are tied together in such a way that the accents implied aren't always on a strong count, but on weaker, syncopated counts to carry on the flow - I'm definitely going to start using idea like this!

Loving the extended chords in the next verse - very melodic, and the voicings suit brilliantly. The 6/8 bar fits in perfectly, and the transition into the 7/8 theme is great; and again, I really love the fact that the guitar lines are not linear in harmony; it makes everything sound so much more melodically interesting, especially seeing as the melody remainds static over the changing chords. And the clean variation is a great ending, and opportunity for the bass to shine with those harmonics.
As a side note, the new-age synth in the last verse is great - very clever use of rhythmic displacement.

Overall, I really enjoyed the post-hardcore esque sound you had going for the most part with this, as well as the subtle tributes to jazz fusion. The phrasing of the drums is well-done throughout, and everything flows seamlessly. To top it off, there's enough variation to keep things interesting, while the themes still have time to develop and breathe.

I really don't have anything negative to say, as out of the three (I'll get around to the other two soon) this one came off as, to me, the most effectively composed. If you'd like me to go into more detail on anything, please don't hesitate to ask - I'd be more than happy to help if I can.

I saw that you posted in my thread before I even sent my PM, so cheers, and thanks for the feedback!

Last edited by juckfush at Dec 22, 2009,
Since I am not yet familiar/haven't really been following the concept album, I think I'm just gonna crit #7 right now. Maybe I'll come back to the others later.

Anyway. Critting as I listen [bear in mind, this is not really a style I like much. Aside from Anubis Gate, I don't like much prog].

The bass beginning is brilliant. I LOVE the harmonics. And I really like when the other instruments come in and the bass changes; the drums rolls are really nice there.

The first riff is excellent as well. I dont really know what it sounds like, it's just excellent. And when the subtle piano comes in... brilliant. I wasn't too thrilled with the next riff... until the stop-starty chords came about. That kind of hooked me. And the riff didn't get repeated much either.

The clean verse/bridge is really, really good too. The atmosphere in this song is just staggering. Love the sliding octave chords. The odd time sigs don't even sound that weird. I also LOVE the subtle piano going on throughout the song.

And the distorted part of the bridge is bloody brilliant. Could listen to that part for ages. Verse 2 is also a damn good riff. I think it would do well to quiet the piano there though; it kind of overpowers the guitars in the beginning at least. But that isn't a big deal at all. The bridge after more than makes up for it.

I'm not really a huge fan of the mood/atmosphere change in the solo.... I think it needs some synth in the background maybe. Something to keep the atmosphere going, if not necessarily the mood. I really like how you went back to the clean bridge though. That flowed really nicely. And the calm section was top notch. The part starting at 122 is especially good.

Bit starting at 130 is brilliant. Simple as that. The keyboard solo is also extremely well executed. I was worried it'd be sawtooth or something... lame like that, but it wasn't, and it was excellent. Dark section also surprisingly flowed after that. It was nice. Not particularly fantastic, but nice.

I wasn't really a fan of the Pre-verse or 3/4 verse though. It reminded me of when Pain of Salvation tries too hard to be heavy or dark [never a good thing], and I just wasn't all that fond of it. Partly because I dont think it's necessary to have the keys layered on top of the already thick guitars. The sound gets quite muddy, which may just be a GP thing.

The guitar solo at the end though, gets back to the brilliance of earlier.

So yeah. A quite good song, until the parts after the dark section. At that point, I think I found myself losing interest a bit. Possibly needs less repeats in some of those sections, I dunno. I wish I could be more help with those parts, but I'm a bit out of my territory here.

To me though, I think it almost was like two songs. The Dark last third [except for the solo], and the more melodic, huge atmosphere of the first 2/3rds or so.
Thanks a lot guys I'm glad you liked the songs.
@firebird: I'm definitely going to have vocals on all the songs. If you look at the other songs I've posted for the album, they all have vocal melodies set. I just haven't written them for these three yet, but I do have an idea for what they'll sound like.

@juckfush: I always love when you critique my songs because you always manage to point out things that were furthest from my mind when I was writing the piece, especially that phrasing idea. The 5/4 idea is actually a reference back to the piano interlude I posted a long time ago, Concept Song 3. I do agree that it does remind me of Fives too.

@Burning_Angel: I actually divided the song into three different parts, the divisions being at the calm instrumental section and then the darker section, with the reference to the calm section at the end with the solo. The Dark Section is more inspired by Opeth really. I do agree that it becomes a little dull but that will be fixed with vocals.
Hey man, thanks for your crit. I don't have that much time right now, thats why i'm critting only the last piece. I might come back to crit the other songs if I have some more time after christmas.

First off, I'm not into that kind of music, so I'm not really sure whats intended and whats not. I'm just going to tell you what I like and what not.

Intro: The Intro is pretty cool, maybe a bit fast for my taste. Get's way better once the drums and the strings come in. Bar 16 sounds good, the only thing I could complain about are the drums. The chinese sounds strange after a while and all in all the drums are not cutting through. But thats maybe just because I'm used to drums as the backbone for my songs.
Bar 31 sounds weird the first times, but after you get used to it, it sounds awesome.

Verse1: The verse is full of energy and at the same time very calm. There is nothing to say about this but: Well done, amazing.

Bridge: Same thing as the verse.

Verse 2: I like how the songs gets faster. Good transition into the next part.

Bridge to...: The guitar and the Bass sound great together, but the drums are getting boring and repetitive. And this goes on until Bar 102. Everything is great except the drums. On from 102 everything really sounds great. Until now the best part of the song.

Bridge and Calm section: The transition to the calm part is good. The calm part on itself sounds just like the things you heard before, there is nothing really new. I guess vocals will fix this problem. The transition to the Keyboard solo is awesome again.

Keyboard Solo: Sounds good. Nothing to complain about.

Dark section: The drums are to fast. You may should hit the cymbal on every 4th instead of the 8th. The other things sound good. The drums get better from bar 164 on, but they still sound strange to me.

Pre verse and Verse3/4: The riffs are amazing, but the drums... I dunno, i just don't like them.

Bridge: Sounds okay, nothing new here.

Break: I like this really. Sounds good to me.

Solo: This sounds awesome. Perfect speed, perfect soloing, perfect ending.

Overall the Song is pretty cool, the only real complaint are the drums at some points. But then again this could just be me, Gp5, or the music you were writing.

Btw, I finished my song, so if you still want to hear how it finishes... feel free to give me another crit
Ibanez SZ320 -> Höfner Analouge Delay -> MXR GT-OD -> Laney GH50L -> T.C.Electronics GMajor -> Line6 4x12 w/ Celestion G12T-75

My Lyrics and Poems

"with golden hair and perfect eyes,

with hollow words and empty lies."