#2
BTW This is death vocals so please non of this dont make it a deathcore song like you did my last song nonsense
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Last edited by Drapte at Dec 22, 2009,
#3
very decent riffs in my opinion, will sound awesome in a recording. only thing that needs work is the solo and the outro, the rest is fine.
so on one hand teh riff starting at bar 80 fits to he previous riff in terms of stransition and chord change, but it's too weak to let it continue until the end. I'd end the song with another heavy riff, maybe a buildup from bar 80 on.

now on to teh solo, it's just horrible. first 4 bars are completely out of key and jsut sound horrible. I donÄt know if you wanted it to sound completely random, but as it is now, it sounds completely shit.
The following 5 bars of the solo seem to be directly copied from an exercise book or something. "hey look at me, I can tremolo pick and sweep chord shapes"
I mean if you want to record this song, you could at least come up with a half decent solo.
also, in my opinion it's more difficult to include sweeps ending on the lowest note in solos or even use them at the end of the solo.
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#4
Quote by thorbor
very decent riffs in my opinion, will sound awesome in a recording. only thing that needs work is the solo and the outro, the rest is fine.
so on one hand teh riff starting at bar 80 fits to he previous riff in terms of stransition and chord change, but it's too weak to let it continue until the end. I'd end the song with another heavy riff, maybe a buildup from bar 80 on.

now on to teh solo, it's just horrible. first 4 bars are completely out of key and jsut sound horrible. I donÄt know if you wanted it to sound completely random, but as it is now, it sounds completely shit.
The following 5 bars of the solo seem to be directly copied from an exercise book or something. "hey look at me, I can tremolo pick and sweep chord shapes"
I mean if you want to record this song, you could at least come up with a half decent solo.
also, in my opinion it's more difficult to include sweeps ending on the lowest note in solos or even use them at the end of the solo.


Thanks, yer dude the solo is horrid lol i know but its more of a Ill stick a solo here than this is the solo, but ill try write something else real quick
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#5
Sounds fun but it sounds pretty generic. Sounds like Parkway Drive really. I like the riff starting at bar 26, that's quite different. I like the second bit of the breakdown at bar 64 even though it's a bit generic. I think you can cut out the last 4 bars to that bit. Sorry I'm not really liking the next riff either, it just sounds like it's been done before. The solo's pretty poor as well, just doesn't flow very well. It ends a bit weakly too. Sorry I'm not trying to sound like a dick but it's just my opinion. I do like the overall sound of it, it's just too generic.

You think you could check out some of my stuff? It's kinda similar to this.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1248888