#1
hey,
this riff was an experiment i did to try to branch out of my usual 4/4, 7/8 or 9/8 time sigs, and also to see how many different instruments i can fit into a song (first time ever using a violin)
not my usual style but it was fun.
please crit and tell me what i could do to help me add more layers to my songs.
and keep in mind that this is just something i did because i had to much spare time and wanted to try something new.
Attachments:
layerd.gp5
layerdgp4.gp4
layerdmidi.mid
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Viscara (my band)
Last edited by Mr.Cuddles at Dec 22, 2009,
#2
Sorry But that was reppetitive and annoying, like country music and rap. Mix em together and you got crap. An you dont want that do you? Well Do You? Fine. Hold out your hands. I feel one coming out.
#3
I like country music.
EDIT: and to make sure that it's clear, this isn't like my normal writing, I just felt like writing something different.
Quote by Eliyahu
Mr.Cuddles killed The Metal!!!! FUCK YES!

Quote by TheReverend724
Mr Cuddles pretty much nailed it...

Quote by thanksgiving

"Oh Mr.Cuddles, you make my pants go boom boom. I are horny. Do not disappoint I"


Viscara (my band)
Last edited by Mr.Cuddles at Dec 22, 2009,
#4
Quote by YesterdaysToday
Sorry But that was reppetitive and annoying, like country music and rap. Mix em together and you got crap. An you dont want that do you? Well Do You? Fine. Hold out your hands. I feel one coming out.

Wow, no need to be a major jerk. And if you're going to take the time to post in somebody's thread, at least offer something constructive rather than some crap of your own. kthxbai.

To the thread starter, kudos on branching out and attempting something new, but there is some uncomfortable dissonance and clashing notes throughout. The main problem is the F major chord at the end of every four-bar ostinato - it clashes with the melodic idea and there's no leading tone to pass into the next cycle. The chromaticism of the progression is fine, but changing the chord to a different voicing with a leading tone (in this case, the higher C# to lower F# of the next bar - a fourth interval, which works nicely), smooths things out. The substituted part would be this:

  E  E  E  E  E  E     E  E  E  E  E  E     
--------------------|--------------------|
--------------------|-----------7--------|
--------4--------6--|--------6-----6-----|
-----6--------6-----|-----8-----------8--|
--7--------8-----8--|--9-----------------|
--------------------|--------------------|


The higher note naturally leans towards the low F# of the next bar, and the bass note that accompanies it reinforces the chromaticism, and makes things join together more effectively.

Onto the variations; I can see what you're trying to do, but harmonically there isnt much variation to keep things moving forward, particularly for a piece reliant on progression and layers to function.
It's great that you picked some instruments with different tonal qualities and their own unique sound, but by having everything in unison (that is in this case, all droning on the root note and fifth) doesn't add too much sonically, and the sounds tend to mesh together.

I really would recommend working on creating some counter melodies and other melodic ideas (as you did with the nylon acoustic, which with its contrasting rhythmic feel, added on more than any of the other instruments), as well as expanding by introducing new rhythms, sequences, and expressive techniques.
- On that note, keep in mind that progression in a piece isn't all about layering, but re-using a melodic or rhythmic idea with subtle changes - the nylon string's part, for example, works fine with the progression you've put in, so you could use it as a separate section with other instruments performing complimenting melodies to suit the new feel/genre of the theme/variation.

Back onto variations of a theme though, two main concepts are contrasting and complimenting ideas. A form of contrasting idea could be two guitars playing the same chords, but in different sequences, or including different rhythmic nuisances - there is a similar idea, but within a different framework. Alternatively, you could have completely different melodies - polyphony - overlapping, and so long as they're arranged well and no unwanted dissonance shows up, you can get some wacky non-linear harmonies and interesting accents, even.
The idea of complimenting comes from instruments interacting in a way so that key ideas are accented or reinforced - such as having the piano play single notes (the guitar's chord's third, for example), crotchet length, to rhythmically and harmonically support the guitar theme.
Finally, another thing is tension and release - you can build layers, but building for an entire song can get dull within itself. Omitting instruments entirely, replacing them with others, or dropping out entirely can really bring something new to a piece of music.

My explanation's probably a bit dull, unimaginative and clumsy, but hopefully it can get a basic idea across. Theme and variation can be a great thing, but how the instruments intertwine and develop has to really be thought out and considered, so that ideas can be made clearer and operate more competently.

To be honest, I really rushed through this crit, so if there's anything you'd like me to be more specific with, please don't hesitate to ask. I'll be checking back in this thread every now and then to update my post and check for updates anyway.



Alex

EDIT: Fixed up and added a few things in my post; hopefully it'll make more sense now! Like I said though, I'll be checking out the thread when I can, and I'll be sure to offer any advice I can.
If you'd like, the piece in my sig, Juggling Elephants, uses most of the ideas I mentioned above, so if you'd like to check it out to get a clearer idea or see it an action, feel free to check it out. I hope it can help out!
Last edited by juckfush at Dec 22, 2009,
#5
thanks dude, i figure this is heading for the scrap bin but im going to learn as much as i can from writing it. thanks for the very detailed crit.
Quote by Eliyahu
Mr.Cuddles killed The Metal!!!! FUCK YES!

Quote by TheReverend724
Mr Cuddles pretty much nailed it...

Quote by thanksgiving

"Oh Mr.Cuddles, you make my pants go boom boom. I are horny. Do not disappoint I"


Viscara (my band)