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#1
Some people say that if a child witnesses their parents/relatives doing something (smoking, drinking, gambling, fighting, beating the children, etc.) that the child will involuntarily and inevitably commit the same acts as an adult.


I don't believe this, personally. I saw some fucked-up shit growing up but I like to think I'll turn that around and use it as an example of what NOT to do.


So, what do you guys think? Am I gonna end up smoking meth and beating my wife or no?
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#3
I dont drink, smoke, do drugs, listen to 80's synthpop or pray to Jebus.
So no, it's bullshit.
...In my opinion.
#4
If your self-aware of this, doesn't that mean you'd be even less more likely to do so?
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#6
Not necessarily, for some people it might be. But probably not the majority.
#7
Your upbringing usually has a profound effect on your behaviour, but it's not as simple as "monkey see, monkey do".
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#8
^Ur all shit has the right of it.

It's not necessarily so simple, but the environment you grow up makes an enormous contribution to who you are. Nature vs. Nurture is tired...

But, they have a lot of evidence that if negative behavior is positively reinforced, children are likely to follow it through observational learning.
#9
well, i saw my parents having sex once so i don't think your theory holds up.
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#10
im completely opposite of my parents so no its a load of shit
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#11
All I know is that for the greater part of my life and all of my childhood, my father smoked cigarettes. I used to be so adamantly against them at a young age. But guess what? I smoke.

Your parents pass on a lot of genetic predispositions that greatly affect your behavior. Smoking/drug behavior is a big one. I never thought I would smoke pot/do any other drugs. At some point in my high school career, that changed. Now I've done a list of them. Turns out, my father did too. Albeit, I didn't see any of it as a child.

Abuse is another big one. In the developmental stages, when you see abuse you subconsciously determine it to be normal behavior. While you may disagree with for most of your life, your subconscious acceptance allows you to commit the same act, whether or not you disagree with it.

It's true for a lot of things, but not for everything. It all depends on the strength of your character, I guess.
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#12
Quote by Thebridge
All I know is that for the greater part of my life and all of my childhood, my father smoked cigarettes. I used to be so adamantly against them at a young age. But guess what? I smoke.

Your parents pass on a lot of genetic predispositions that greatly affect your behavior. Smoking/drug behavior is a big one. I never thought I would smoke pot/do any other drugs. At some point in my high school career, that changed. Now I've done a list of them. Turns out, my father did too. Albeit, I didn't see any of it as a child.

Abuse is another big one. In the developmental stages, when you see abuse you subconsciously determine it to be normal behavior. While you may disagree with for most of your life, your subconscious acceptance allows you to commit the same act, whether or not you disagree with it.

It's true for a lot of things, but not for everything. It all depends on the strength of your character, I guess.

Off topic, but I think Twilight subconsciously promotes unhealthy and abusive relationships, with Bella being obsessive and Edward being uncaring and abusive, but she excuses whatever asshole thing he does with "he did it cause he loves me", which is the same excuse some women use when they get beaten, or emotionally controlled.
Last edited by CaptinSpalldin at Dec 23, 2009,
#13
Quote by CaptinSpalldin
Off topic, but I think Twilight subconsciously promotes unhealthy and abusive relationships, with Bella being obsessive and Edward being uncaring and abusive, but she excuses whatever asshole thing he does with "he did it cause he loves me", which is the same excuse some men pull out when they beat their wives.


LOL
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#14
I think some might adopt their parents' behaviour, and some might loathe it so much that they go the exact opposite direction with their own life - perhaps in an unbalanced way, perpetuating issues on the other end of the issue's spectrum to pass it on to their children...

Vague I know but it makes sense right?
#15
Quote by dudetheman
Some people say that if a child witnesses their parents/relatives doing something (smoking, drinking, gambling, fighting, beating the children, etc.) that the child will involuntarily and inevitably commit the same acts as an adult.


I don't believe this, personally. I saw some fucked-up shit growing up but I like to think I'll turn that around and use it as an example of what NOT to do.


So, what do you guys think? Am I gonna end up smoking meth and beating my wife or no?

That's because you haven't been taping yourself sleeping at night.

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#16
not me, I don't act like my parents
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#18
My father had a pretty big problem with alcohol when he was younger.
I was heading in the excact same direction, Ended up waking up in hospital getting my stomach pumped, Woke up in lock up a few times, Got in punch ups with my mates, Then i realised what was happening and rarely drink these days, and really only get drunk on special occasions
Quote by Shea Donoghue


Then, about two minutes later of just plowing, I can feel it coming. She's still moaning and rolling back, and then I pull out. I grab her by her hair, pull her head up, and yell out:
"BOOM, HEADSHOT!"
#19
Let that gene die with you. I've seen some crazy shit as well and I only hope I don't unwittingly commit the same acts for anyone to subconsciously whatchermacallit to themselves.

I think by catching yourself during a regression is some sort of progression of some sort(or what I'd like to believe)
#20
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not me, I don't act like my parents


Just wait. It will come eventually. And it's scary when it does.
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#21
Quote by dudetheman
Some people say that if a child witnesses their parents/relatives doing something (smoking, drinking, gambling, fighting, beating the children, etc.) that the child will involuntarily and inevitably commit the same acts as an adult.


I don't believe this, personally. I saw some fucked-up shit growing up but I like to think I'll turn that around and use it as an example of what NOT to do.


So, what do you guys think? Am I gonna end up smoking meth and beating my wife or no?

My dad's a serious smoker, and used to be an alcoholic. I highly doubt myself doing either of those, as the pain he caused from the latter was almost too much at times.

Witnessing him at his lowest also made me a stronger person and only reinforces my mindset to not ever do that to my family.

That said I feel bad for bashing my dad, he kind of fucked up my childhood, and hurt my mom emotionally, but today he's an honest hard working guy and I couldn't love him more, and would be completely lost without him.


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#22
^ I have a neighbour friend who was in the same boat. He eventually started smoking and drinking, but as of him turning 20 soon, he hasn't been completely out of control.

Just sayin', even though he was most dead set against booze and smoking due to seeing his dad's behavior, things change. At least you can acknowledge the potential for shitty actions under the influence.
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#23
I don't believe that at all.

My earliest memories are of my Dad hitting my head into the wall while threatening to crucify me and I can assure you I will NOT be doing that to my children.

If anything, my parents' lack of patience has caused me to try extra hard not to lose my temper with people. So I don't think that theory works.
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#24
i noticed my dad never got laid


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#25
if you're a mature adult, or even a half functioning human being, you wont try to emulate something that harmed you, so no it's bullshit.
#26
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if you're a mature adult, or even a half functioning human being, you wont try to emulate something that harmed you, so no it's bullshit.

I dont believe that they are trying to emulate it, as much as it just happens subconsciously. Im guessing it is the same way as alot a physically abused children, especially females, end up in relationships with some who is also physically abusive.
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#27
Quote by Lt. Shinysides
if you're a mature adult, or even a half functioning human being, you wont try to emulate something that harmed you, so no it's bullshit.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory

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#29
Drinking, yes. However, I've been doing that in moderation for the last 3 months.
Gambling. A bit, I bet on the horses, once every 2 weeks maybe.
I have both under control though and my dad never did it to excess. Only difference is I am heaps more lazy.
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#30
It can cause some people to develop the same habits, but many people learn from the mistakes their parents lead, or on the reverse, do things that their parents never did.

My dad doesn't drink because he saw what it did to his father. However, all of his kids drink recreationally at least occasionally. My parents never used tobacco because they saw what it did to their families, however most of their kids smoke at least a couple times a week or more. So yes, it can be a risk factor, but no, it's not something bound to happen.
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#31
If we were to assume this is all you experienced, then maybe so. But clearly these things are largely denounced in modern society all over the place and there are countless examples of sober people, people in non-abusive relationships, non-smokers, etc. There's more to upbringing and environment than your household.
#32
It's called continuity theory within psychology, i personally don't think it's the paper it's written on either.
#33
I would've said that it can have the opposite effect. If you are aware that the things you witness are unacceptable, you will try desperately not to be that.
#34
I am in essence, a younger version of my dad.

I'm grumpy, hate everthing. I'm a tight arse. I don't really like socialising. I drink too much and I've taken a fair few drugs in my time.

But, there are things that I do, that are different. And that's what makes me an individual, and not a clone.
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#36
It depends how often I think...

My mum, dad, mum's mum, dad, and step-dad all smoke(d), and I started smoking regularly when I was 16. Said people also drink/drunk quite a lot, I've thought about it but I rather spend what would be my alcohol money on weed.

Also my father yelled at my mum a lot when they were together (luckily didn't beat her), I'd say that has influenced me to yell at times.

Edit: Also, my mum is always putting others in front of herself, serving others before she takes time off for herself. I've noticed this in me too.
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#37
Older people tell me I remind them of my dad when he was my age, but my dad denies this.

I share a lot of personal "qualities" with my dad, except they're more evident in me than they are in him. My mom says we have more in common than we think. Maybe I'll become more like him as I get older.
#38
Quote by Ur all $h1t
Your upbringing usually has a profound effect on your behaviour, but it's not as simple as "monkey see, monkey do".

I was going to say something to this effect, but why waste my time if you already did.
#39
Quote by dudetheman
Some people say that if a child witnesses their parents/relatives doing something (smoking, drinking, gambling, fighting, beating the children, etc.) that the child will involuntarily and inevitably commit the same acts as an adult.
The child will commit the same acts later? No.
The child has a bigger likelihood of commiting the same acts later? Yes.

Well, either that, or a much smaller likelihood, due to trauma for instance. Anyway, the child will not be unaffected.
#40
Quote by Ur all $h1t
Your upbringing usually has a profound effect on your behaviour, but it's not as simple as "monkey see, monkey do".


Yep.
I mean, I watched Pulp Fiction when I was 4, and I have yet to rape a fat black man while wearing a gimp mask.
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