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#1
Every time you see a thread about quotes, it's about movies... so this one is about TV quotes!

Remember, no cheating as it takes the fun out of it and try and take important names/words out in case you do something obvious by mistake :

Person 1: "Pin the Tail on the Donkey"?
Person 2 (and so on) We haven't got a donkey.
Well, "Pin the Tail on the Chicken"
We haven't got a tail.
Oh. Well, "Pin the Sausage on the Chicken"?
We haven't got a chicken.
(Annoyed) Well, "Pin the Sausage on the Fridge".
Or a pin.
(Angrier) "Sellotape a Sausage to the Fridge"!
We haven't got a sausage!
(shouting) "Put a Bit of Sellotape on the Fridge"!
(Beat) It's not much of a game, is it?
This will start a RIOT! in me
#6
Younger Herr: May we have two eggs mayonnaises, please?
[Basil]: Certainly! Why not, why not indeed? We are all friends now, eh?
Elder Herr: A prawn cocktail.
Basil: All in the Market together, old differences forgotten, and no need at all to mention the war … SORRY! Sorry. What was it again?
Elder Herr: A prawn cocktail.
Basil: Oh, prawn! That was it! When you said "prawn", I thought you said "war". Oh, y— Oh, the war! Oh, yes, completely slipped my mind! Yes, I'd forgotten all about it. Hitler, Himmler, and all that lot… Oh, yes, completely forgotten it, just like that.
[He looks around for a moment in confusion.]
Basil: Sorry. What was it again?
Elder Herr: A prawn cocktail!
Basil: Oh, yes, Eva Prawn. Yes, of course. And Goebbels too, he's another one I can hardly remember at all.
Younger Herr: And ein pickled herring!
Basil: Hermann Goering, yes, yes, and, uh, von Ribbentrop, that was another one.
Elder Herr: And four cold meat salads, please.
Basil: Certainly. Well, I'll just get your hors d'oeuvres… hors d'oeuvres vich must be obeyed at all times vithout qvestion! Sorry! Sorry!
[Polly enters the dining room.]
Polly: Mr Fawlty, will you please call your wife immediately?
[Basil looks around frantically.]
Basil: Sybil? Sybi— She's in the hospital, you silly girl!
Polly: Yes, call her there!
Basil: I can't! I've got too much to do. '[whispering loudly] Listen, don't mention the war! I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it alright.
[Basil returns to the Germans.]
Basil: So! It's all forgotten now, and let's hear no more about it. So, that's two egg mayonnaise, a prawn Goebbels, a Hermann Goering, and four Colditz salads.
[The younger Frau is sobbing openly now, consoled by the elder Herr.]
Basil: Now, wait a minute. Well, I got a bit confused here. Sorry! I got a bit confused, 'cause everyone keeps mention the war. So, could you— what's the matter?
Elder Herr: It's all right.
Basil: Is there something wrong?
Elder Herr: Will you stop talking about the war?!
Basil: ME?! You started it!
Elder Herr: We did not start it!
Basil: Yes you did — you invaded Poland!
#7
Quote by Paramore.
Person 1: "Pin the Tail on the Donkey"?
Person 2 (and so on) We haven't got a donkey.
Well, "Pin the Tail on the Chicken"
We haven't got a tail.
Oh. Well, "Pin the Sausage on the Chicken"?
We haven't got a chicken.
(Annoyed) Well, "Pin the Sausage on the Fridge".
Or a pin.
(Angrier) "Sellotape a Sausage to the Fridge"!
We haven't got a sausage!
(shouting) "Put a Bit of Sellotape on the Fridge"!
(Beat) It's not much of a game, is it?

Could someone please tell me the source of this quote, so I know never to watch it.
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#8
Quote by ctb
Younger Herr: May we have two eggs mayonnaises, please?
[Basil]: Certainly! Why not, why not indeed? We are all friends now, eh?
Elder Herr: A prawn cocktail.
Basil: All in the Market together, old differences forgotten, and no need at all to mention the war … SORRY! Sorry. What was it again?
Elder Herr: A prawn cocktail.
Basil: Oh, prawn! That was it! When you said "prawn", I thought you said "war". Oh, y— Oh, the war! Oh, yes, completely slipped my mind! Yes, I'd forgotten all about it. Hitler, Himmler, and all that lot… Oh, yes, completely forgotten it, just like that.
[He looks around for a moment in confusion.]
Basil: Sorry. What was it again?
Elder Herr: A prawn cocktail!
Basil: Oh, yes, Eva Prawn. Yes, of course. And Goebbels too, he's another one I can hardly remember at all.
Younger Herr: And ein pickled herring!
Basil: Hermann Goering, yes, yes, and, uh, von Ribbentrop, that was another one.
Elder Herr: And four cold meat salads, please.
Basil: Certainly. Well, I'll just get your hors d'oeuvres… hors d'oeuvres vich must be obeyed at all times vithout qvestion! Sorry! Sorry!
[Polly enters the dining room.]
Polly: Mr Fawlty, will you please call your wife immediately?
[Basil looks around frantically.]
Basil: Sybil? Sybi— She's in the hospital, you silly girl!
Polly: Yes, call her there!
Basil: I can't! I've got too much to do. '[whispering loudly] Listen, don't mention the war! I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it alright.
[Basil returns to the Germans.]
Basil: So! It's all forgotten now, and let's hear no more about it. So, that's two egg mayonnaise, a prawn Goebbels, a Hermann Goering, and four Colditz salads.
[The younger Frau is sobbing openly now, consoled by the elder Herr.]
Basil: Now, wait a minute. Well, I got a bit confused here. Sorry! I got a bit confused, 'cause everyone keeps mention the war. So, could you— what's the matter?
Elder Herr: It's all right.
Basil: Is there something wrong?
Elder Herr: Will you stop talking about the war?!
Basil: ME?! You started it!
Elder Herr: We did not start it!
Basil: Yes you did — you invaded Poland!


Fawlty Towers, and a great scene i must add
Guitars:
Jackson JS30KE Kelly
Jackson RRX10D
Fender Telecaster American Standard
Epiphone Acoustic
Amps:
Vox DA15
Marshall G80RCD
Pedals:
Boss GT-6
Boss MT-2
#9
Mine was actually an awesome comedy... it was Bottom lol.
This will start a RIOT! in me
#10
Quote by ctb
Younger Herr: May we have two eggs mayonnaises, please?
[Basil]: Certainly! Why not, why not indeed? We are all friends now, eh?
Elder Herr: A prawn cocktail.
Basil: All in the Market together, old differences forgotten, and no need at all to mention the war … SORRY! Sorry. What was it again?
Elder Herr: A prawn cocktail.
Basil: Oh, prawn! That was it! When you said "prawn", I thought you said "war". Oh, y— Oh, the war! Oh, yes, completely slipped my mind! Yes, I'd forgotten all about it. Hitler, Himmler, and all that lot… Oh, yes, completely forgotten it, just like that.
[He looks around for a moment in confusion.]
Basil: Sorry. What was it again?
Elder Herr: A prawn cocktail!
Basil: Oh, yes, Eva Prawn. Yes, of course. And Goebbels too, he's another one I can hardly remember at all.
Younger Herr: And ein pickled herring!
Basil: Hermann Goering, yes, yes, and, uh, von Ribbentrop, that was another one.
Elder Herr: And four cold meat salads, please.
Basil: Certainly. Well, I'll just get your hors d'oeuvres… hors d'oeuvres vich must be obeyed at all times vithout qvestion! Sorry! Sorry!
[Polly enters the dining room.]
Polly: Mr Fawlty, will you please call your wife immediately?
[Basil looks around frantically.]
Basil: Sybil? Sybi— She's in the hospital, you silly girl!
Polly: Yes, call her there!
Basil: I can't! I've got too much to do. '[whispering loudly] Listen, don't mention the war! I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it alright.
[Basil returns to the Germans.]
Basil: So! It's all forgotten now, and let's hear no more about it. So, that's two egg mayonnaise, a prawn Goebbels, a Hermann Goering, and four Colditz salads.
[The younger Frau is sobbing openly now, consoled by the elder Herr.]
Basil: Now, wait a minute. Well, I got a bit confused here. Sorry! I got a bit confused, 'cause everyone keeps mention the war. So, could you— what's the matter?
Elder Herr: It's all right.
Basil: Is there something wrong?
Elder Herr: Will you stop talking about the war?!
Basil: ME?! You started it!
Elder Herr: We did not start it!
Basil: Yes you did — you invaded Poland!


I don't know any TV Shows where the main character is called Basil Fawlty...
YNWA
#11
Quote by Paramore.
Every time you see a thread about quotes, it's about movies... so this one is about TV quotes!

Remember, no cheating as it takes the fun out of it and try and take important names/words out in case you do something obvious by mistake :

Person 1: "Pin the Tail on the Donkey"?
Person 2 (and so on) We haven't got a donkey.
Well, "Pin the Tail on the Chicken"
We haven't got a tail.
Oh. Well, "Pin the Sausage on the Chicken"?
We haven't got a chicken.
(Annoyed) Well, "Pin the Sausage on the Fridge".
Or a pin.
(Angrier) "Sellotape a Sausage to the Fridge"!
We haven't got a sausage!
(shouting) "Put a Bit of Sellotape on the Fridge"!
(Beat) It's not much of a game, is it?


Bottom, hillarious
#15
Quote by MightyAl
Knife wrench. Practical and safe!

Scrubs?

"Shower shorts; For the man who has nothing to hide. But still wants to."
YNWA
#16
'If nothing else works, a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through
#17
NO SOUP FOR YOU.



████████████
████████████








RBY CYOA
#18
Quote by MightyAl
'If nothing else works, a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through


Blackadder. But which one? I can't remember.
YNWA
#19
"Okay, Lindsey. Are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over? An analyst and a therapist-- the world's first 'analrapist.'"

"I was hoping he would be gifted sexually."

"I just haven't had sex in a month"
"You know, you've been here [prison] two months.""
"Oh, it's just so hard to gauge time..."
"Yeah, I'll bet.""

"I care deeply for nature."
"You're wearing ostrich skin boots."
"Well, I don't care for ostriches."

"I hear the jury's still out on science..."
#21
Quote by Paramore.
Mine was actually an awesome comedy... it was Bottom lol.


Dammit, if id been hear quicker i would have got that one!
Went to see Bottom Live a few years ago, it was amazing!

anyway, a quote that really wont make sense if you dont know what its from:

"There was a little man....
....a little man in his hair...
.....There was a little man in his hair and i got distracted"
RIP Turnip. RIP MCA.
RIP #58.
#23
*two people are trying to lift a desk*
person watching:"you guys should use a hand truck"
person lifting:"do we have a hand truck?"
person watching:"no"
Emerse your soul in love


You used to be alright What happened?


Yellow tigers crouched in jungles in her Dark Eyes .
#25
Quote by boxcarguy07
"You know who can handle this? Future Ted and Future Marshall."

How I Met Your Mother...obviously.
Please excuse my godawful username. I was thirteen.
#26
"I'm not superstitious, but I'm alittle stitious..."
If it were socially acceptable, I would drape myself in velvet.

Quote by Bassist1992
When I was 11.

Googled "I would like to watch some porn please"



Quote by daytripper75
I;m rdruk I feel no pain

#27
Quote by LuckyBoys91
"I'm not superstitious, but I'm alittle stitious..."

The Office!

"Do you wanna get a beer tonight?"
"Do chickens wish they could fly?"
"I have no idea"
"I'd like to think they do"
"So do I"
all I ever wanted was to pick apart the day
put the pieces back together my way
#28
Quote by iforgot120
"Okay, Lindsey. Are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over? An analyst and a therapist-- the world's first 'analrapist.'"

"I was hoping he would be gifted sexually."

"I just haven't had sex in a month"
"You know, you've been here [prison] two months.""
"Oh, it's just so hard to gauge time..."
"Yeah, I'll bet.""

"I care deeply for nature."
"You're wearing ostrich skin boots."
"Well, I don't care for ostriches."

"I hear the jury's still out on science..."


so much Arrested Development win that my head nearly exploded
#29
Quote by mattman93

"Do you wanna get a beer tonight?"
"Do chickens wish they could fly?"
"I have no idea"
"I'd like to think they do"
"So do I"


Scrubs!
Quote by EchoxOath
SG has officially won this thread.
Quote by RazorTheAwesome
there are no words to describe how truly epic this is.


Quote by SGstriker
I think you win the award for the coolest member of '08
#30
"Uh.. that's a dildo. A strap on dildo."

"Ah, screw you all off, my codpiece is the coolest!"

R.I.P. Ronnie James Dio. Supplied amazing music to both me and my mother.

He will be missed.
#31
Vince: I've invented a new game. It's called "Pelt the Rabbit in His Big White Face". Yeah, I know, the title alone is pretty cool, but what you do, right, is there's this big rabbit and he's huge, he's like 6 foot, right, and he's got this massive face and, I mean, it doesn't matter where you are, right, you could be wherever, could be by a windmill, it doesn't matter, and what happens is, this rabbit starts to chase you, right, and you gotta run or if you can't, you could throw sesame seeds at him, or coins or whatever, or you could just take off your Chelsea boot and just take him out, 'cause if he catches you, he just throws you on the floor... and rapes you.

Howard: ...That isn't really a game, is it? It's more like a series of events. A series of horrific events... culminating in a rape.

Vince: Its not rape its some terrific bunny bumming

Howard: From MB Games?
Quote by CoreysMonster
you know why rabbits are smarter than cows?

fucking cows start moo-ing around for no reason, but rabbits keep their mouth shut until they actually have something to say.

god I hate cows.
#32
man i love the boosh so much hahaha
Ill Take it all
Arrows and Guns.. Hundreds and more


Save you from one
#33
No Simpsons yet?

"You tried hard and you failed; the lesson here is, never try"
How I wish, how I wish
That the world, that the world
Had just one
THROAT
And my fingers were around it


Literature thread
#34
Quote by MonkeyLink07
NO SOUP FOR YOU.


Damn you, that was my idea.




Anyways, there's one that goes a bit like this:

"Better than hot pizza? That's insane"

"You don't tell me what kind of pizza to like!"
______________________________________________________________________
Last edited by Gyroscope : Tomorrow at 01:00 PM.
#35
Quote by larrytheguitar
"Uh.. that's a dildo. A strap on dildo."

"Ah, screw you all off, my codpiece is the coolest!"



Dethklok!
Quote by EchoxOath
SG has officially won this thread.
Quote by RazorTheAwesome
there are no words to describe how truly epic this is.


Quote by SGstriker
I think you win the award for the coolest member of '08
#36
Quote by SGburnsRED
Dethklok!



Actually, it's Metalocalypse but it's the thought that counts of course

Toki ftw!
R.I.P. Ronnie James Dio. Supplied amazing music to both me and my mother.

He will be missed.
#38

AND YOU'LL THANK YOUR STARS THAT YOU WENT TO GOCOMPAAAAAAAARE!!

Sorry for the size, but it is needed for the quote...

(from this commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJ-6clXHMEw)
This is my sig, isn't it

AWESOME?

[quote="'[x"]Huffy[x]']I never understood Christianity.

A religion that is essentially based on stories about an invisible man that made the universe and a magic zombie that could walk on water and got nailed to a cross.
Last edited by OlivierF at Dec 24, 2009,
#39
Quote by Run Erratic
Dammit, if id been hear quicker i would have got that one!
Went to see Bottom Live a few years ago, it was amazing!

anyway, a quote that really wont make sense if you dont know what its from:

"There was a little man....
....a little man in his hair...
.....There was a little man in his hair and i got distracted"

As a man who can quote all 3 series of Black Books end to end I salute you.

"If you live in a council flat by a river... WHAT?! And if you have no legs... WHAT?! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!"

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#40
This week, I are bin mostly eatin': Yoghurt.

Mad props to however gets this one, manic shout out massive proper.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
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