#1
In this thread, we arrive at absurd conclusions through the use of fallacies.


Example:

"So, if she weighs the same as a duck, then she's made of wood. And therefore... A WITCH!"

The above example was quoted from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yp_l5ntikaU


Now you know how it works. Go, Pitmonkeys, GO!!!
Quote by Ur all $h1t
On public transport I furiously masturbate while trying to make eye contact with as many people as possible for as long as possible.
#3
Well while we're at being irrelevant:

When you saw me sleeping
thought I was dreaming
of you...


I didn't tell you
That the only dream
Is Valium for me
#4
Loose Change.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#6
I keep forgetting the pit is like this, lol.
Quote by Ur all $h1t
On public transport I furiously masturbate while trying to make eye contact with as many people as possible for as long as possible.
#7
Quote by Holy Katana
You guys all eat dog pussy, so you're all wrong.

Nuttin' wrong wit a little "dat".
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#9
Quote by i_don't_know
The above example was quoted from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yp_l5ntikaU


no, it's not from youtube you f*cking dolt. it's from monty python. show some goddamn respect.
"Social correctness has traditionally had nothing whatever to do with reason, logic, or physics. In fact, in England it is generally considered socially incorrect to know stuff or think about things."
-Douglas Adams
#12
lol

oy she turned me into a newt!!!

i got better....
Quote by DieGarbageMan
i can become erect whilst displeasing women




What a talented person.
#13
Threads are sewn together to make shirts. Shirts keep us warm and that is very very good. Therefore threads are good. Therefore this thread is good.

Lolololol, what an absurd thing to say
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
#14
what'd yinz guyz to do mah hass! i'm from pittsburgh and if ya don't like donnie iris, yer a nortside fahg!
#DTWD
#15
Quote by whalepudding
Threads are sewn together to make shirts. Shirts keep us warm and that is very very good. Therefore threads are good. Therefore this thread is good.

Lolololol, what an absurd thing to say

Absurd, yet clever
Check out my punk band!!! Lizard on the Window We found a drummer and are now recording.

White Version FC: 4083 9268 4644
White 2 FC: 5372 8215 3622
3DS FC: 1676 4085 1677
#16
An argument me and my friends had about the old "if a tree falls in the woods and no-one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

Me: "How would the world know if there was someone near enough to hear the sound of the tree falling and then modify its physics to suit? Are you saying the earth can know stuff?"

My friend: "Yes, it can know stuff and change what happens. The earth is sentient"

Me: "Well if the entire earth is sentient, then therefore there is always someone around when a tree falls in the woods and therefore always makes a sound."

Showed him good.
Hovercraft Falcon 100 "La Dama del Solaris"
ESP LTD Phoenix-1000
Epiphone Les Paul Custom Silverburst
#17
Quote by primusfan
what'd yinz guyz to do mah hass! i'm from pittsburgh and if ya don't like donnie iris, yer a nortside fahg!

Not bad for a Lolfag. Not bad at all.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#18
Quote by Prototype4342
no, it's not from youtube you f*cking dolt. it's from monty python. show some goddamn respect.


#20
The number of Nautical Pirates in the world has steadily decreased over the last 200 years.

The temperature of the world has been steadily increasing.

Somalia has the highest number of Pirates per capita in the world.

Somalia has the lowest Carbon emissions in the world.

Therefor, the lack of pirates causes Global Warming.

╠═══════╬═══════╣

THE ASTRAL PANDA σƒ τλε τρπ βπστλεπλσσδ

╠═══════╬═══════╣


Last.fm
#21
Quote by ub3r_bassist666
The number of Nautical Pirates in the world has steadily decreased over the last 200 years.

The temperature of the world has been steadily increasing.

Somalia has the highest number of Pirates per capita in the world.

Somalia has the lowest Carbon emissions in the world.

Therefor, the lack of pirates causes Global Warming.

Being touched by his noodly appendage is not a fallacy.
Take your blasphemies to the only religion thread.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#23
pandas are white and black.

zebras are white and black.

pandas and zebras should stop being racist against mexicans.
Bands I must see in concert
Silvertide
The Black Crowes
Jackyl
Black Stone Cherry
AC/DC
StoneRider
Freedomhawk
The Darkness and/or the sideprojects of the band members
Buckcherry
The Answer

Theres more. But those are the main ones
#24
Quote by Zoot Allures
Science dosn't know why the universe exists therefore it must be to do with a god!

amidoinitrite?

No.
Science knows why the universe exists they are just withholding the information from a godless commie like you.
amidoinitrite?
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#25
Dr. Pepper's main flavor is Prune.

Dr. Pepper should give you mad shits.
Quote by Grindar
Said "mmmmgrbllll?", and proceed to fornicate with the omelets.


Quote by magnus_maximus
I don't know whether to laugh, cry or ejaculate.
#26
Jackal is old.


that is all
Bands I must see in concert
Silvertide
The Black Crowes
Jackyl
Black Stone Cherry
AC/DC
StoneRider
Freedomhawk
The Darkness and/or the sideprojects of the band members
Buckcherry
The Answer

Theres more. But those are the main ones
#27
what would socrates say? all those greeks were homosexual ... boy, they must have had some wild parties. i bet they all got a house together in crete for the summer ...

i. socrates is a man.
ii. all men are mortal.
iii. all men are socrates.

that means all men are homosexuals ... i'm not a homosexual. one time, some cossacks whistled at me. i happen to have a body that excites both persuasions.

*warning removed for the user who gets the reference withOUT googling*

Quote by Jackal58
Not bad for a Lolfag. Not bad at all.


i did that one just for you, pit papa.
#DTWD
#28
Quote by primusfan
what would socrates say? all those greeks were homosexual ... boy, they must have had some wild parties. i bet they all got a house together in crete for the summer ...

i. socrates is a man.
ii. all men are mortal.
iii. all men are socrates.

that means all men are homosexuals ... i'm not a homosexual. one time, some cossacks whistled at me. i happen to have a body that excites both persuasions.

*warning removed for the user who gets the reference withOUT googling*


i did that one just for you, pit papa.

That's pure Woody Allen.
Ya I'm old. This is a fallacy thread.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#29
This site is ultimate guitar

this site is the best guitar ever.
Bands I must see in concert
Silvertide
The Black Crowes
Jackyl
Black Stone Cherry
AC/DC
StoneRider
Freedomhawk
The Darkness and/or the sideprojects of the band members
Buckcherry
The Answer

Theres more. But those are the main ones
#30
Bleach is healthy, it's mostly water. And we're mostly water. Therefore, we are bleach.
Begin again in the night, let's sway again tonight.
Your arm on my shoulder, your cheek against mine.
Where can we go, when will we find that, we know.
#31
A cuckold is a man who's girl has cheated on him.

Cuckold sounds like cluck which is the sound a chicken makes.

To be afraid of something makes you a chicken.

If a man wants to find out if is wife is cheating on him, he is brave.

Bravery makes you not a chicken.

The man finds out his wife has cheated on him therefore is a cuckold.

Therefore all men in relationships are chickens.

I tried.
Quote by Hergiswi

Once I fucked a mountain gorilla and it couldn't even tell me it loved me afterward.
Quote by spanishyanez
Mental you get my vote for making me laugh for more than 3 minutes
#33
if you put a humidifier and a dehumidifier in the same room, the room will implode.
#DTWD
#34
Before time existed there would be nothing that could signify before or after.

But if nothing can signify before or after, how can we have before time?

JESUS!
#35
And suddenly, it's ad hominem!

No apples have pips because you're fucking gay.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
#36
When you buy food you spend money,since you spend money when you eat food,you eat money. We all know you digest what you eat and then shit, therefore money =shit, and we all know shit=food. So you eat shit and shit money.


#37
All guitarists are musicians.
Some violinists are not guitarists.
Therefore, some violinists are not musicians.

No Asians are aliens.
No Indians are aliens.
Therefore, no Indians are Asians.

wait, crap, aren't those syllogisms?
#38
One of my favourites.

When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we go to sleep.
When we go to sleep, we don't sin.
When we don't sin, we go to heaven.

...so let's all drink, and go to heaven!
#39
1. Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed
2. All polar bears are left-handed
3. If your car is stolen, there's a 10 percent chance it was taken by a Polar bear

1. 39 percent of unemployed men wear spectacles
2. 80 percent of employed men wear spectacles
3. Work stuffs up your eyesight

1. All dogs are animals
2. All cats are animals
3. Therefore, all dogs are cats

1. A total of 4000 cans are opened around the world every second
2. Ten babies are conceived around the world every second
3. Each time you open a can, you stand a 1 in 400 chance of becoming pregnant