#2
Argh! I love it but it's so all over the place. It's good though, makes me want to listen to the song again just to get that riff I expected to hear again.

I didn't really like the guitar part just before the outro, doesn't sound that great to me.

The actual outro is pretty beautiful though.

C4C? The link is in my sig. VV
Quote by naedauuf
I'm in need of a guy
#3
Not a fan of metalcore so keep that in mind as i write crit.

I like the intro. The Amaj sweep thing you're doing in bar 4 and 8 onwards, I like quite a bit.

You seem to use open power chords way too much. Try shifting up your rhythm patterns a bit. They're repetitive.

I like the change of pace in bar 45 but it changes too fast.... oh wait, no it's back.

Tempo change? nice. I like your riff quite a bit there. Makes me wanna headbang a lot.

I really like your 9/8, 7/8, 4/4 pattern.

Bar 100 onwards could use a clean guitar wayyy in the back playing arps. It's really beautiful anyways. Very graceful.

The outro is... very random. Like not the music itself. The music is insanely beautiful. One of the highlights of the song actually. You just need a better transition.

I think structure here is lacking. It seems like fitting yourself in a box but having a verse, chorus, bridge 1-20, solo, something, something, just any structure really in mind, helps a lot. Right now the song has some riffs that are nice but don't fit in with the song, they're nice on their own. I'd store em away for use in another song and basically strip this song of all it's "fat" leaving just the best stuff you've got.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1250593
#4
thought it was pretty ****ing sick. the structure did seem a little schizophrenic but it was still captivating. reminded me of parkway drive but more progressive.
#5
I, as at least one other has stated, am not a huge Metalcore fan, but this song was definitely good. Great work on it as a whole to me. As mentioned, it feels schizophrenic. I personally like that in this case. Especially the time signature changes. The outro is my favorite part of it though. Beautiful ending.
Quote by snipelfritz
I never thought I'd say this, but Bloody Piss sounds damn good.


The Iced Earth Thread