#1
MERRRY CHRISTMAS
Oh, and c4c!
Edit: okay i split it into stanzas now.

Who needs melodious pianos?
And catchy choruses
When you have blistering guitars
And screaming voices
Pounding drums
And piercing noises

My pent up emotion
Blasting through your speakers
And forcing themselves
Into your ears
Loud enough to shred your ghosts
And shatter your fears
Our ideas penetrating your brain
Interrupting your thought process
Pressure you to turn against your bosses

Come be a punk with us
And plaster propaganda
On every bus
Every blank wall
Even though the law
Will just rip them down

The pigs
Roaming the streets
Detaining the dead
Breaking up covert meets
With their wigs
Their fake golden hair
Their masked ugliness they wear
They were punks like us once
They were punks like us

So break your chains
Sever your ties
Cut the cord
Mock the world as it dies
Trust me
Its screams are beautiful
They cut through the night
Quote by turd_ferguson
[0:17] If my parents knew I was part of a group who celebrated christmas by drinking cough syrup they would probably cry

WEATHERER, the greatest band ever.
Last edited by benx3000 at Dec 25, 2009,
#2
That was pretty good. There were some parts that had me kinda confused rhythm-wise but I think that might be because it wasn't broken into stanzas... or I may just be illiterate.

Anyways, is it just a poem or do you have music for it? Cause that would be a bada$$ song.

C4C? Mines called "Luigi the itallion stallion"
In diesem Herz hab ich die Macht.

Gear:
Fender MIM HSS Strat (Wine Red)
VOX Valvetronix VT20+
Kay K390 Acoustic
#4
pretty good man, some rhymth parts were kinda weird, these actually kinda remind me of modern life is war.

c4c? Guilty & Selfish
#5
Thanks! I do have music for this, just no way to record it. Im hoping that after christmas ill have enough money to buy an interface so this will be the first song i record.
Quote by turd_ferguson
[0:17] If my parents knew I was part of a group who celebrated christmas by drinking cough syrup they would probably cry

WEATHERER, the greatest band ever.
#6
Quote by benx3000
Thanks! I do have music for this, just no way to record it. Im hoping that after christmas ill have enough money to buy an interface so this will be the first song i record.


Hey, fix your link in your sig, buddy, you coded it a little wrong

Oh, and that song you commented of mine, early, psychosis, thanks a ton- I know how you feel. Post christmas, this'll be my first recording in AGES.
#7
Very good. I can never get any idea of the rhythm from lyrics though, so I'm going to have to wait eagerly for your recording.
C4C? Mine is "Absentee God"
Quote by dr_shred
FrustratedRocka you are a legend

Quote by littlephil

The man clearly knows his shit.

Quote by Banjocal


one of the best, educated and logical posts I've ever seen on UG in the Pit. Well done good sir.
#8
Thank you fro the crit. I appreciate it. Secondly, I'm not a fan of the word, melodious. I mean it's an instrument, of course it's gonna be melodious. But more so, it's an awkward word to say. Also, why isn't this piece put into seperate stanzas? Seriously, split that mother! The rhythm seems a bit weird, a bit faster than what I'm used to, but that the frantic nature of it suites the piece. Anyways, can't wait to hear it recorded.
#9
You're just saying a bunch of things that I've heard before, and the worst part is that it's not even about anything. It's just about being a punk. Well gee, that's such an original topic. And y'know the even worse worst part is that I don't care at all because nothing in this piece gives me a reason to care or anything to care about. Sorry if this is vague 'cause this is the condensed version of what I'd normally type out in explanation. If you want me to elaborate just PM me, it's just that I'm short on time right now.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#10
Now THIS was some tight writing!
I loved the way you danced around exactly what the message was that you were trying to convey, and was a little surprised when you actually got down to spelling it right out.
I think the way in which you approached writing this was original and unique.
Well done, bro
#11
Thanks everyone! I ordered an alesis multimix interface today. So in a couple of weeks, this (among other things) should be recorded and floating around on the interwebs.
Quote by turd_ferguson
[0:17] If my parents knew I was part of a group who celebrated christmas by drinking cough syrup they would probably cry

WEATHERER, the greatest band ever.
#12
Quote by Ganoosh
You're just saying a bunch of things that I've heard before, and the worst part is that it's not even about anything. It's just about being a punk. Well gee, that's such an original topic. And y'know the even worse worst part is that I don't care at all because nothing in this piece gives me a reason to care or anything to care about. Sorry if this is vague 'cause this is the condensed version of what I'd normally type out in explanation. If you want me to elaborate just PM me, it's just that I'm short on time right now.


Thats the whole point dumbass, punk is punk soley for the purpous of being PUNK
oi oi oi oi
Sorry if Ive offended some kind of Punk God I should brush up on my Commandments of Punk maybe copy down the Punk Bible a few thousand times so I don't forget again sorry for my error O Punk Master Of All Things That Are Punk .
#13
Quote by BrandyCross
Thats the whole point dumbass, punk is punk soley for the purpous of being PUNK
oi oi oi oi


Excuse me? Kill me for caring, I guess I'm never again going to try to help someone who writes endlessly generic lyrics climb out of that horribly boring hole. Sorry if I've offended some kind of Punk God or high deity, I guess those dudes are old fashioned and they like everything done the same, don't they? I should brush up on my Commandments of Punk, maybe copy down the Punk Bible a few thousand times so I don't forget again. I'm sorry for my error, O Punk Master Of All Things That Are Punk. Please forgive my transgression and allow me to continue to Rock My Face Off and Rebel Against Any And All Authority For No Reason Whatsoever. If these liberties were taken away, I might just die of Conformism (dun dun dun).


It's spelled purpose, dumbass and 'round here you criticize writing, not criticism. Dumbass.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
Last edited by Ganoosh at Dec 27, 2009,
#14
Quote by Ganoosh
Excuse me? Kill me for caring, I guess I'm never again going to try to help someone who writes endlessly generic lyrics climb out of that horribly boring hole. Sorry if I've offended some kind of Punk God or high deity, I guess those dudes are old fashioned and they like everything done the same, don't they? I should brush up on my Commandments of Punk, maybe copy down the Punk Bible a few thousand times so I don't forget again. I'm sorry for my error, O Punk Master Of All Things That Are Punk. Please forgive my transgression and allow me to continue to Rock My Face Off and Rebel Against Any And All Authority For No Reason Whatsoever. If these liberties were taken away, I might just die of Conformism (dun dun dun).


It's spelled purpose, dumbass and 'round here you criticize writing, not criticism. Dumbass.


OMG i ****ing love it, you rule im soo putting this in my sig, (takes a bow)
Sorry if Ive offended some kind of Punk God I should brush up on my Commandments of Punk maybe copy down the Punk Bible a few thousand times so I don't forget again sorry for my error O Punk Master Of All Things That Are Punk .
#15
I dislike you.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#16
Quote by Ganoosh
I dislike you.


i had to severly edit it to get it to fit in my sig :P awww, but its still awesome, thanks , you rock ,
Sorry if Ive offended some kind of Punk God I should brush up on my Commandments of Punk maybe copy down the Punk Bible a few thousand times so I don't forget again sorry for my error O Punk Master Of All Things That Are Punk .