#1
hey guys, I came up with this little tune last night. I am very very new to writing songs so Im not sure what the "correct" structure should be. I just uploaded it and it should be in my profile called "Song Idea" Please take a listen and tell me what you think!!

Thanks!!

Peavey 6505+
Les Paul Custom Silverburst

Tool 5/5/06
Tool 11/24/07
Tool 12/8/07
RHCP 4/28/07
RAtM 4/29/07
Black Label Society 3/7/09
Black Label Society 5/4/09
Metallica 12/7/09
Alice in Chains 2/8/10
Lamb of God 7/14/10
#2
I suggest playing with a metronome or a click track. Other than that, the riffs sound pretty good. Now all you have to do is give it some structure..........
#3
you were going for a metal like song right if you were it got accomplished but i suggest lessen up on that harmonic it got a bit repetetive
just my opinion
#4
Quote by supersac
you were going for a metal like song right if you were it got accomplished but i suggest lessen up on that harmonic it got a bit repetetive
just my opinion


yea i was goin for the metal sound

Peavey 6505+
Les Paul Custom Silverburst

Tool 5/5/06
Tool 11/24/07
Tool 12/8/07
RHCP 4/28/07
RAtM 4/29/07
Black Label Society 3/7/09
Black Label Society 5/4/09
Metallica 12/7/09
Alice in Chains 2/8/10
Lamb of God 7/14/10
#5
I second the metronome, along with it being on time and with drums it would be pretty good. The harmonics was nice but it did feel used a bit much, but it all depends on what you're going for.
#6
Quote by natesrecord
I second the metronome, along with it being on time and with drums it would be pretty good. The harmonics was nice but it did feel used a bit much, but it all depends on what you're going for.


yea for sure. I have been playing for about 2 years and im all self taught. im getting some lessons soon which will hopefully help me keep in time and play more rhythmic. As for the harmonics, blame that on Zakk Wylde haha, I dont know how he does it... he uses a million of em and they all sound awesome but whenever i try it, they sound like overkill. but yea, i know what youre saying haha.

Peavey 6505+
Les Paul Custom Silverburst

Tool 5/5/06
Tool 11/24/07
Tool 12/8/07
RHCP 4/28/07
RAtM 4/29/07
Black Label Society 3/7/09
Black Label Society 5/4/09
Metallica 12/7/09
Alice in Chains 2/8/10
Lamb of God 7/14/10
#8
Quote by shredder2be93
I agree with less harmonics. What kind of metal are you aiming for? The tone wouldn't be all that good for death or melodic metal, but if you are shooting for more Zack Wylde, then very nice :P

Crit? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1250527



yea, I was shooting more towards Zakk Wylde on that one. I think i was listening to a BLS CD before i came up with it.

Also, i liked yours too! i liked the part at 20 seconds the best

Peavey 6505+
Les Paul Custom Silverburst

Tool 5/5/06
Tool 11/24/07
Tool 12/8/07
RHCP 4/28/07
RAtM 4/29/07
Black Label Society 3/7/09
Black Label Society 5/4/09
Metallica 12/7/09
Alice in Chains 2/8/10
Lamb of God 7/14/10
#9
Yeah, definitely tighten up the rhythm, but I could tell where it was going and what you were after.

My favorite part was between about 1:03 and 1:24 or so. This would make an excellent foundation for a chorus.

From a song perspective a lot of the stuff before that was good metal intro stuff, but would be difficult to integrate with lyrical content other than the standard unintelligible growling/grunt/bark stuff. For an instrumental piece it'd be fine.

If you want to add lyrics, then take a listen to the verse portions of Metallica's 'Seek & Destroy'. They chunk away on low strings with small fills that don't take up too much musical space so that it's tough to focus on lyrical content. At least that's helped me a little bit.

Just polish up your timing, you've got a good start.

Feel free to give a crit to my latest...
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1250029
#10
Quote by cheapr2keepr
Yeah, definitely tighten up the rhythm, but I could tell where it was going and what you were after.

My favorite part was between about 1:03 and 1:24 or so. This would make an excellent foundation for a chorus.

From a song perspective a lot of the stuff before that was good metal intro stuff, but would be difficult to integrate with lyrical content other than the standard unintelligible growling/grunt/bark stuff. For an instrumental piece it'd be fine.

If you want to add lyrics, then take a listen to the verse portions of Metallica's 'Seek & Destroy'. They chunk away on low strings with small fills that don't take up too much musical space so that it's tough to focus on lyrical content. At least that's helped me a little bit.

Just polish up your timing, you've got a good start.

Feel free to give a crit to my latest...
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1250029



Thanks for your crit it was really helpful. thanks!

I liked your stuff too! really nice tone!

Peavey 6505+
Les Paul Custom Silverburst

Tool 5/5/06
Tool 11/24/07
Tool 12/8/07
RHCP 4/28/07
RAtM 4/29/07
Black Label Society 3/7/09
Black Label Society 5/4/09
Metallica 12/7/09
Alice in Chains 2/8/10
Lamb of God 7/14/10