#1
A song I wrote a few years ago and forgot about. I was digging up old compositions and this came up and I changed a lot of things. It's basically technical death metal but a bit simpler and groovier at times. Can't really describe it. Anyways, C4C and feel free to say whatever.

Btw, it would probably have a title but I haven't written lyrics for it yet.

EDIT 1: Updated second solo. I think it fits a bit better.

EDIT 2: For simplicity's sake, I'm removing the old zip file.
Attachments:
Metal Song Necro'd New.zip
Last edited by Limaj_daas at Apr 14, 2010,
#2
Woah, this is... amazing. I didn't like from bar 114 (second solo) until the end of the song, but everything else is exceptional.

Might not be your style but check mine out? It's in the sig.
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#3
Awesome work mate! Sounds like necrophagist. Seriously riffs were so perfect so I have nothing to discuss about them. Riffs might be little bit repeative, but it's very minor problem. After second verse you could add somekind of instrumental bridge or something. So it wont be verse - chorus - verse - chorus. Your clean part was just awesome. Pretty high solo, but that's not bad it was actually good. Second bridge riff is very good! Ok, solo 2 has something to discuss.
It doesn't sound anymore like necrophagist.. xD. It's not bad.
But since from
Bar 115: Instead of using B(9th freth, E string) you should use A#. It sounds like too happy with B. No, no, no. This might be my opinion, but I think many will agree on this. Second solo was also a bit.. meh.. I didn't like it. It wasn't sweeping like necrophagist and no egypt scales etc. But no seriously It wasn't very good atlast for my taste.
Also bar 137 sounded off.
#4
^^ Thanks for your crits. The change in the second solo was on purpose. I wanted to see how it would work if I for once didn't use a middle eastern scales to solo, lol.

Btw, bar 137 might sound "off" because of the G# is off the scale. It sounded evil to me, lolz.

Demonology, I'm listening to your stuff right now.
#5
when i listened i kinda felt a "death metal dragonforce kinda thing" and i dont mean that as offense, i love dragonforce, as for your song, im not really into the scales you used, but you did use the scales well
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#6
Saad? Sorry for the random question, but have you every lived in Saudi? The guitar on your page and the sweeps in your music sound very familiar...

I liked it. It was very brutal, for lack of a better word. It kinda tired me out listening to it. but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Your harmonies are always very good. I always enjoy those very much.

I really liked your choruses. The break was really needed and very well written. though, I would have kept it softer for longer by having the rhythm guitar harmonize with the acoustic instead of play chords.

The arab scales are always fun! I'm as white as you can get, but I still love em.

When you get into that octave riff during the second bridge, you might try steadying out your drumming after a few bars. I mean, getting a steady high hat or cymbal on every beat. It would just really tighten up the sound.

Overall, very nice! Quite a composition.

C4C! (in my sig)
#7
Max Butterfield? Haha, damn the world is small. I see what you mean by the tightening of the drums. I'm going all Lars Ulrich there :P. I'll probably change it. And yes arab scales are fun. Though I'm starting to prefer melodic minor to harmonic minor. Anyways, I shall listen to your epic prog suite in a small while.
#8
ooo saad... melodic minor is such a pain... but i'm in the melodic boat too, haha...

yep it's me! I hope I helped, and that you're surviving the harsh canadian winters so far from your hot days here!
#9
Thanks for the crit. Haha, now I see why you thought my song was boring. There's definitely a lot of stuff going on in this song preventing one from getting bored. I didn't really like the intro, but when all the other instruments came in it got really good. Still - try not to overuse sweeps. The clean break had a lot of dissonance but it still worked really well. I really like the build up and the solo too. I thought the riff on bar 96 -> was kinda generic or just...I dunno, uninteresting. I didn't really like the solo either - the whole thing sounded a bit absurd somehow (especially the end of the solo). The outro lead melody is a bit too dissonant, especially at bars 144-145.

Overall, great work, just a few minor gripes. This does kinda remind me of Quo Vadis. It was more like power metal than death or thrash though imo. I just wish you had retained the same level of interesting-eness as you had at the beginning of the song, with the bass breaks and little sweeps and pauses and whatnot.
Last edited by Pingis_Or_Death at Dec 27, 2009,
#10
I hate you because of the amazing crit you gave me, and I can only hope to give back..half the quality of that crit. Plus I know about 2 different thing when it comes to theory so, when you said stuff like Amaj doesnt go in the Emin scale, I was like...."k".

Anyway, moving on.

The intro on this bad boy was delicious, when the sweeps/bass taps come in, I was taken by surprise, not really expecting that. I guess I'm not the biggest fan of the bass tapping/sweeps in that way you did it, but it works.

The next riff is really good too, I found myself bobbing my head, I really like how you include the bass into the mix as its own instrument, as it has a presence.

The riff at 13 is good, but when you bring in that weird sweep, eh, not a fan of that. As mentioned before, the sweeps are a bit overused.

The triplets at the end of the bars in the verse are really cool, I like how you vary it. (Except the sweeps, just not my taste)

I LOVE the chorus when you re-introduce the intro, the chords really compliment it, and It has a great atmosphere.

The break is so damn creepy, like...its a sense of suspense I'm waiting for, I know it sounds like a familiar band..but since I don't listen to thrash..or much plain metal, I wouldn't know.

I was expecting there to be a second solo right after the first where the drums when doubletime and the guitars went back to distortion, I thought that would have been nice, and just make the 2nd solo a complete wank and shred fest.

The tempo change is beastly, I love that type of break, it really pulled me back into the song.

The 2nd solo was...eh, really not that great in my opinion, the placement was okay, but..the solo itself, wasn't really that good, It just didn't fit

The outro is good, I like how you bring the intro back, but, the note the 2nd guitar plays on bar 137..god it needs to be changed.

Overall, it's a good song, I'm not a fan or anything close to a fan of the genre, but I really enjoyed alot of the parts.
Poop.


Yes, poop.
#11
^ Haha, thanks a lot! And yes, I probably do over use sweeps :P And seeing as the second solo ruins the song for so many people, I'll change it when I have time.
#12
Nice work, kinda catchy. Loved it.
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#13
Thanks for your crit on my song!

Really liking the feel of this song for the most part.

Opening lick is pretty cool, albeit a bit predictable if you ask me but it accompanies the riffage very well when it all kicks in. The song has quite a bit of energy to it but the riffs even though they're all different are somehow reminiscent of the main theme which takes away from the freshness of it a bit.

Clean interlude is very nice, I reckon it could have had an arabic/middle eastern sounding bass solo here. The first solo is pretty cool but there are quite a few bits where all the dissonance gets a bit much and the solo goes off key but it manages to stay tasteful for the most part.

Bridge 2 was very entertaining, excellent buildup for the rest of the song and a good aftermath to the clean interlude. However, I'm just not feeling the 2nd solo, it just doesn't communicate anything to me but I can see other people loving the solo. I reckon it could be better with some more aggressive drums and an eviler sounding solo. It just sounded very pentatonic to me and that stuff usually doesn't do much for me.

Overall a kickass song, really good rhythmic ideas and structure, just the main riffs being reminiscent to the theme made it a bit bland but I think it's still good!
#14
Hey man, thanks for critting my song. I don't know if I can crit this as well as you did mine because I'm really a songwriting-n00b.

I liked the first riff, gave a feel of melody. It reminded me of something Decrepit Birth would write somehow (which is a very good thing), especially the way the rhythm and drums work together in the chorus, and how you use the 5th-note harmonies the way Chuck Schuldiner would do them, not the 7th-note harmonies (I have absolutely no knowledge of actual music theory, I just know what notes go with which, so forgive me if that's a bit vague).

The flow of the song was great, the break came unexpected but was absolutely fitting.

The latter part of the song was a little more heavy metal / thrash - oriented which I'm not too fond of / familiar with in terms of guitar playing, but didn't sound bad in any way.

In short, good job!
#15
Brootal stuff man. I liked it alot. It did get a bit repetitive after a while and the chorus didn't work that well, the things seemed out of time but overall it was pretty great. The harmonies worked well and the acoustic part fit well.

The solo seemed like it built up and up but never reached any kind of climax which sucked . However, the solo itself was really nice. Maybe just add something onto the end of it. Solo 2 sounds more thrash metal than death metal but is still pretty cool.

Overall, 8 out of 10

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1253949
#16
Woah. This has some serious Momentum to it. Themes are amazing, Very brutal and in depth. Forgot what the main theme reminds me of, but I play that same theme lol...

Awesome.

The second solo doesn't pick up much until 121, so Id alter it a bit before that to keep it closer to the rest of the song.

Amazing song though. You better record that one day.

I made an attachment from the file so I can listen to it on my dial up...
Attachments:
Metal Song Necro'd.mid
Last edited by Life Is Brutal at Jan 5, 2010,
#18
Well, this starts off pretty cool, was expecting total wank blast off the start but a little intro is nice .

I felt the drums could have accented the beggining lead in better (Measure 4) Considering the triplets, but ah well. Just sounds like a mess of toms.

Other than that nice method of harmonizing your little lead tapping with the underlying riff, pretty cool.

I won't put the amount of sweeps as a negative considering it's a stylistic approach, justs must say that they're all rather well placed, and I like the fact that they don't follow exact harmonies and thirds everytime - it makes for listening intently to figure out each guitar line, I find that pretty cool actually.

One of my initial dislikes is how little variation there is until you get to the break, at least harmonizing your palm muted runs/changing from your root note/changing your rhythmic on each pass could have done something interesting and kept it fresh, I feel it's just a lot of copy paste for now. Still structure wise it works greatly so I think it's very workable.

I rather liked the break, and the way it came into place, the buildup, but I have a few quips with it, first of all the wanted dissonance at bar 78 works originally but during the solo, ech. sounds really bad man.

Also the solo is generally uninspiring,. has good moments, has bad moments, has boring moments, and notes that are off that seem to resolve into another off note, making it sound rather upsetting (84 and first note on 85) that made me wince =/.

Another point, I think the drums and bass should come off doing just punches right as the solo or before the solo or during, just somewhere, the dynamic should raise through the drums and bass to build up more effectively.

Bridge 2 comes on strong and sounds pretty awesome, I rather liked it.

Solo 2 well... comes off as a strange change of tonality, but I actually prefered it over the first solo, more interesting and unexpected, sounded rather interesting (I particularly liked the rhythmic chord part at 130 and the way it accentuated the other guitar, cool stuff).

The outro's interesting enough, I guess it works, it's not horrible but I think the idea could be polished off a bit.

Interesting song, much more groovy than I expected actually. I think with a bit of polish, and some variation at the beggining, it could be a killer tune man.

C4C? Either Hypomaniac in my sig, or I submitted a song to the tab songwriting contest called Delusions... your call .
#19
hey man

thanks for the crit on my track, ill keep working on it.

hmmm
well if im being honest, im not too keen on that intro riff, seems alittle boring, but as soon as the band comes in its badass. it totally works. does have quite abit of a necrophagist vibe. not too much but is is in there.

im loving bar 13. i dont think it would work at all without the bend.

bar 30, dude!!! its awsome, one sugestion, maybe a second guitar holding the power chord could be cool. its also got a mint groove

the break has a classic 90's metal feel to it. i say metal, i mean the clean metal riffs. i liked, the cybmals are a nice touch too. chords are brilliant. i like the ugly ones

pretty eastern solo. plus ten. the bit after the pitch bend kicks ass.

shit, my mates are here. will do the rest later
#21
Oh, snap. I forgot. I'll do it asap.

EDIT: Done I think i made up for the delay by writing a decent crit.
Last edited by Limaj_daas at Jan 9, 2010,
#22
back

just got home with a nasty hangover

anyway,

bridge 2. nothing special to me. although i did really like the drums.

bar 121 really caught my attention. good work on that. and the bluesy part after that

137 was disgusting, good stuff,.

all in all man, this is a good song, maybe just work on your dissonance
#23
LOVE IT. Honestly, I take all of the changes to be progressing and very.. 'epic' sounding. I would like to hear this professionally recorded with some real gear.. :P
TOO MANY PUPPIES

Soda sucks.
#24
^ Why thank you. I'd love to hear it recorded but unfortunately it is a BITCH to play. The solos are all easy but its the rhythms, they kill me. And I don't even want to think about the bass hahaha.

EDIT: Was that just a comment or would you like me to crit something?
Last edited by Limaj_daas at Mar 2, 2010,
#25
Hey, thanks for a critique of my song.. And yes, in that song, I was only looking for the atmosphere and not riffs.. It is like on of those songs you would want to go sleep hearing to it..

I have another song which has more number of riffs but I'll save it for some other time..

Anyway, onto your song.. One word - Necrophagist.. Well not exactly, as I haven't listened to them properly yet. But your song makes me want to.. It's just brilliant! From the opening tapping riff to the typical palm-muted riffs present in most tech-death songs to the ever-present sweeps, this has everythin! Great work man..

The drums have been laid out perfectly. I really liked the use of the snares and cymbals at the same time instead of a blast beats-kinda setup.. I think most tech-death bands use this. I've heard similar setups in Destroyer 666 (yeah, they aint tech-death), Obscura and many others.. Nice work there..

I'm a bit surprised that the sweeps made a large part of the rhythm riffs but didn't feature in the two solos at all.. I was expecting some sweeps here and there.. That's not to say that the solos were missing anything.. The first solo was just right. The second one didn't seem to start of very well. I started getting into it only after.. uhh.. bar 121.. And then there were parts in that, which I thought didn't fit in very well. Maybe you can change some parts.. Still it's pretty good..

The rhythm sections are damn good. Keeps a good tempo and really kept me headbanging..
I'm a sucker for an acoustic interlude and what you have hear fits the bill perfectly! The way the acoustic builds up, bass coming in and then the guitars coming leading to the solo.. well.. it's perfect! (I've used perfect too many times here, I know.. )

Overall, great song! I would love to see this live one day, or perhaps a recorded piece of the same.. Fits the tech-death genre quite well.. Great job!

And finally.. I'm not sure if it'll please you in any way, but check out my acoustic-laden instrumental.. https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1283302.. Improve the solo if you can..
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#26
Pretty damn good man. The second solo is alright at first, so I think you consolidate it's strength's and shorten it 4 or so bars.

Everything else was solid. Maybe it's because I don't listen to much Necro, but I didn't really hear the comparison. I went in expecting wank, and I got a great song in return. I know this is very untroo, but I hear more Protest the Hero, especially towards the end.

I think you should join the Tab Songwriting Contest, sir.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1100090
#27
Quote by huevos
Pretty damn good man. The second solo is alright at first, so I think you consolidate it's strength's and shorten it 4 or so bars.

Everything else was solid. Maybe it's because I don't listen to much Necro, but I didn't really hear the comparison. I went in expecting wank, and I got a great song in return. I know this is very untroo, but I hear more Protest the Hero, especially towards the end.

I think you should join the Tab Songwriting Contest, sir.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1100090

Thanks a lot! Some of the riffing was inspired by necrophagist but that's about it. I hate needless wankery in general though :P. Wank is nothing without songwriting. I haven't heard too much Protest the Hero but I'll check out. And good music is good music, troo or untroo. As long as it has quality musicianship, its awesome. And no, I am not wholesaling subjectivity .

And I shall join the Tab Songwriting Contest asap. Thanks for the tip!
#28
Intro sounds pretty generic I must say.. When the band enters it works though, but still doesn't really 'grab' me

I really hate the kick-snare metal rhythm, I don't think it fits in pretty much any circumstance. The verse riff isn't too good either. I've heard it before. The sweep tries to pull it up, but doesn't manage it.

The chorus part is a bit better, but still, I'm not too keen on the melody, not that interesting really.

You magically made the acoustic part fit though, which I find to be rare. Leads well into the solo as well. The solo kinda lacks direction though, you should make it lead right into the next part, instead of ending it before. It feels stale, going in the same tempo for it's entire duration.

Not really keen on the final riff or the final solo at all, the riff seem 'happy' which I personally don't like in metal, and the solo sounds off key at times, especially from bar 130 and out.

Well, that turned out to be pretty negative.. Well, I'm not really into thrash, groove or tech-dm metal at all, so take what you can get good job writing the drums though, they look like they took time
#31
This is an amazing ****ing piece of work. Definitely heard some Necrophagist in there. Only crit I really have is that Solo 2 just sounds too major. Otherwise I give this track full ratings. Record this ASAP!
#32
Thanks dude! Solo 2 is still too major? Did you check out the original zip file or the updated one?

I'll start recording my stuff once I get decent gear... which is no time soon .
#33
not my thing, but its really good. The second half of the song was better than the first half.
#34
So, crit as I go here....

That lead line at the beginning I think could be a little more subtle. Maybe if this is ever played live, get a volume pedal and fade it in. That'd be a very cool effect there.
When the rhythm guitars come in, it reminded me quite a bit of Nile's old stuff. Very cool. However, some of the guitar parts fingering-wise made me cringe a bit. Either you have gigantic fingers, or those need to be changed to accomadate real playing ability.

Didn't really care for the riff at 13. Seemed fairly bland and that bass fill at 21 was... how can I say, maybe just rudimentary? I didn't think it worked with the song well.

However, the chorus riff is freakin' sick. I love the lead line, and the drum part you wrote really complements the guitar work.

Back to the riff at 42. I like that one a bit. Its interesting, and hooks the listener a bit.
Now, the bass fill at 53 was great. Perfect use.

The clean riff is strange because of the mode you use there. It works, but it's a little confusing to the average listener because of the ambiguity of a major or minor key.
Sweet freakin' lead line again though. Really nice. The technicque at 88 is one of my favorites, so nice job.

The transition out of the solo section was minimal, but worked exactly to suit your purposes. And that riff is really pretty sweet. I would've done a little more with the drum part to create a little more of a menacing feel there.

Good use of 3/4 too. I love when people throw in different time sigs.

Ahh, the outro. Honestly, I really didn't like it. It seemed a little out of place, and your backing lines didn't reflect the lead at all.

Other than that, it's a pretty sweet song. I know GP doesn't do justice to death metal, so all in all, its a pretty sweet work.

Check out mine? You prolly like either of the ones not called "Another Tune."
Thanks man.
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