#1
Long time since I've been here Feels good to be making music again. Anyway here it is. Some notes I guess should ring out a little longer but I can't be bothered messing around with all the tempos and time signatures again, so keep that in mind. Thanks.
Attachments:
Nameless & Armed2.gp4
Nameless & Armed2.mid
Quote by naedauuf
I'm in need of a guy
Last edited by Demonology at Dec 26, 2009,
#2
I like the overall atmosphere in this song, sounds a little proggy and a little melodic while still being heavy. There's a riff near the start though that seems to have the exact same structure as a song I've heard before, I think it's Unholy Confessions by Avenged Sevenfold? I've definitely heard it before anyway.

I really love that riff at about 1:10 to !:25 and the following section, has a nice sound to it. I'm horrible at anything theoretical by ear, but it sounds sort of like harmonic minor? or te locrian mode I don't know, but I love that sound.

I also really like the section after the short breakdown (which I'm sure sounds a lot better not as a midi) where you use the keyboard or whatever that midi sound is to create that sort of "epic" sound, it reminded me a little of Darkane.

The pause was long and strange but I guess you have some reason, the riff afterwards sounds a little strange, but I like strange and I think it ended it nicely.
#3
Man, I checked out your stuff. It's too major for mem I like more minor songs, but I like riff that starts in bar 49 - it's "metalcore-ish". I don't understand weird chord 9-0-0 in the intro. This chord makes me feel like this 0_o smile But - write more songs man, and you should stay true!
Last edited by Tom Araya at Dec 25, 2009,
#4
it has a strange beat? like old jazz kinda? idk, its ok. i don't really get the chord at the beginning
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#5
Alright, you said it might not be my style so I'll keep that in mind while critting.

Bars 1-16, I like the fade in, though it was more towards the end of the bars and for basically bars 1-8 you can't hear too much. Minor issue. Alright now that I can hear the riff from bar 17-32 I think the 9-0-0 chord isn't so great. It would sound better if you would play a progression or something with it like:
  Q    E  E  Q    E  E   
------------------------|
-------------7----------|
-------------0----------|
-------------0----------|
-------------9----------|
--0----0--0-------0--0--|


  Q    E  E  Q    E  E   
------------------------|
-------------8----------|
-------------0----------|
-------------0----------|
-------------9----------|
--0----0--0-------0--0--|


  E  E  E  E  Q    E  E   
--------------7----------|
-------------------------|
--------------0----------|
--------------0----------|
--------------9----------|
--0--0--0--0-------0--0--|


  Q    E  E   Q    E  E   
-------------------------|
-------------10----------|
--------------0----------|
--------------0----------|
--------------9----------|
--0----0--0--------0--0--|


  E  E  E  E  Q    E  E   
-------------------------|
--------------7----------|
--------------0----------|
--------------0----------|
--------------9----------|
--0--0--0--0-------0--0--|


  Q    E  E  Q    E  E   
------------------------|
-------------8----------|
-------------0----------|
-------------0----------|
-------------9----------|
--0----0--0-------0--0--|


  E  E  E  E  Q    E  E   
-------------------------|
-------------------------|
--------------8----------|
--------------0----------|
--------------9----------|
--0--0--0--0-------0--0--|


  E  E  Q    E  E  E  E                     
-------------------------|-----|-----|-----|
-------------------------|-----|-----|-----|
--------7----------------|-----|-----|-----|
--------0----------------|-----|-----|-----|
--------9----------------|-----|-----|-----|
--0--0-------0-----------|-----|-----|-----|


Anyways, that's really up to you, I just thought it'd sound better.

Bars 32-48 remind me of swing music. Don't know if that's what you intended. It's more of a compliment than a comment though because you break out of the not choices that define traditional riffs.

Bars 49-64 nice use of the harmonic minor. Also, the changing rhythms are quite nice. Like how you used the drums to change intensity. Like bars 49-50 are a bit softer than bars 51-52. Again, I'm getting some major jazz/swing feel here.

Bars 65-82. Love the use of syncopation there. Like how the rests are placed on an upbeat. Unique. It gets slightly repetitive so you might want to try to make it a bit more interesting. Btw, the riff is pretty good so repetition isn't necessarily a negative thing. When there's a riff as groovy and catchy as this, I like to headbang for a while, not go like "wait no it changed!". And you succeeded in doing that.

Aha, tempo change! I like the general melody in bars 83- but you could have it a bit more syncopated like the rest of your song. It seems very stagnant. I noticed that the first guitar is playing quite a thrashy riff but is hidden behind the second guitar. Panning would probably solve that. Btw, if you use non-syncopated riffs in order to contrast the next part, then that is pretty cool. And hmm, that chord at the end of 100. Also, the last two eighth notes should be changed to SSE as opposed to EE. It works better imo.

And the whole song repeats without much change. Bad choice. Well... I suppose vocals would be driving it and this is just the music so maybe not so bad a choice then.

Bars 103-206. Although the guitars were pretty cool, I thought there was something missing. Then I noticed that the drums in bars 168-174 didn't have too many cymbals or snare hits. Fixing that would fix that "gap" in the sound that I heard. Tempo change in bar 183 is... nice and very unexpected. And somehow it works. Well done there. The choir section hmm replace it with strings and make it slowly progress higher while maintaining the lower chords.

Bar 205 yet again shows me how much you love tempo changes. A major melody to counter that evil sounding harmonic minor. Nicely done. Bars 205-239 would probably make for a nice solo. But the choir again, is too soft here. Try a string section and make it bombastic! haha.

But wait, it is not over! The acoustic guitar slowly comes in and then the main riff again. I see what you're trying to do with the second guitar in bars 250 onwards. Hmm, i'd say that instead of doing that, why dont you change the riff. Like how it is using D as a pedal point for all the bars of the song. You could try changing the pedal point itself. Like:

     E  E  E  E  E  E  E  E   
E||--------------------------|
B||--------------------------|
G||--------------------------|
D||--------------------------|
A||--------9-----9--------5--|
D||--0--0-----0-----0--0-----|


  E  E  E  E  E  E  E   E   
---------------------------|
---------------------------|
---------------------------|
---------------------------|
-----8--------5-----8h--9--|
--0-----0--0-----0---------|


  E  E  E  E  E  E  E  E   
--------------------------|
--------------------------|
--------------------------|
--------4-----4-----------|
-----------------------5--|
--2--2-----2-----2--2-----|


  E  E  E  E  E  E  E  E   
--------------------------|
--------------------------|
--------------------------|
-----3--------------0--3--|
--------------0--1--------|
--2-----2--2--------------|


  E  E  E  E  E  E  E  E   
--------------------------|
--------------------------|
--------------------------|
--------4-----4-----------|
-----------------------5--|
--3--3-----3-----3--3-----|


  E  E  E  E  E  E  E   E   
---------------------------|
---------------------------|
---------------------------|
-----3--------0-----3h--4--|
---------------------------|
--3-----3--3-----3---------|


  E  E  E  E  E  E  E  E   
--------------------------|
--------------------------|
--------------------------|
--------------------------|
--------9-----9--------5--|
--5--5-----5-----5--5-----|


  E  E  Q    Q    Q      
-----------------------||
-----------------------||
-----------------------||
-----------------------||
--------7----6----3----||
--5--5--7----6----3----||


And your 7-6-3 power chords should be doubled by the second guitar.

Overall the song is very much my taste. I love most parts, even the parts that I didn't like so much were only because I was so picky. You should add bass to the song and have it noodling around at times. That would be epic.
#6
Okay crit as I go...

The begging is too repetitive, try adding in some fills or something, some bass would help too,
I
really liked bars 33-40, they had a good upbeat feel to them, but needs a little bit of background tracks.

Measures 49-64 have a weird feel and seem like its switching keys, try to stay with in the scale and use 5ths and 7ths to attach other notes,

Measures 65-82 are pretty cool, but it would help to throw in a little bass again and have a pre-whatevertheheckthisthingis to tie into it.

I really like measure 83-100 not much crit for that,

Measures 152-190, really boring, throw in a vocal lead or bass lead there and it would sound alot better,

Finally, The Choir section, I liked the beat, but the choir kind of overpowered everything. Try turning that down a little.


Overall Id say a pretty good song, probably... 6.5 - 7 out 10

But seriously... A Bass would REALLY help.
#7
Thanks guys, my jaw almost dropped when I saw Limaj's crit!

I'm just happy I don't have to change the drums much - those are really frustrating to redo.

Edit: I used a few of your guys suggestions and adjusted the drums and strings, really made a huge difference in the 'smoothness' of the whole song. Thanks guys!

Now all is left to do is add bass and a solo.
Quote by naedauuf
I'm in need of a guy
Last edited by Demonology at Dec 25, 2009,
#9
I found this track a bit weird. I agree with the swing feel of the song, it makes it sound original and I did enjoy the 'Metalcore-ish' riffs with the harmonization. I think a solo would do this song justice. I enjoyed the strings at the end, I think they were put in nicely so thumbs up. The gap in the song was unnecessarily long in my opinion and I think that that detracts a bit from the song overall. I find the little acoustic section a bit spontaneous but I like it so .

I think this is a good song, but it needs a bass. The absence is killing me.
#10
Added solo, it's not that great and some notes are probably out of key but it does the trick IMO.
Quote by naedauuf
I'm in need of a guy
#11
Hmm, this is a very unique song. Never seen a heavy song with a swing like this just added in. It adds a lot of variety though, all the part. Sorry for the not very detailed crit, but I can't figure out what to say about the song. I think the drums need a bit of work. But this song is very interesting. At 153 or so, when the big blank parts, I'd recommend putting a drum or guitar fill for the blanks. I enjoy the tempo changes in the song, they fit,

Mini solo sounded really good, simple but epic. Random acoustic break made me go o_O, I'd expect an interlude but it went back into that riff.
#12
Thanks for the crit on mine. Pretty original stuff man. The swing feel is different and nice. I don't really like the intro though. It's just not to my taste really. The following riffs are pretty cool, especially with the swing. Not much to complain about here really, I don't like the breakdown that starts at roughly 152. It's just a bit boring really. It flows into the section at 192 nicely though. The solo seems pretty out of place though and it doesn't sound great. The acoustic fill was a bit odd. I don't think you really needed to go back to the main riff. To be honest I think you should get rid of the section with the solo, work on the breakdown and come up with a better final section to have a good end for the song. Just my personal opinion, that's all, I'm not saying you have to listen to me, just my thoughts.
#13
Checking out the solo. Btw, try panning the tracks, it gives them breathing room. Or else everything is in the middle and it sounds claustrophobic. Pan the rhythms left and right, solo in the middle. General background stuff like synth would also be in the middle.

Anyways, checking out the track now.

I like the drum fill you put in part 108. I see you heeded my advice about the cymbals in that section. Btw, bar 171's drums should be a bit more aligned to the rhythm, you use that bar again in bar 175 but it's the fourth bar, the end, of the riff so the tension is max and the drums work there. Bar 171 however, the riff is just starting. So you might wanna fix that.

Really like your solo, synth is pretty good too, though a bit too loud but that's not too big a problem and not too hard to fix either.

Dude, the song is pretty sweet, all it needs now is the bass. Btw, you should totally shove in an epic drum fill in bar 274 and then do a crash+bass and a power chord on 278... I don't know why but I heard that in my head haha. Anyways, besides the minor things I pointed out here, you've got one hell of a track!
#14
the song is quite good overall...the intro chord like others have said is kind of funky in a bad sort of way...not too big a deal...its also a little fast at times to even hear whats playing what cuz its so fast but that might just be me lol not quite my style but a beast of a song 4/5