#1
My first complete song after a while. It's kinda unsorted, I guess. The intro is neoclassic (Paganini), the verses and choruses are groovy and the interludes are melodic, so I really think melodic metal is the best desciption. I'll soon start working on the lyrics, for now only the music is complete.
C&C as allways.
Attachments:
Project 4.gp5
#2
It's got potential. It's pretty driving stuff.

Your lead stuff doesn't stay in one key... Which is a bad thing. Especially the intro and solo, but even during the mini solos in the verses and such, it's just kinda hard on the ear. You've just got to make sure all of your solo notes are consistant with the key you choose. For example, you're really in the key of C the whole time. So you could have your solos in C minor, or in the pyrgian mode. Both of those would work well.

I hope that helps!

C4C (in my sig)
#3
Quote by Sonic Blast
It's got potential. It's pretty driving stuff.

Your lead stuff doesn't stay in one key... Which is a bad thing. Especially the intro and solo, but even during the mini solos in the verses and such, it's just kinda hard on the ear. You've just got to make sure all of your solo notes are consistant with the key you choose. For example, you're really in the key of C the whole time. So you could have your solos in C minor, or in the pyrgian mode. Both of those would work well.

I hope that helps!

C4C (in my sig)

Thx for the advices. I will check your stuff now.
#4
Man, I've checked your stuf - I don't like Intro - you've destroyed Paganini's masterpiece. It sounds horrible Chorus is rip-off from Metallica's "Master Of Puppets" chorus. Interlude is the best part of the song. Verse - Bar 22 is destroyed with the chromatics....

My mark is 5/10.
Sorry
#5
Quote by Tom Araya
Man, I've checked your stuf - I don't like Intro - you've destroyed Paganini's masterpiece. It sounds horrible Chorus is rip-off from Metallica's "Master Of Puppets" chorus. Interlude is the best part of the song. Verse - Bar 22 is destroyed with the chromatics....

My mark is 5/10.
Sorry

Dude, there is no need to apologize. I'm a real stupid amature and I'm just trying to learn to write some good songs. So basicly, thank you for being sincere.
And the chorus. Does it really sound like a rip-off, 'cuz honestly I didn't copy paste it. It just ended up like that, and I added the next three bars just too avoid being it a rip-off. Not very efficently, as I can see. Anyways, thanks man.
#6
Just listen to more music in different styles of metal - and you will learn different riffs, scales, modes and stuff. Keep it up 'n stay true!
#7
Here's my crit

Intro :
good standard intro , allthough the lead was f*cking horrible

verse 1 :
was good though i didnt like the sixteenth note parts

interlude :
was pretty ok , allthough the lead was average

Chorus :
good rhytms mostly , but where is the lead !!?

solo :
Allthough you made use of some good techniques it fails to deliver or set a mood or do anything , it sounds cinda random i quess.

Re-Intro
again irritating lead , and thus making it horrible for me.

overall
its average , but at least it has structure , but the lead doesnt deliver anywhere and sounds blend and boring , allthough it has potential to become good if you add some more parts and change those leads !.

anyway dont feel offended , and remember songwriting is a learning process , be critical to yourself.

anyway can you crit any of my songs ? there in my sig.
#8
The start sounds like a horrible mutiliated 24th caprice intro... 'orribles.
#9
Right off the bat, a lot of sour notes. You can feel the energy from it, but it sounds off.

Tempo Change: It sounded like a nice riff, but no trans in between it which made it feel odd. Then the little headbangin' part, ends a little weird. Like it is nice and thashy, then it gets the tremolo, which isn't a bad idea, but the notes are sour.

I am now hearing the master of puppets part, the first half of it does sound like it, but the second half not so much...

Solo sounded like it needs just a tiny bit of work, but was real close.

Back to the verse now, it's at 94 that I was talking about how it gets weird with the tremolo.


For the outro, it sounded kool how it stopped, then popped back up full force and ended abruptly. Good job on that part.


Crit for crit?


https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=22862000#post22862000
#10
I actually disagree with what everyone's been saying. In my opinion I think this sounds really cool, and the "sour notes" are really just some interesting dissonance to my ears. Maybe it could be improved a bit, but I think it's just plain neat sounding. And even though I don't like it when people quote other pieces in their music, I think what you did to the Caprice is really cool, sounds almost contemporary classical in harmony.

You may or may not know exactly what you're doing harmonically, and it may just be you sticking in random chords, but to my ears it sounds cool. The only thing that sounded off to me was the solo, I agree that should be a bit more consistent. But don't let people tell you that you should stay in the same key the whole piece. Modulation is something missing in most rock music, though you shouldn't have two keys clashing on top of each other, which is what I think they are trying to say. But to me it sounds like interesting harmony, then again I'm a classicalfag.