#1
this is my first post here, and its just to see what you think of lyrics ive been working on oh I've not got chords or that for it yet b ut its a jangly indie rockish song, so lt me know what you think.....


You think everybody loves you
but you dont know
no you dont know

You think everybody loves you
but you've not seen
what i've seen

You think everybody loves you
but you dont know
what i know
(No you dont!) <shouted


I watch them all pretend
to be your friends till the end
their fake smiles and pretencious laughs,
but then they talk behind your back
(i heard them!) < shouted

You'll never know
cos they wont show
their true colours
to your face
(Of course not!)

You think everybody loves you
but you dont know
no you dont know

You think everybody loves you
but you've not seen
what i've seen

You think everybody loves you
but you dont know
what i know
(No you dont!) <shouted

*This bits slower*

You'll never see
how they want you to be
you think your just to pretty (or clever?)
for their falsities
but then you playthe same game
as them, all the time
Is it just to mess up my mind?
(I dont know!)
(i dont know, i dont know, i dont know anymore!)

Oh oh oh oh oh

You think everybody loves you
but you dont know
no you dont know

You think everybody loves you
but you've not seen
what i've seen

You think everybody loves you
but you dont know
what i know
(No you dont!)

*quietly again*
and neither do i, neither do i, neither do i, no i dont....


thats it what dyou folks think?

G.
#3
Quote by Equivalence
I think it was packed with clichés, which isn't necessarily a bad thing but I don't like it, especially the shouted parts.
But it could work.


Haha yeah i see where your coming from like anytips on how to change it? or dyou think is hould leave it, and make it and indie pop song? or try and go for something different altogether? thanks anyway

G.