#1
It's in my profile
This is a song I've been working on, I recorded all the instruments and vocals except for the acoustic and second verse/2nd part of the bridge vocals (I'm the main one singing with the higher/grainier voice who isn't very good haha)

Lyrics:
Summer sucked 'cause it's just my luck
To watch all my dreams go on a moving truck
They were lost in transition and the price of admission
Was more I could take under all this friction

[Chorus]
I know that your up there you just don't make that very clear
I know that, that you care, your just never down here
When I need you most my faith is gone
I'm like the atheist who believes in God

Fall wasn't much better with empty love letters
I tried to believe that I never met her
With my self esteem, my pride, my dreams
I went to be crushed along with everything

[Chorus]

Don't you leave until we count all our scars
Maybe then we'll now who we are
Maybe we'll find some so deep we can see all the dreams in them
Maybe we'll find some so deep we can store happiness in them
And then I'll be home

[Sinking Ship With Sharks Reprise (have to wait after it ends)]
From the moment she told you
You were perfect you should of knew
That it's all downhill

From the moment you left there
Should of knew that no one cares
And it's all downhill

All alone on a sinking ship with sharks
Made of stone but they can still breath in the dark
Ocean

I would love any comments, crits, or suggestions

And I love listening to new stuff so C4C all the way!!
Last edited by rockfan7 at Dec 27, 2009,
#2
hey you're not really my thing, but i think was a well worked out track. i just wish i could get a great recording of my cause we seem to get lost on our practice recordings. looks like i'll stumping up the £400 for a proper demo.
good track dude keep it up.
#3
first off, lower your volume! The tracks are distorted, it greatly lowers your quality. Your vocals arent bad, but at some parts you seem like your trying to be quiet. THe more air you push out the more strength youll have. THat just means more accurate notes. The song is pretty good. seems like a solid alt song. once again please lower the volume of your tracks as their distorted. Ending was a tad weird, but this is alt rock. solid over all job.
c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1251697
#4
Hey!

Thanks alot for the critique

It's not really my kind of music, but i'll try to give you a good critique.

As the guys above said, some tracks are to high. You seem confident in your voicing, that's good, but some parts sound "out of scale".

The chord progression is good.

Some parts reminds me of muse, but I actually don't know a lot about today's rock bands :p

It's a bit long for me :p

Anyway thanks for the critique again.
#5
structurally this was really cool and melodic, and i liked it a lot...but the mix is pretty horrific, haha. if you quieted down the individual tracks a bit on the chorus, and kept the vocals and distorted guitar from clipping i think this would be ten times better. some reverb on the vocals during the verse might help too.

i can really tell you have a great ear for melody but it would come out even more if you could fix up the production.

check mine out if you get a chance?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1252476
#6
Yeah I did this with headphones on the entire time so I guess I didn't hear that, I'm working on that now, I also did this with garageband and I just got logic so I'll work on it now. I'm going to yours now flame843 (awesome avatar btw)
#7
the mixing was done quite beautifully... I cant say much cos Its not really a technical demanding song.... on the vocal side... Im not a qualified person to comment on it.. But I think it fits well with the lyrics....

keep it up...

crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1239070
#8
Hmmm everyone else seem to dislike the mix, I've fixed it up a bit I'll re-post it.
#9
pretty much what flame843 said, the melody and instrumentation is amazing! The mix just needs some work mainly in the vocal section because it was distorting pretty badly. The only other thing that could use some work was the background vocals around 3:30, i felt like they were a little flat or something. Great job keep it up!
#10
Yeah I've just started mixing/production this year so I've been trying but still not much luck, I've improved but not great yet.

And yeah I don't know what was up with the back ups at 3:30 the auto-tune even didn't help with them haha