#1
Another new one for you guys. The creative juices have been flowing strong lately and I finished this one in just two days. It's the eighth song in the concept and it's probably the heaviest and most riff oriented, being inspired mostly by Pagan's Mind and Pain of Salvation and maybe some old-school Dream Theater.

I had some concerns with the flow of the song. Does it flow well enough? Are some parts too rushed? Are some parts too repetitive?

As always be tough and detailed. The more you write, the more I write back.
The track that leads into this one can be found here under Concept song 7
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1248991
C4C
Thanks.
Attachments:
Concept song 8.zip
Last edited by Progbass92 at Dec 28, 2009,
#2
The beginning had me skeptical. It was ok, but nothing spectacular [to my ears at least]. Reminded me of Pain of Salvation. But the first riff was excellent.

However, I was not too happy with the pre verse. It seemed a bit sudden to me, coming from the other riff. I think it needs a bit more of a transition. I liked the more riffy bit of that part though. That part is much better than the hammer on pull off sequence before it.

Verse 1 is thoroughly excellent.

Then the bridge, while flowing with it is just weird. I think its the weird organ. That doesnt fit at all. I think piano would be better, or no piano/organ at all.

The chorus, as with verse 1 is thoroughly brilliant. I dont even think a bridge would be necessary to get to the chorus. The post chorus and pre verse were also well done. Not fantastic, but good. I liked how you got back to the verse. Good job coming back to a good part. The variation when the guitars come in with the lead is excellent as well.

The next bridge is much better than the first one. But again, I am not entirely sure the bridge is necessary to get to the chorus.

The breakdown was ok. Pretty boring to my ears though. It's better when the sawtooth comes in. I think the guitar solo needs to be louder. Its good and fits whats going on, but it gets lost in all the chugging/keys a bit. Again, not a fan of that bridge. The organ just completely ruins it. I think it'd be better using the second bridge that you used.

I liked the outro as well. Good, simple way to end it. Interestingly enough, that bit from the next track was probably one of my favorite bits in this piece.

Overall good song. Really, really good, if you get rid of that one bridge with the organ that just didnt work for me.

C4C [first one in my sig]?
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It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#3
Okay, The first riff literally sounds EXACTLY like the beginning of Rope Ends from POS. Just Saying.
My Old Progressive Metal Band:
Acrasia
For fans of Between The Buried and Me, Dream Theater, Cynic.

My New Progressive Rock/Djent Band:
Wings Denied
For fans of Deftones, Tesseract, Periphery, Karnivool, Cynic.
#4
@silhouettica: The ideas are similar, yes but I made sure that it wasn't a ripoff. If you compare you'll see that the rhythms and chord progressions are way different from each other in those parts.
#5
Wow.

First I'd say I don't like prog. This one was pretty awesome though - both verses and chorus have great progressions and melodies, drums and time signature aren't annoying as they're usually in such music, imo. Although it has a lot of them, the whole song has some flow that is important and doesn't seem to be forced. I didn't like the intro riff, but after breakdown (xD for the marker.) i got used to it and it was ok. The solo is not my cup of tea, but it worked fine. I think the breakdown would sound much better without the piano, but it's just me. Also the bridge 62-65 wasn't a strong part. It sounds like this particular riff doesn't fit anywhere here - you used it a couple of times and everywhere it was some, well, crap.

C4C?
Last edited by Gwrhkhsh at Dec 29, 2009,
#6
I liked the intro, keyboards kicked ass, but the guitars were really strange, the picking was strange. From compass 17 forward the guitars get much better, great riff, very cool. I liked the Pre-Verse too, no complains there. The verse was pretty nice too, keyboards made everything cooler, though I think the Bridge part wasn't necessary. It breaks the mood of the song, I didn't like it. The chorus was good, but again you used the Intro structure on the Post Chorus, which made is sound strange. The soloing on Verse 2 was good, well made. The Bridge 2 sounded better, and its connection with the Chorus too. Guitar solo was good too, liked the outro too. Now that Next Track was f***kin' awesome, man! It will be really good to hear song with that.

Crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1251751