#1
I've written 2 songs now, a punk song, and an acoustic sort of chill song. I'm getting my points across fine with a little rhyming here and there but none of the lyrics flow very well. The lyrics obviously mean something to me but when I play it, it just sounds choppy. I can't really think of many topics to write about either. Open for any and all constructive criticism.
#2
No recordings? Hard to give constructive criticism without anything to base it on...........
#3
I can have them up by tomorrow. I can put up some lyrics along with it as well. They're sort of corny and obvious, but I gotta start somewhere.
#4
Quote by Ziggy of Mars
I can have them up by tomorrow. I can put up some lyrics along with it as well. They're sort of corny and obvious, but I gotta start somewhere.


It's hard to get a feel for the problem from your description. Are you using a set meter, do you know how to write in meter and what kind of meters work for these songs?

Or are you forcing words into a specific meter and so the syntax of the actual sentences are getting all weird and unnatural?

I'm betting it's one of those or the other. Let us know and we can pan out more advice.
#5
Its definitely that, because I have no clue how to write how to write in meter. I'm not really a true musician, I can't read music or know many techniques for writing it. I'm just a self taught kid who learned a bunch of chords and cover songs,but can't put them together very well on my own. I just find things to write about either. Lyrics will be up tonight.
#6
Quote by Ziggy of Mars
Its definitely that, because I have no clue how to write how to write in meter. I'm not really a true musician, I can't read music or know many techniques for writing it. I'm just a self taught kid who learned a bunch of chords and cover songs,but can't put them together very well on my own. I just find things to write about either. Lyrics will be up tonight.



look up the basics:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meter_(poetry)

Try writing some 4/4 time pieces in this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ballad_stanza

Despite the wiki description, feel free to use four full feet in the second and fourth lines if you want, also feel free to rhyme those lines so that you have alternating rhyme.

If you write tightly in that form for a month or so then gradually modify and step outside of it more and more, you'll magically find yourself with a good sense of lyrical rhythm. I'm serious, nothing works better for a beginner looking for lyrical "flow."
#7
that looks like it will really help me out. I'll put up some lyrics and maybe a recording along with it up tonight, critique it if you can.
#8
Here are the lyrics to my first song. I tried to record it on my mp3 player and onto this website but it said I couldn't do it. Its corny. but I'm just looking for some advice

Just like that I had you,
Wondered where you'd been.
All this time I sit and wait,
This was my biggest sin.

My heart says I need you,
My head says I don't.
Do I even love you?
I know you always won't.

In a flash the lights go dim,
In that moment, my heart dives in.

Just like that I reel you in
Just like that you're gone
Finally realized I couldn't win
cause the lightswitch never flipped on

I alway sit there troubled
Always asking you
Picturing my life by myself
Never could picture it with you.

Just like that I reel you in
Just like that you're gone
Finally realized I couldn't win
cause the lightswitch never flipped on.