#1
Hello everyone,

This is my second song here on Ultimate Guitar. I started this song a while ago, but came back to it two days ago and finished it. I don't really know how to classify this song, but I guess soft prog metal fits, 'cause there are more softer sections than you're typical prog metal song. Don't expect Dream Theater here though, it's something completely different

There are supposed to be vocals, but I haven't written any vocal lines/lyrics yet. I'm not a drummer, nor do I play keyboards. The keyboard/piano parts are there for extra textures and layering and not for UBERIMBAMOTHAF*CKINGSOLOING. I think this song has some of my best computer drum work though, but I guess it's not nearly as good as the drum work of some other songs here on the forums, but in my opinion they are fitting. Tell me what you think ^^

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you listen to this song with RSE ON. It doesn't sound nearly as good in midi. If you don't have RSE or GP5 listen to the song in the GP4 version, 'cause that one has the volumes optimized for midi (still don't like it very much though). So if you're listening in midi, please mention it when you crit
I'll try to crit back as fast as I can
Attachments:
My Sweet Lullaby.zip
Last edited by Gravekeeper at Dec 30, 2009,
#2
Wow, This has an amazing Intro. It's a great build up. The slow verse is really nice and so is the Pre-chorus. Your Chorus is beautiful man, the strings are a great idea and it's great sounding. I love the volume swells during the verse, and the piano slowly fading in. The "What's This?!" section sounded very BTBAM-ish, that's a compliment. The Dissonant piece actually fits in really well and adds a chaotic feel to that part of the song. The Strings in the interlude are really good, they really compliment the guitars and make this section feel rather ethereal.

The post-interlude was a bit predictable but that's fine. The Chorus is cool and I like the piano. There's not much to say about all of this section; the bass is very complimentary and the guitar is great too.

Interlude II is great, I'd say the drums are fine, they weren't crazy but they weren't shit. I was a bit disappointed when interlude II finished, as while I was listening it started to build up I got excited expecting a great solo.

The return to the Pre-Chorus & Chorus was a great idea and gave me back my faith in your song. The song fades out with the intro and then settles on some nice chords.

9/10

earn that 10 with a solo or keep it how it is, whatever you do should turn out great .

return crit link is in my signature, thanks man.
#4
pretty awesome stuff you got here man. Love the intro, good usage of 17/16, I never hear people using 17/16 because it sounds so awkward most of the time, but you pulled it off pretty well. Loved how you built the drums, and that piano melody was sexy!

I was a little disappointed though when the slow verse came in. It built up so nicely and then it just cut out to the softer part. I think you should throw a more high energy riff in after the buildup, play it for a bit and then cut out to the soft verse, I think it'd sound a lot better that way, but that's just me. That being said, I was really diggin the verse, it had great atmosphere and built up wonderfully to the pre-chorus.

Pre-chorus was good, but I didn't like how there really wasn't a steady beat throughout it. You should bring in some more upbeat drums at measure 55, I think that'd transition even more nicely into the 9/8 part then to the chorus.

Chorus was awesome, loved the strings coming in at measure 64, it makes everything sound so much more dramatic.

Distortion verse=perfect, nothing more to say there! What's this?! was cool, I liked the underlying dissonant chords. It transitioned well into the dissonant break.

Dissonant break holy crapola, that was awesome! loved the usage of 11/8 and the double bass, brilliant! Interlude was a nice happy contrast to the rest of the song, good use of major mode there.

Solo was ok, nothing amazing, but I know how much of a pain it can be to tab out solos in GP, so yeah, I'm sure if this were recorded the solo would be much better. Post-interlude, prechorus II, chorus II and post-chorus II were all great, I'm sure with the right vocals, this would sound killer. I think it'd also be really cool to have a piano solo somewhere in there; maybe after post-chorus II, over the chorus II progression.

Loved interlude II, I was glad to see that little melody come back in from the intro on guitar. Awesome bass work here too. Flowed nicely back into the pre-chorus and chorus. The acoustic outro was a nice way to end the song.

Overall this is a pretty awesome piece you got here man, it just needs some minor tweaks here and there, but otherwise, it's pretty damn good.