#1
Tell us all the funniest thing thats ever happened to you, im a boring person, so i dont have anything.
cig
#6
i died
The Bloodbath Burlesque Orchestra
Quote by phoenix_crush
Deluxe Skull Mace w/ Custom Sheath & Dagger

found that in the self defense section, y'know in case you need to defend yourself from a ****in orc


Are You a PROG-HEAD? I am.
#8
My uncles print factory he started renting out when he retired was being used as a cannabis factory without him knowing until a couple of weeks ago, not exactly me but was funny nevertheless.
#10
Quote by wizards?
I got cancer once. Pretty damn funny seeing as I was born in early July.




I've seen funny stuff happen to other people.

Saw a kid running late for class in high school and he ran past a pile of vomit. He then proceeded to slip and continue sliding towards the exit stairway. He flew down 10 steps at a speed capable of denting a motor vehicle and smashed into a brick wall covered in vomit.

Did I go to help the poor fellow in his hour of need?

**** no. I laughed all the way to the bank and hope every day of my life that I never experience something that embarrassing.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#11
Quote by chaoticfables
You did not.

It wasn't fun .

Quote by Nelsean


I've seen funny stuff happen to other people.

Saw a kid running late for class in high school and he ran past a pile of vomit. He then proceeded to slip and continue sliding towards the exit stairway. He flew down 10 steps at a speed capable of denting a motor vehicle and smashed into a brick wall covered in vomit.

Did I go to help the poor fellow in his hour of need?

**** no. I laughed all the way to the bank and hope every day of my life that I never experience something that embarrassing.


Hey, I was really hurt!
ಥ_ಥ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ೃ ·ಏ· ಢ_ಢ


E-Married to the sexy DarkConcertine


and Jon777 .


Last edited by mcjosh at Dec 30, 2009,
#14
I was playing for a band I was once in, playing bass, when suddenly the callous on one of my fingers split, and the impact of my finger against the string splashed it across the white pickguard, and coated the strings in blood.

I mean, really, bass?
Quote by Les_Frederiksen
PlayMadness, you give me hope for mankind.

Quote by Darksucker
PlayMadness - Jesus 2.0

Quote by genghisgandhi
Society's doing great. There's a rise of people like PlayMadness. I feel pretty good about the way things are going.
#15
So new years day, last year me and three of my friends went to perkins for lunch. I had a burger and a salad which was a mistake because the burger did not go down very well as I was hungover.

So I got to the bathroom because I'm not feeling good and at the stall they had on of those toilets with a sensor on the wall so you don't actually flush it. Problem is the damn thing went off as soon as I walked into the stall. It really freaked me out.
So I was gonna throw up, but instead I ended up taking a dump and when I finished I had some troubles getting the toilet to flush. But in the end I got it.

Five minutes later is when it hit me. This time I REALLY had to throw up. So I rushed to the bathroom stall again (this time it did not flush, so I worried a little bit). I ended up throwing up in the toilet and also taking a dump. After finished cleaning I get up and try to get the toilet to flush. BUT IT WOULDN'T FLUSH. I tried everything from sitting down and standing back up 5 times, walking in and out of the stall. but nothing. So after about 5 minutes I gave up and left to go pay. It was REALLY messy inside of that toilet, I wouldnt want to be the next person to walk in there...


Moral of the story: Don't eat a greasy mushroom/bacon burger when you're hungover.
sim simma

who got the keys to my beema
#16
I had a deer break into my house and had to beat it with a broom...

I watched a cheerleader fall off a pyramid thing at a football game and land on her face...Literally, she didn't get a hand up or anything, just right in the face. The whole place went silent except for the student section was roaring with laughter.....
MIM Tele
Fender Blues Jr NOS
Schecter Omen 6
Squier Strat
Greg Bennett Acoustic
other crap...
If seeing is believing...

...Then believe that we have lost our eyes!!
#17
Quote by MangoStarr
So new years day, last year me and three of my friends went to perkins for lunch. I had a burger and a salad which was a mistake because the burger did not go down very well as I was hungover.

So I got to the bathroom because I'm not feeling good and at the stall they had on of those toilets with a sensor on the wall so you don't actually flush it. Problem is the damn thing went off as soon as I walked into the stall. It really freaked me out.
So I was gonna throw up, but instead I ended up taking a dump and when I finished I had some troubles getting the toilet to flush. But in the end I got it.

Five minutes later is when it hit me. This time I REALLY had to throw up. So I rushed to the bathroom stall again (this time it did not flush, so I worried a little bit). I ended up throwing up in the toilet and also taking a dump. After finished cleaning I get up and try to get the toilet to flush. BUT IT WOULDN'T FLUSH. I tried everything from sitting down and standing back up 5 times, walking in and out of the stall. but nothing. So after about 5 minutes I gave up and left to go pay. It was REALLY messy inside of that toilet, I wouldnt want to be the next person to walk in there...


Moral of the story: Don't eat a greasy mushroom/bacon burger when you're hungover.



this actually made me lol.
#18
This thread won't last.

On topic, i ripped my pants putting my feet behind my legs. It doesn't work in tight-ish pants I guess
I HAVE RETURNED
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Quote by metalkickTM
migueltherocker: The retarded unicorn-fish of the sea

Quote by ShredHead396



Dude, that was just pure win, i laughed the entire way

first stack ^
#19
Quote by migueltherocker
This thread won't last.

On topic, i ripped my pants putting my feet behind my legs. It doesn't work in tight-ish pants I guess



Why not?!
cig
#20
The drink was Vodka and lemonade.. lots of it.

Me and a few friends wound up at a restaurant that one of my other close friends worked at, so we ordered our food and began the long wait for it to arrive. Well, as soon as it does my friend across from be gets up and bolts to the washroom, sadly he doesn't make it and pukes all over the door, and the floor.

We got his food to go, paid for his meal, them grabbed him away from the door he was trying to clean with napkins.

My friend working had a great day cleaning up puke
Quote by 20cdndollars
You are god, floppypick



Floppydick


If that's how you read my name, leave a message saying so on my profile
#21
I once at 3 pizzas in one sitting & then threw up all over a teacher. It was worth it, just for the look on her face. It was pure fucking gold!
#22
Quote by jld8111
Why not?!

Spam. There's already a bit of it on the front page.
I HAVE RETURNED
Twitter
Quote by metalkickTM
migueltherocker: The retarded unicorn-fish of the sea

Quote by ShredHead396



Dude, that was just pure win, i laughed the entire way

first stack ^
#23
Or what about the drunk time at macdonalls when we were all really full and still had a burger left each so we took them apart and started throwing them at the walls. eventually fries made it to the floor, drink spilled on the table. ketchup everywhere... and the to-go bags on fire :O good times..

I have a picture of it, but can't find it
sim simma

who got the keys to my beema
#24
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
I once at 3 pizzas in one sitting & then threw up all over a teacher. It was worth it, just for the look on her face. It was pure fucking gold!

Sweet Jesus... 3 Pizzas??
#25
Dammit this is stories about ourselves

Well, one time while playing cops n robbers I jumped a fence and bashed my head off a shed. it was bleedin something fierce.

I got my head glued at the hospital.

That's not really funny... sry guise.
Quote by 20cdndollars
You are god, floppypick



Floppydick


If that's how you read my name, leave a message saying so on my profile
#26
Quote by enselmis
So I herd u didn liek forming babby but I accidentally in your base.

/THREAD


fail.
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I had a dream about your avatar once, so yes of course.

Quote by Bladez22


every time i see that twirling electrode avatar of yours I know that the post is worth reading or the link is worth clicking


#27
Quote by floppypick
Dammit this is stories about ourselves

Well, one time while playing cops n robbers I jumped a fence and bashed my head off a shed. it was bleedin something fierce.

I got my head glued at the hospital.


That's not really funny... sry guise.

sim simma

who got the keys to my beema
#28
Quote by MangoStarr


Thats nothing, they duct taped my thumb back to my left hand.
#30
Quote by Nelsean


I've seen funny stuff happen to other people.

Saw a kid running late for class in high school and he ran past a pile of vomit. He then proceeded to slip and continue sliding towards the exit stairway. He flew down 10 steps at a speed capable of denting a motor vehicle and smashed into a brick wall covered in vomit.

Did I go to help the poor fellow in his hour of need?

**** no. I laughed all the way to the bank and hope every day of my life that I never experience something that embarrassing.



you made my day.
My Rig:
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Peavey Millenium BXP bass (won at Summer Slaughter 2010, signed by all the bands)
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Check out Tyrannicide, my death/thrash metal band:
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#31
idk if this can be classed as funny, but one time i was jumping a fence that led back out onto a street. the jeans were fairly loose and got caught on the top of the fence, causing me to stumble wildly for about 5 feet. in the middle of my stumble, i slipped on some dog shit and i hit my head on a nearby basketball goal pole. after hitting my head i started to fall back and fell into the fence and scraped up my back pretty bad.

i was embarrassed, but looking back it was a pretty ridiculous sequence of events.
#32
I fell UP the stairs then fell back down the entire flight of stairs and went to the nurse because i was bleeding and hurting etc she gave me a bandaid and a mint (not for bad breath just because shes an idiot) and told me to go to class
Music is my refuge.
I can crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.


#33
Quote by PlayMadness
I was playing for a band I was once in, playing bass, when suddenly the callous on one of my fingers split, and the impact of my finger against the string splashed it across the white pickguard, and coated the strings in blood.

I mean, really, bass?


That's metal.

And kinda funny. And gruesome.
#34
Quote by JacobTheMe
Thats nothing, they duct taped my thumb back to my left hand.

At the hospital? We use duct tape to fix cuts at my high school's stage crew, but at a hospital?
Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
The grandmother is having a baby with her grandson, so the grandson will be his own fathers father, the baby will be his own grandfather, and grandson, and the grandmother will be the mother, and great grandmother?

Quote by TheBurningFish
ಠ_ಠ
#35
Funny stuff usually never happens to me, but I'm usually the one doing the funny stuff. I was in my truck with my girl at a stop light one day, and these punk middle schoolers on BMX bikes pull up behind my truck. Now, their in the middle of the road on BMX bikes, not smart idea for them. So I told my girl next to me to watch this, and when the light turned green I white smoked the tires and took off. I can still remember the expression on their faces, completely stunned. Great times.
#36
I once went bowling, and when i was meant to let go of the ball and let it roll down the isle, I accidentally flung the ball straight up and it hit the roof.

The people working there didnt care, but they were laughing at me

lol
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Coco-Loco is the finest bit of meat on the butcher block.
#37
Me and a friend once went for a high-five, and accidentally slapped each other in the face.


We never spoke of that moment again....
#38
So I'm sitting there calculating the measurements of an isosceles triangle in geometry. Then the steak I had last night emerged from my white ass and slithered down my leg. Trying not to make a scene I ask the teacher if I could go to the restroom.At first, she denied but I guess she then got a wiff of just happened. I frantically go the stall sit down, rip off my boxers and immediately shove them down the toilet and flush. But no, it clogs. Cursing loudly I try to clean up my legs so they're not **** covered. I get most off, but its already sunk into my skin and dried. I do the best I can, but still leave a big mess that I'm sure the Custodians love me. I go back to class and sit through it, knowing that the aroma is still coming from my ass. Embarrassing, but I'm sure you guys can find humor in it.
DON'T HIRE RON WILSON
#39
Quote by suckmahnuts
So I'm sitting there calculating the measurements of an isosceles triangle in geometry. Then the steak I had last night emerged from my white ass and slithered down my leg. Trying not to make a scene I ask the teacher if I could go to the restroom.At first, she denied but I guess she then got a wiff of just happened. I frantically go the stall sit down, rip off my boxers and immediately shove them down the toilet and flush. But no, it clogs. Cursing loudly I try to clean up my legs so they're not **** covered. I get most off, but its already sunk into my skin and dried. I do the best I can, but still leave a big mess that I'm sure the Custodians love me. I go back to class and sit through it, knowing that the aroma is still coming from my ass. Embarrassing, but I'm sure you guys can find humor in it.

Holy shit.

I shat bricks. ..............lul bricks

cig