#1
I couldn't believe, I shouldn't conceive
What makes you mine, it's all just fine
I'll rip it out, I hate all the doubt
I'll wake up in bed, I'll wish I was dead
I knew that you bled, I cut you instead


[I hope the days go by
I knew it was hard to be my friend
I knew it was all just so you could pretend
I hope that it's easier today, I hope it's gonna be okay]

I'll lie on the floor, you'll walk out the door
You know that you're right, you know that you're wrong
I'd like to say that you're a very nice song
But the truth remains, that I wish you'd stay
I wish we'd lay, I wish they'd all go away

[chorus]

I loved when you talked, my mind's like a rock
I tried too much, what I said and such
You loved to hear, all of my fears
My memory's blank, I know who to thank
I know why I sank, like a fish in a tank

[chorus]

Cut me and lie again
Cut me and lie again
Cut me and lie again
Cut you and lie again----

Am I Stuck in the vasoline-----
We're Stuck in the vasoline----
#2
I'm sorry, I couldn't get past the first stanza. The rhyming is nauseatingly forced, and it completely kills anything you could have been working towards.

I say it to almost everyone I ever comment on: your song doesn't have to rhyme.

It was the only task I would undertake...

I P R O G
...to reap the harvest that was mine


- [ P R O G - H E A D ? ] -
#4
Meh. My friend wrote it and asked to put it on here. He listens to a lot of 90s music like Nirvana, Bush, etc. Now that I think about it, it kinda resembles that song "Glycerine"(I am also a fan of 90s music but prefer metal over grunge, alt rock, etc.)

So I mean give him a break. His influences are 90s bands and god knows a lot of those bands have crap lyrics. But idk. I don't think it seems forced. With the right riff it could be good. But again, influence from bands like Bush, Nirvana, etc. doesn't equal good lyrics. But as I said: look at their songs the lyrics suck(sometimes) but they're great songs. I guess all i'm trying to say is that if he could write a good riff to it, it'd so decent.