This is the first song I've ever attempted at finishing. It's in the vein of Defeated Sanity I guess, but I just sat down and wrote some riffs and it worked out afaik.

Its "setup" is pretty simple, I'm not great at structuring songs though. That's what I'd like to get some commentary on. Also the riffing itself.

The Gp5 sounds a bit odd and "off", if you will, here and there, but when I play it myself it sounds just dandy and brutal.

Tell me what you think!

Edit: Uploaded one with bass.
Last edited by Eryth at Jan 2, 2010,
Some fun simple death.. I really like the 12/8 feel of the introriff, but I think you should add something to it to make it more interesting.. I don't think the introduction is that good, and repeating it isn't that good idea to me either.. Maybe put it in the very beginning and make some variation instead of playing it again.

The change to 4/4 is cool, but I think the riff is pretty meh, especially the first bar.

The blast riff is pretty cool

The changing between 4/4 and 5/4 is really cool, I love stuff like that in brutal death, but do something about the drums, it would help it I think

Also, make some kind of outro..

By the way, this isn't really like Defeated Sanity.. Thier song structures are all over the place, yours is pretty simple. But overall fun, and enjoyable.. With some work it would be a nice piece of death metal I think

Crit my cheesy tech death jokes? Part 4 in my sig preferably
Yeah I thought the intro was a tad too long. That riff is actually the first riff I ever wrote on the guitar, about a year ago or something :P

I kinda liked the drums with the 4/4 - 5/4 timing riffs actually, with EZdrummer they sound better than the Gp5.

Other than that, thanks for the critique, I'm gonna work on this one!

Oh and I k now it's not like DF, I really just wanted some kind of comparison. I have no idea who this soudns like
Last edited by Eryth at Jan 2, 2010,
I forgot about Defeated Sanity.
This has more a Suffocation edge, but I really don't listen to them that often. Or at all.

Anyways, not a bad song. It's simple structure helps quite a bit, and it would definitely benefit from being recorded live.
As a TAB song, it hurts it, but that's because you can't trooly capture the power of metal on GP.
The intro riff is cool but it got a bit repetitive. Though I must say, in terms of just having fun with simplistic death metal, this is pretty enjoyable. Your tempo change was nice too but again, too repetitive. I liked the bar 27-30 riff, and the one that came after. The transitions there were nice and the repetitions were enough to enjoy the riff but not so many as to bore the listener. I would say that you have some nice riffs here and if you could come up with some more and arrange them properly, this would be sweet.

I'd keep the intro as a chorus and intro. And bar 27-30 as verse and bar 31-34 as verse pt 2 or prechorus or something. Structure, that's what this needs. Riff wise, as I said, enjoyable. Just keep the repetitions down a bit and you'll be fine. C4C? Techdeth song in my sig.
Thanks for the crit! I did yours. I'm working hard on an actual structure of this song, and it's going well... and the song appears to not be finished quite yet. I'll post it again when it's done.

Meanwhile, keep the critiques coming!