#1


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This thread is not only for the piece I've written (which will be a story in the comic) and for questions about our comic.

enjoy;

Gestures

The world exists in gestures.
All encompassing gestures from
a torrential rainfall to that of holding a loved one's hand.
The gestures of a dancer imitating a swan,
the hands of a painter capturing the pain of death.
The tongue of a polition that spreads and speaks of hope.
The smallest movements that are barely even
in the definition of existing.
The pause before a kiss or the inability to control your car
as the tires skid on black ice.
The face one makes in a hospital waiting room,
the stretch of the sleepy, the grasp of the lustful.
The gestures of humanity that move through every muscle
and every pore, ones that are experienced in every way,
visually and aurually.
A star falls,
a tree falls,
a mother gives birth, a plane is crashed into a building,
a writer sitting and waiting for inspiration,
another anonymous reader turns a page,
every single action and
response is a simple gesture of
beauty, pain, happiness...hope.
A gesture for help, to reconcile with
someone that cares,
to move one's eyes in a way that says,
"I love you more than any creature."

The gesture of the eyes that don't
share the same feelings, the way a hand moves
to a face to calm them, to wipe away one's emotions.
A gesture to cleanse, a gesture of honest regret.
The kiss after one's laid their heart on the floor,
the bond of sex and the tearing apart when one leaves after.
The look on a small child when their favorite pet
is found dead in the yard without explanation.
I fear and love these gestures,
I am bitter and alone, resentful
and yet so much in awe of the beauty of these gestures.

I would give myself to the world,
and the weight of it's breadth,
I would give myself to the unpredictability
of the universe and the hope that
something exists after we die.
I can not though, because
I can only make small gestures
in its general direction.
www.facebook.com/longlostcomic
Last edited by Something_Vague at Jan 2, 2010,
#2
This begging to be part of a short story of some kind. Seriously.

EDIT: As in, in a piece of prose, not the referring to the comic you link to.
Last edited by michal23 at Jan 2, 2010,
#3
I don't have time right now but this was moving to say the least.

just wanted to say something with the quotation marks wasn't lining up I think in these parts.

'I love you more than any creature."

and yet so much in awe of the beauty of these gestures."
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
#5
I agree to an extent that this was "fluffy" or some other form of fluffy, but I felt like something like this needed to be and it was acceptable to a certain degree. It may be trying too hard to be eloquent or something like that, but it didn't detract too much from the writing and if this was written to accompany pictures then I think it needs to be like that at least a little.

Looking forward to seeing more comics.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#6
This piece is definitely "cute" and a little dramatic, but i don't think that's a bad thing.

The first stanza was okay, not a chore to read but it didn't enthral me. I think what may have lessened the overall impact of it was how it flitted from one gesture to another so often without giving time to digest it fully. It did however serve it's purpose, it set the basis for what followed.

The second stanza was brilliant, it took the concept of gestures that you developed and tied a number of compelling ones together in a way which was fluid and had a purpose, encapsulating the more human aspect of some of these gestures and their impact. This stanza really clicked for me.

The closing stanza was decent and gave a sense of closure to the piece.

I enjoyed the read and the way in which it was written wasn't taxing, which is always a good thing, as i pointed out i really enjoyed the second stanza and how your brought everything together.