#1
this is something i've been working on for a while. and i did from the bridge tonight, so it's nearly finished. the only thing is i want to add something between the bridge and the ending, but i'm not sure what to do, so i figured i'd post it and see what people thought for now.

C4C can be done, the more you write for me - them more i write for you. capiche?

ignore the title aswell, thats not the name of the song. at the moment it's untitled. but it's titled how it is because an older song of mine is in that tuning.
Attachments:
Myself - Another Song In That Stupid Tuning.gp4
Myself - Another Song In That Stupid Tuning.gp5
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
Last edited by Carl6661 at Jan 7, 2010,
#2
i really like it man. i feel it definitely needs something at the end, maybe a solio section, or an extension/ different verse. but other than that, very good. the piano is very dreamy, and i really like the accompanied guitar with it, doingf the eighth notes under it.

the chorus has potential, with vocals, to be very catchy, and emotional.
i think that's what i like about the song, the emotion. it's very simple, but it just has t hatr emotional power under it.

8/10.
#3
I've been looking forward to another one of your songs for a while now... and boy was it worth the wait.
Really beautiful work man.
Intro and verse are just perfectly layered and emotional.
As metul kult says the chorus has potential to be very emotional, it could be epic as ****.
The drums is the second verse were a nice addition, the slow off beat hi hat stuff worked well.
I thought the bridge worked well but it didnt really go anywhere, it kinda tailed off and lacked epicness.
Maybe build it up back to the chorus but add like huge strings and some high tremolo picked guitar or something? and then go into the ending. I'm not sure to be honest, but the ending didnt do the build up justice.

nice work though, with a bit of fiddling this'll be another carl classic.

C4C?
altghough you did crit one of mine the other day so asking you to crit again is a bit cheeky...
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1256029
#5
I know what you mean about the ending, Frankibo. Listening back I'm not sure on that either. I'll sit up tonight and try to add to the song, mostly trying to get something between an outro and the bridgey bit. If I get anything it'll be updated at tomorrow at somepoint.
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
#6
I agree with everyone else here. Loved the verse/chorus. They're way different, but they work well together. but also like everyone said, the bridge could use a little more work.

There is potential though, I like the chord progression you've got going on in the bridge. A lead part would help a lot I think. Just like a short riff or a solo would add a lot to the bridge. The ending is alright, but I say make the bridge longer/add a lead melody to create some more buildup/make the bridge bigger.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1256279
#7
The file has been updated. Not 100% sure about the ending, but it's alot better than it was and I've added to the song a bit with a clean section and a build up into the last chorus.
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
#9
thanks after a couple of listens it's grown on me to. when i first wrote it, i just chucked it straight up and wasn't sure. but now i feel much better about it.
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
#10
This is really nice man. xD Sounds like something old breaking benjamin would write. :3 I also got a cinematic/video game style feel from certain parts, though I am not sure if that is what you intended. xD I got a little bit of a movie in my head as I listened, (some blonde dude for a singer for some reason. xD) And the band was jammin' on a cliff next to an ocean or something, dunno. It sounded pro too. :P

If there is anyone in here interested, here is some of my stuff:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=22862000#post22862000
#11
Very well layered and organised man. It sounds 'right' - everything in it's place at the right level and panning. I would just say maybe beef up the last chorus with bigger chords of synth, to add an epic feel (like previously said by others).
No need to return a crit as mine was hardly proper anyway.
#12
Wow this is really good. Reminds me of Scary Kids Scaring Kids right off the bat, which in my opinion is awesome. The heavyness kicks in just right and the chord progressions are surpirsingly interesting! Awesome so far. Soft comes back in, I love the whiney thing in the background (too lazy to look). Very nice drums, written extremely well and they match awesomely. Back to the Chorus.. Bridge was cool, but it didn't fit as well as it should I think. Maybe vocals will fix. Clean interlude is SWEET; love it. Build up was meh to be honest, Chorus is solid as stated before. Ending was okay, concluded the song well I guess.

Overall very solid but some chord changes and parts didn't fit all that well, but I guess it makes it a lot less generic! 8.5/10
We can only guffaw at all the humbug we are told about martyrs.