Page 1 of 2
#1
Anyone read through the whole thing without flinching? It takes a real man...


http://chuckpalahniuk.net/features/shorts/guts
Originally Posted by Spachula
So my band recently played our first gig, and it actually went great. There was only one problem though....
My band is pissed at me now for wearing a banana costume while I performed.

#3
way too long, even if i was interested i wouldnt read it properly to be honest lol. lazy reader. whats the jist?
xxx


killing is my business... and business is good
#4
I read that a long time ago in the "horny things you did as a kid" thread (Although I think that in the thread's title, "horny" was spelled "horney").
#5
I read it a few months ago, it was a great story.
Quote by lolmnt
We're better than Mexico cuz we rule USA USA USA
#6
It's pretty gross. Apparently when he would read this out loud to a group of people, some would pass out. I don't really know why they would pass out but it happened enough times.
It was a graveyard smash.
#7
Quote by kwidjibo1
way too long, even if i was interested i wouldnt read it properly to be honest lol. lazy reader. whats the jist?


It's just one of those stories that is supposed to gross you out. I can't really go into detail without getting banned, lol.
Originally Posted by Spachula
So my band recently played our first gig, and it actually went great. There was only one problem though....
My band is pissed at me now for wearing a banana costume while I performed.

#8
Quote by kwidjibo1
way too long, even if i was interested i wouldnt read it properly to be honest lol. lazy reader. whats the jist?


SPOILERS (I guess)


The guy is masturbating in a pool and the filter sucks his intestines out of his ass, then he has to chew through them to escape.


END SPOILERS
#9
Is that the thing where the dude get's his intestines sucked out through his ass via a pool drain, because he liked the feeling of the suction on his ass while jerkin' it?
#10
it's not really even that gross...

and i've never really found Palahniuk to be as great of a writer as he's made out to be.
#11
very old.
"You have brains in your head,
You have feet in your shoes,
You can steer yourself,
any direction you choose,
You're on your own,
And you know what you know,
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go."

- Dr. Seuss
#12
Quote by mental_zer0
and i've never really found Palahniuk to be as great of a writer as he's made out to be.



Blasphemy!

Kill the non-believer!

#13
That was oen ****ed up story back when I read it... :sick:
❝Don't be afraid of death, but of an inadequate life❞
Bertolt Bretcht


#14
Read that, tried some stuff, didn't work.
Quote by MakinLattes
I'd kill you and wear your skin.
Quote by Siv During Livh
To attempt to have intercourse with a hornet's nest is a very bad idea,

Voted UG's worst cross dresser.
Also voted #95 on UG's Top 100 2013. Like it means anything....
#15
Quote by muffinduck01
Read that, tried some stuff, didn't work.

"You have brains in your head,
You have feet in your shoes,
You can steer yourself,
any direction you choose,
You're on your own,
And you know what you know,
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go."

- Dr. Seuss
#16
Quote by muffinduck01
Read that, tried some stuff, didn't work.




...





...





...


#17
Quote by mental_zer0
it's not really even that gross...

and i've never really found Palahniuk to be as great of a writer as he's made out to be.


I dunno, may have been me kinda young. Plus to all the people claiming it was old, sorry. I just saw something that I haven't seen in a long time and I wanted to post.
Originally Posted by Spachula
So my band recently played our first gig, and it actually went great. There was only one problem though....
My band is pissed at me now for wearing a banana costume while I performed.

#18
Theres been easily 5 threads on this in the last 8 months
>>-(ಠ_ಠ-<<
>>-(. Y .)-<<
>>> . (<<<
>>-( Y )-<<
Quote by dudetheman
Dude, your fucking sig creeps me out.

Quote by Kosh H
I just noticed his sig too...I feel uncomfortable now...

Quote by WantsLesPaul
Your sig killed my boner _


DIY SO-CAL PUNK LABEL
#19
You know I read this twice trying to figure the hell out of this...then I realized that when I don't care what I read about, the dyslexia kicks in
#25 for top 100 UGer of 2009
UG's 2nd Funniest UGer and 3rd most likely to be a Serial Killer of 2009, 2nd of 2011
#21
Just from jacking off, I had huge lung capacity. If I had the house to myself, I'd do this all afternoon. After I'd finally pump out my stuff, my sperm, it would hang there in big, fat, milky gobs.


wtf??? i scroll down and this is what i get?
Gotta keep my eyes from the circling skies...
tounge tied and twisted just an earth bound misfit...

>CRYPTIC METAPHOR<


Quote by ilikepirates
ilikeyou.

not hated
#24
Now I know why my kids wont eat carrots.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#25
Ya, like someone said, it is something like 8 pages into the Nightmare Inducement Thread
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1171721&highlight=Nightmare+Inducement


████████████
████████████








RBY CYOA
#27
Quote by __Pent__
SPOILERS (I guess)


The guy is masturbating in a pool and the filter sucks his intestines out of his ass, then he has to chew through them to escape.


END SPOILERS


That's a killer song title.
#28
This makes me scared to take a shit now. What if my toliet starts to suck my butt?
Sail upon the open skies
#30
I'm sad to admit that I laughed throughout that entire story..


EDIT:

The guy above and below me both like to eat calamari, I'm scared..
I think its time to pack your things lets go,
To a place where we both know,
And dont worry, I'll drive real slow,
Spend some time before we go..
Last edited by Wells-Zeppelin at Jan 4, 2010,
#31
Quote by dlguitarmaster7
this made me lol. then i realized how much i love fried calamari

... Hasn't stopped me!!
Quote by MakinLattes
I'd kill you and wear your skin.
Quote by Siv During Livh
To attempt to have intercourse with a hornet's nest is a very bad idea,

Voted UG's worst cross dresser.
Also voted #95 on UG's Top 100 2013. Like it means anything....
#37
I read it and wasn't too amused.

Blah, men.
Got nothin' better to do than to find fucked up ways to masturbate. =P
KatehMonster
Quote by Nilpferdkoenig
Dude, if you were a lesbian asking out another lesbian in a man forum we would be going crazy too.
Quote by zerosystem
just because you're a girl and you get more pussy than me doesn't give you the right to brag.
#38
Quote by breakingxxcore
I read it and wasn't too amused.

Blah, men.
Got nothin' better to do than to find fucked up ways to masturbate. =P

It's just a gross-out story when taken out of context. The novel it appears in is much better.

And don't "blah, men" me. Yeah, we get it. You like chicks. Okay, awesome. I like chicks and dudes, but I don't advertise it in the majority of my posts.

/rant (which is also the title of my favorite Palahniuk novel)
#39
Quote by Holy Katana
It's just a gross-out story when taken out of context. The novel it appears in is much better.

And don't "blah, men" me. Yeah, we get it. You like chicks. Okay, awesome. I like chicks and dudes, but I don't advertise it in the majority of my posts.

/rant (which is also the title of my favorite Palahniuk novel)

You seem to.
Blog Of Awesome UGers.
Quote by OddOneOut
I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#40
I told this to a few friends in school and word got around and people kept asking me to tell them. I enjoyed it
YellowGreenBlueRed


Quote by webbtje
You live in a ruler, the only child of trouser water (?); it's very fantastic, and salami!
Page 1 of 2