#1
Guess it is, but i wanted to have a shot at writing something that isnt usually revolving around blast beats and double bass.

Probably a tadge plain or something, first time at writing emo lyrics too

Either way, please crit and i'll crit back, even if it is belated.

P.S. the name IS an ace ventura quote
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if im not back in 5 minutes... just wait longer.gp5
Last edited by liam1107 at Jan 4, 2010,
#3
Agreed.
Great start. And I'm glad you didn't make the stupid 0-8-10-5 patterns all hardcore is today. That's my favorite part, actually. Aside from leads; they were pretty good too.

But, try to make up some new parts and put them in where stuff repeats, because it gets kind of repetitive. Great start though! Good job. A lot better than I can do on gp.
#4
it was a cool song, but those lyrics are...atrocious dude. I'm sorry, you gotta trash those. I could never hear a legit band in any genre singing those words..but thats the only thing that killed it for me. other wise, this was really, really good. could get huuuge in it's scene, dude. get a band for this kinda shit.
#5
I actually though the lyrics kinda went well with the song, and the melody was pretty decent too. I could see this song working well with screamed vocals along with the sung ones.

The music was pretty decent, if not slightly repetitive in places. but the vocals stopped it from being boring most of the time.
I think the only thing it lacked was a really huge epic moment, the whole song just kinda trudged along, it couldn done with a focal climax somewhere. I wasn't to keen on the riff at 87, it was a tad boring.
The intro tapping part is cool but it needs to progress with some different notes and maybe have a harmony come in? that'd sound pretty awesome i think.
The drums could do with being a bit louder, 13 maybe? and although the drums were decent in most places you could use a few more fills here and there and stop spamming the china! use a crash at the start of every 4 bars or something to stop me falling asleep it its gonna be all china from then. and again, more fills please!
And that poor bassist is gonna fall asleep before he finishes playing the whole song. I realise you probably put the bass there just cause you felt you had to but if you put a bit of effort into the bassline it can make the song a lot better in subtle ways.

Overall that decent a decent song at the moment, a few tweaks and it could be amazing.

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1256029
#6
Although the lyrics are kind of cliche, as mentioned earlier, they could work. I think a lot of it will depend on how it's done (which parts are sang, which parts are screamed, et cetera).

I'm normally not the kind of person to say that a song needs a solo, but this one feels like it does.

Also, the drums feel like a little be of variation on the toms and snare could really add a lot.

This isn't really related to the song, but when uploading something, it helps to label it. Label each instrument track (Rhythm Guitar, Drums, Lead Vocals, and so on), and use markers to separate the parts of the song (Chorus 1, Outro, Interlude); it makes listening to it and reviewing it easier.

Although this isn't an incredible piece, I think this song could be pretty good; let me know if you get it recorded, I'd like to hear it.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1258573
#7
Critiquing as i listen:

Bars 1-18: I like the solo, but it gets old for me after about listening to it two times through. Maybe change the tapping solo up a little bit.

Bars 19-34: I'm guessing that this is the "Verse". I like it, but the guitar is kinda cliche and sounds a bit like Bless The Fall. It's okay though because it starts to get better after the second guitar comes in.

Bars 35-46: This is probably the BEST riff in this entire song. I like this riff a lot and it's very catchy!

Bars 47-54: I like this transition into the tapping solo again, but remember to shorten the tapping solo in the beginning or else the solo begins to get boring to listen to.

Bars 63-86: Nice. The verse needed a little change and i like it. Although i think "Track 1" should've been louder to display a breakdown feel.

Bars 87-102: This section is BEGGING for gallops. Trust me, if you replace the sixteenth notes with gallops, the riff will sound A LOT better.

Bars 103-106: CUT THIS PART OUT! the song feels way too short to end it here. i would suggest repeating bars 35-46 then into bars 47-54 and then end it on the last note you play.

Overall this song is like a 8/10. But with some of my minor tweaks, i think it could be a 9.5
Gear
Ibanez GIO Electric Guitar
Ibanez V50 Acoustic Guitar
Peavey Vypyr 75watt
RP55 Guitar Modulation (thinking of selling)


Fairmount Avenue