#1
Another lyric.

Verse

As I walk on the ice,
my heart fills with sorrow.
The moon stares down at me,
forcing me in oblivion.
The trees surrounding me are all dead,
The more I look at everything, I think you know where it lead.
But now I've found a new one,
she lit a path for me once again.
The way you lit my path, was just a small shining light,
I think I knew it was a lie back then,
when I try to find you now, you're out of my sight.

Chorus

Can you make it stay, forever this way?
Don't you dare to leave, I'll only fall in misery again,
I won't let you go, The words you spoke, to me they are true,
If you leave, everything will change(not for better this time!)

Verse

If I put the ring on your finger,
will you accept it and never let me go?
I'm so afraid, you'll lie to me like her,
When the moment comes, we stand here together,
So invincible, but does it matter?
I love you, but I think it's more of an obsession,
I try to find gifts of love, and give them to you,
When I think of you, I don't ever want it to change,
It's just better this way.

Chorus

Can you make it stay, forever this way?
Don't you dare to leave, I'll only fall in misery again,
I won't let you go, The words you spoke, to me they are true,
If you leave, everything will change(not for better this time!)

Bridge

If you love me, then you wouldn't dare to lie to me,
If you said you really loved me, You would dare to bleed for me,
If you said you really loved me, You wouldn't have any doubts at all,
It's just me, I'm ****ed up.... Again....

Chorus

Can you make it stay, forever this way?
Don't you dare to leave, I'll only fall in misery again,
I won't let you go, The words you spoke, to me they are true,
If you leave, everything will change(not for better this time!)
Last edited by Dark_Knight94 at Jan 5, 2010,
#2
"If you said you really loved me, You wouldn't dare to bleed for me,"
i think you wrote this backwards, do you mean that if she did love you then she would bleed for you?

"where I try to find you now, you're out of my sight."
change where to when

"The more I look at everything, I think you know where it lead."
lead(s) ?


"I'm so afraid, you'll lie to me like her,"
"If you said you really loved me, You wouldn't have any doubts at all,"

your getting on her case about having doubts when you yourself have them?


other than what ive posted, this is pretty good, i like the emotion that you convey,
and i really like the first few lines
Gear:
Ibanez VBT700 V-Blade
Ovation Celebrity CSE24
Line 6 Spider III 15 watt
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(working on getting rid of these amps...)
Crybaby Wah 535Q
MXR fullbore metal