#1
C4C


I split myself to satisfy
a pair of broken parasites,
but I planted a sickened seed
and now I await flowering.

And how will I sew back my skin,
so I can feel like I’m complete
again? I can’t find my heartbeat
with all the knots throughout my veins.

I know all our past illusions.
While I implored executions
you shoved me new resolutions.

I paddle them up in my raft,
along this venous river’s tide.
Found out they’ve eaten my liver
and I have been drinking too much.

And, in the prime of my mistakes,
they chase me down with razorblades,
to spread my guts on the causeway
like small slices of a grate soul.

I know all our past illusions.
While I implored executions,
you shoved me new resolutions.
They’re all coming with forks and knives!

Now I try to avoid the feast,
but I’m being served as a beef
of the most tender piece of meat,
and they are eating me alive.
Last edited by seventh_angel at Jan 5, 2010,
#2
This is one of your best for a while. The flow is constant, the rhyming consistent and beneficiary and the language ambiguous, but not overly so. Your pieces tend to find themselves lost within themselves, but this kept on steady - it knew what it was saying. It felt like a song, I think, but it could be a poem. Either way, it was very enjoyable.
#3
I'm no guru,

but I never like sequences like the illusions, executions, resolutions. Maybe I'm the only one, I don't know. IMO it makes the otherwise heavy, serious song sound a bit cheesy at that part. But I don't know what's backing the vocals so just ignore my comment

If it's ballad-like, I think I wouldn't like it much. If It's skinshredding heavy metal, I'm a fan.
"Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time"