#1
So this girl, I mean I really didn't know if I liked her or not, something about her, I just couldn't bring myself to giving it more than a few half-hearted efforts, whatever it may have been. She was cute, very Polish, was the most stylish of her friends, those skinny legs in those black leather books, fur lining around her coat hood. We got on quite well, she was friendly, and would talk to me quite a lot, we sat next to each other on a bus back from Southern Denmark University a while back, same program being in and all, at least for the next few. But no, no more than a few throw-outs, and I surely could've called her whenever, but yeah, didn't, and didn't really mind. But it was a 'it gets my attention' sort of a don't really mind, and some jealousy got attached to this 'she gets my attention when she's around', and that ass, yeah, but, no, jealousy - this Pakistani smart-ass studied in London character, the last time I saw him dude was rockin' a 'stasch, no holds. So I don't know if they're ****ing or not, or, excuse me, shagging ('****ing' is starting to sound too medical book, or maybe, it has to be used more sparingly, and almost never in casual conversation - that's when a word like 'shagging' more fits the bill), so of course what I am responding to here is not her, but the idea - of her and some other dude. The sort of feeling where it's like 'I wish it was homo sapiens times again, I'd like to just split his head open with a ****ing rock, just to keep her in the corner of my cave.' Times like that one thinks to themselves 'it's ok, we all just want to **** everyone in the world, is all.'

It was first time I'd seen her in the likes of a few weeks, there then in our law class. I was still sick as a dog, hundsmiserable, from smoking too long, and had had a terrible stomach ache the day before, and she's there sitting next to the guy, where I'd usually sit next to and talk to her, like, this guy never shows up for any classes, its nuts, out of control. The thing is that I previously wasn't sure if they were together or not, and this was the first time I'd actually seen them with one another. I began to suspect when across the bar room two weeks or so before, when I saw him put his arm on her back for a second, and she didn't react. I was sitting there in law class kind of trying to ignore the both of them, playing up that I was sick (that's all I pretty much said to her), - during break I left right quick and tried to kill some time, went back to the room, and there would've still been a few minutes until the class begins again, so I got an immediate good idea, that instead of sitting there next to them, obviously ignoring them (now), I went outside to where the guy from Azerbaistan usually hangs out, and I asked for a cigarette. Perfect. Probably the best conversation I'd had with him. He's always writing all this 'anti-globalization' screed on facebook, it's funny. So, class begins, ends, I'm sitting right in front of the door, and I immediately leave. First one out. I wanted to pick up some apple juice for my cold at the four storey mall by the pedestrian zone, near where I live. So I briskly walk there, and the whole time I'm walking, just this jealousy, and I can't think about anything else, nothing else to think about at the moment.

I walk in the mall, go down an escalator, walk to the end of the erdgeschoss, and go into the supermarket. Lookin for apple juice, and they got all that shit. carbonated? non-carbonated? anything you want (no 'ausgeraucht', that's on you, but all that shit). I had a feeling for some baked camabert, which I hadn't had anything anywhere near like in ages, and grabbed a package by the cold cuts. (I hadn't eaten since lunchtime the day before, and my stomach was just starting to feel normal again - and I was famished). I went over to the freezer section, and decided on some pizza instead. This ****ing pizza, it was this 'American Style' pizza that's whole box is practically an American flag, peperoni, salami, and American flag, in a thick(er) box (frozen pizza selection sucks balls over here, I want to find a pizza painted store that just sells Jack's). So I grab one, and go back to the cold cut section to put my baked camabert back. This girl on my mind.

I walk back across the grocery market to the section that I originally got it from. I reached up to place it back, and as I was reaching up, I saw someone out of the corner of my eye, standing a few feet away from me - a woman, but that was all I could tell. I put the yellow camabert box squarely back where I got it. In the one and a half seconds that had gone by, I was thinking to myself "wouldn't it be crazy if that was her standing right there", but at the same time rationalizing that that's a bullshit thing to think. All that, and turning, all at the same time. After I had turned around, the irrational part of me won out - I just had to know, couldn't let this one go. So I look - and it's her. Her. Standing there, very much all by herself. Crazy ass moment. Floored. Then - do I approach? Do I not? Only have about one more second to decide, because if you decide to walk, and she sees you, she's going to know you saw her, and that you would rather have walked away than to have said 'hi'. So I said 'hi'. I Immediately told myself that my cold didn't exist, and that I can beat this jealousy, and I started talking. Asked her if she liked baked camabert and crazy American pizza while I reached back for the package, but not before I asked if she had any 'secret Polish cough medicine'. She said 'sure', after I hammed it up a bit, so we checked out, and I left with her on the way to her place, carrying her groceries, me all saying I'd catch the 19.40 bus. Fifteen minutes later I was ****ing her from behind and slapping her ass. so much for being jealous.
Last edited by parkt921k at Jan 5, 2010,
#2
I like nasty blunt ****ing in a story just as much as the next guy(i actually include it in my stories quite often), but I think it came too quick at the end. Aside from your punctuation(which I suck at also), that's my only nit pick... I think you should have led more into ****ing the girl at the end. Add a stanza or two.

Good read though, I dig your thoughts and tone. Gritty.

I don't expect a full critique in return, but I have a couple of things in my sig, you could check one of them out and leave a comment. I'd appreciate it.

-Jake