#1
me and my buddies first song. its not 100% finished a few more tweaks remain to be made so any help in critiquing would be greatly appreciated.

http://www.myspace.com/alexandmike

lyrics:
Sit up look ahead, how long did you rest?
Breathe in again baby this is all that you get
Words have been said, books have been read
The pattern repeats, what doesnt start cannot end

I'm rollin around tryin to find my way down
I hear all the sounds, wake up, walk the town
Kings and their crowns, like grass on the ground
All my thoughts are just smoke swirlin around

Songs for a sunny day
Chill out baby then awake
To see the fingers of the sky
Electric Butterflies

I'm way up in the atmosphere, I think I like it here
I ain't never seen the sun so clear, ridin on a comet's tear
Flowin through the universe, I greet the new moon
Seein the master plan so unrehearsed, just like a starseed bloom

[chorus]

Its a means to an end, a place to begin
A lovely girl, a beautiful prism
Its a life I live and a song that I sing
A city I've left but always remembering

Yeah Yeah yeah (etc)

[chorus]
#2
I can tell you have some dave matthews influence, the song was really cool, though the vocals need work I think. The recording all in all was fantastic, and I liked the song, good job!
So... Jeff Lynne is still making music.. all is well.

Check out my Ebook!: Yogi Jam!
#3
Hey, this is cool stuff. The intro is really sweet, but I think you could cut to the vocals a little sooner. The vocals could use just a little work in terms of pitch, but the way you sing actually sounds really cool n dirty. Reminds me a lot of the singer in the Flashguns. I love when when the other guitars come in, sounds great. Overall, the song is really solid, man. If you could give my song a crit that would be great!
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=22846593#post22846593
#4
hey man thanks for the crit. i love the feel in this song. the vocal style fits the song really well but if you could enunciate a bit more while keeping the raw emotional thing going i think it'd make things a lot cleaner. playing is awesome!
#6
i think the intro goes on for a bit too long. the drums really bring the song to life though, sounds great.

i dont like the vocals very much though, it sounds like you're shouting. guitar sounds great, its nice and smooth. i like the overall vibe i get from the song, its relaxing and upbeat.

just got to the part at ~3:42, the lead guitar could be a bit cleaner at that point

overall this was a nice tune keep up the good work.