#1
crit4crit
THE PROS AND CONS (SOLEMN JUDGMENT VS. DARK BRIBE)

Every genie in a bottle
They always turn out
To be a worm in tequila
Where I let my hope drown
And I never let her catch
Any breath at all
Because her uplifting words
Are my down down fall

This fall has lasted so long
It’s like a permanent autumn
Everything is up in the air
I’ll even pray for rock bottom

Promise me no promises
I’ve been let down so many times
It’s like a suicide jump
If I get my hopes up too high

You can water a wallflower
With a glass that’s half full
But soon he’ll see it’s half empty
And try and fill it for you
So he’ll pour out his whole heart
All his tears, sweat, and blood
All for your “Promise, tomorrow”
That never ever comes

Take back your invitation
As I pour you a toast
You’re the life of the party
And I’m but a holy ghost

Promise me no promises
I’ve been let down so many times
It’s like a suicide jump
If I get my hopes up too high

She said she’d always
Keep me in her heart
As she pins another
To the backseat of his car

When you drive the scenic route
Ask her, “Do you like what you see?”
A hopeless "No" is better
Than a hopeful together "Maybe"

Promise me no promises
I’ve been let down so many times
It’s like a suicide jump
If I get my hopes up too high
Last edited by themarsvolta at Feb 16, 2010,
#2
The whole piece has a very pessimistic and doomed attitude, what with the "Glass half empty, glass half full" metaphor. I mean the three lines sets the whole mood for the piece saying "Every genie in a bottle, they always turn out, to be a worm in a tequilla."
Quite a frustrated line I think. But overall a very nice piece, what with the eternal falling and comparing it to a "suicide jump"

She said she’d always
Keep me in heart
As she pins another
To the backseat of his car

When you drive the scenic route
Ask her, “Do you like what you see?”
A hopeless "No" is better
Than a hopeful together "Maybe"

I'm intrigued by these two stanzas, does this mean that she has forgotten about you, moved on to someone else, while you give him some advice for the relationship? If so then I like the wording of these parts.

Overall a nice piece, if not very pessimistic
Keep up the work

Niall