#1
Now I'm pretty sure I'd call this progressive. But I'm probably wrong. I just spent 2 days this week doing this and I'm quite happy with what I got. I'm not sure if I linked some of the sections all too well. The transition to the 6/4 section is a bit eh and then when it goes back to Verse I is a bit eh. I think I should've made the Break longer but let's see what you guys think. c4c
Attachments:
rock 141 v8.gp4
#2
Nice, but im confused, is it an instrumental, or is it a song with verse and chorus?
#3
It's still an instrumental but I didn't know what to name the sections so I just called them Verse and Chorus
#4
awesome peice, i really gota say. Sometimes cant hear the lead guitar, so maybe make a double up track? loved many sections of the song, just before the break was amazing, loved both choruses aswell. Only bad thing that i can say about it is that the stlyes of the break and before it sounds completely different to the verse so i dont really know how you would transition it
Oh, and i prefer the lead guitar in other parts such as the chorus a lot more than in the 6/4 ryhthm part, just didnt do it for me too much.

Amazing how your combining lots of different styles in this piece, and drums were fantastic

great song
#5
Great job. Nothing really i would suggest to change, everything worked well and transitioned nicely. Some parts were a bit overwhelming sound wise, the rhythm often the main culprit but if you recorded this, that issue is simply just a mixing thing and not a writing thing imo.
#6
I really liked the intro. It is really musical and interesting. The lead behin it is pretty cool as well. I liked the verse 1 as well, nice work. The chorus is alright but it is way to clustered for my taste.


Tbh, this song has nothing wrong with it in my eyes. It is a excellent song that i would really like to hear recorded one day.
#7
thanks for critting mine man, heres my crit
Intro: Awesome, really musically powerful. the only problems i have with it are the very first 3 main guitar notes dont go with the clean guitar notes. and bar 12 and 16. just one fret on all the strings played at the same time doesn't sound good, on GP at least.

Tempo change: i see what you were going for with the guitars switching back and forth, i think it would sound better if the drums went along with the guitars on the hi hat or cymbals or something. just kinda cray as it is you know? other than that its cool. i like the lead

Verse 1: like this riff. harmonies and solo sounds pretty bad ass. not much else to say about that.

Chorus: cool, kinda repetitive but the back guitars are sweet

Post chorus: bad ass! probly my favorite part of the song so far. i like this melodic dual solo stuff and it leads into the verse nicely. very tasty

The breakdown is very nice. im gettin into the melodic stuff.

Verse 2 is more of a breakdown in my opinion than the breakdown is
i think verse 2 starts to get on the more "too melodic" side, id put something darker sounding to catch the listeners attention. but thats just me! im really digging the riffage in this song

When i wrote that^^^ i hadnt listened to the next tempo change to the 6/4 rhythm yet. its like you read my mind. This riffs pretty simple but it gets the job done and the solos good.

I like the mix of the break and a breakdown, and the chorus is a nice ending to the song.

overall id give this song an 8.5-9/10. i really liked it but it was sorta long for an instrumental. wish i could write songs like that!

cheers
#8
I love the strange vibe created by the harmonics in the intro. The tempo change worked extremely well! The riff after that was very cool, as well as the lead on top of it. The chorus got on my nerves for some reason. It feels like there's too much going on, which is quite distracting.

Verse 1 is good, I like your syncopated riffage. The 6/4 rythm is cool, but I didn't like lead in there. When the clean guitar came in on top of it, everything again became too busy. From here on to until the ending nothing really grabbed me by the throat.

Overall, I liked it, but it's too busy in some places. A little simplification here and there should do the trick.

7,5/10

Crit mine?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1259260

grtz
#9
Wow, I loved this song. Perfect length, and enough changes to keep it interesting the whole way through.

The intro is really great, loved the lead, and the transition with the tempo change worked great.

I also really loved the use of chromatics in the verse - I can never work them into a song and have it sound 'right', but it was perfect in this case. Love how the lead kept with the rests in the rhythm.

The chorus has some great chords and great lead, I really couldn't suggest any improvements.

The breakdown is the only part of the song which feels weaker than the rest. The tapping lead was a little boring and the rhythm never caught me like the rest of the song did. IMO you should rewrite it.

The 6/4 section worked really well, as did the transitions into and out of it. Loved how in the break we get to clearly hear those clean arpeggios which are subtly in the background of the chorus. Than another great transition into the verse chromatic riffs again and the chorus.

All up this is a really great song, 9.5/10. A better breakdown would make it a ten.

Mind checking out these two songs here?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1261019

Cheers
#10
Crit as I go!

Intro is cool, that uneasy lead has a nice effect that takes away genericness (lol). Overall, really enjoyable intro.

Bridge was exactly that, a really good bridge.

Verse was sweet! Love the riff and use of staccato notes .

Chorus was.. chorusy. Kind of standard, very pleasant to listen to!

Post-chorus had a sweet lead line over it. Really good song overall so far, nothing I would change.

Leads well into the verse. Tempo change is a cool dynamic and change of pace, drums are written well in the breakdown too, I liked the rhythm in this riff too aha.

Verse II was well written but forgettable compared to the rest of the song!

6/4 worked REALLY well, I loved it! Very different and some cool techniques used during this section.. clean comes in, raising the epic bar a little aha.

Break is a sweet dynamic. Chugs over it are a nice build-up to the verse, which I still love and think it's awesome you reintroduced it aha. Transition to this chorus is sweet!

Same ol', same ol'.. fade-out is kind of bland. Only gripe so far LOL.

For what it was, 10/10! I guess, looking back, it wasn't anything mind blowing or awe inspiring; for what it was it was perfect. You nailed it and I don't think you need to change anything, though a alternate ending might suite the song better. Good dynamics, nothing drags on, catchy and well-written. Bravo monsieur.
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#11
tborsje: Haa I personally liked the breakdown the most. I really liked the solos and lead in your songs. I think my guitar skill kinda limits me from coming with some sick guitar solo stuff with sweeping and shizz like yours. I think I just need to start practicing to get better at guitar again.

As a general comment I dunno if I want to change the chorus though, I really like it as being like a huge clash of notes that work together(atleast I think they sound good together). Just makes it sound more epic. I was planning on making it like 7 minutes actually, just to try and make it truly epic but I dunno.

I'd still like to see more comments from people and I'm still happy to c4c anyone.
#12
Ok.. Gonna crit while listening
Intro:Awesome! Very good, awesome drums, fantastic work!
Tempo change bridge: This was a little bit "stop, go, stop!" part, didn't dig it really.
Verse 1: Intresting one, Nothing really bad to say about it, it wasn't anything special.
Chorus: Awesome one, great melody!
Post-Chorus: I liked this part too. Awesome chords!
Breakdown: Not really best part of this song, pretty un-needed part.
Verse II: I liked this part. I think as good as intro.
6/4: Pretty cool part, really great.
Break: Pretty nice part, chilly atlast.
9/10. Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1261560
Last edited by xbitmetal at Jan 16, 2010,
#13
Thanks for the crit man, I'm just about to leave for work but when I get home tomorrow I'll give you a crit.
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#14
I like the constant hazing in-and-out style of this compo. The verse seeps into the chorus as smooth as butter, and the flow of the postchorus sounds great as well. The actual structure of the song isn't too prog, but there's a nice proggy feeling glowing from all the riffing and drumming. The intro reminded me of Opeth's "Blackwater Park" a bit, while the first verse gave me a PtH feeling, and the chorus made me feel like I was listening to some very emotional posthardcore (errr... the good kind anyways!).

Good job overall, sounds very polished and plays like a finished product. Anyways, c4c plox? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1263496
#15
really, really cool song man. Lots of great melodies and very creative rhythms, IMO. My favorite parts were the chorus and the break towards the end. I thought the tempo changes were great, and kept the song flowing nicely, which is cool because I usually don't really like tempo changes.

would you crit one of my songs? It's a song on my profile called sevens. Thanks a bunch, peace.
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#16
wow, i really liked it... i have to agree with some of the other posts above about the simplification. It would sound better if you could maybe make it slightly simplier. But overall, its sick.
#17
Wow that's really good, critting as I listen:

Intro: This part is great, can't fault it at all, the rhythm guitars and the lead sound great. I wouldn't have repeated that bar six lead so many times but... whatever, it doesnt really matter,

Also maybe the drums could have a ride cymbal every like eighth or sixteenth note or something.

Verse1: I really don't like the riff here, I prefer riffs to kind of... 'flow' If you know what I mean, imo, instead of going back to the C5, hold the F note from the bar before, I reckon it would sound better.

Chorus: This is great, I especially love the bass in this part... sorry I really can't think of anything to say other that its brilliant.

what I really like about this song is how the best riffs and leads and whatever aren't over used, like the riff in the post-chorus, at 64-70, is so cool, If I'd come up with that, I'd have based a whole song around it, but you've just used it in one small spot in the song, thats what makes it so good...

One major complaint, about the song was the mixing, please get gp5, I mixed and changed all the guitar sounds from that terrible "pie dist." or whatever, so I could hear it good, but the differences in tones can really make a song so I've no idea if it sounded the way you imagined it... anyway.

anyway, really good work, pm if you add any more or revise it etc.



How do you write the leads? do play them on guitar first, or just come up with it in GP?
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#18
Cheers guys, I've returned crit to you piratemetalhead, and psychokiller I'll get to it in a bit when I have more time.

Julz: I'll take a look at the drums again on the intro and see what I think, but hah I really love my verse riff so sorry I don't think I'm gonna change that, I guess it's just personal taste. And ahh I do have gp5 but I thought not everyone did so I exported it as a gp4 file. But yeah I play everything on guitar first
#19
Wow dude, that truly is worthy of being called prog and is excellent! the only part i think could be better is the chorus, just because it seems a lttle out pllace compared to the rest of a great peice
C4C, noone has commented on the get out of my yard cover and thats tough shit!
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Last edited by AngusPetrucci at Jan 23, 2010,
#21
Cheers again guys. Angus you asking to crit your Get out of my yard cover? And herby I'll probably crit it tomorrow, just need some sleep now hah
#23
Alright sorry for taking so long to crit back guys.

I'm still happy to c4c with this btw
#24
That was sweet, record that ASAP.

Crit mine in my sig?
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#25
Critting as I listen:

Intro: Very nice intro. I like the clean guitar over it, the out of key notes add a bit of tnesion that is needed. The progression is kinda generic though... I expected it definitely, but it was still really good.

10: The mini-solo is nice. I like how it doens't detract from the main part.

Tempo-change: LOVE it. it's amazing. I love how you got to the Verse I. Great transition

Verse I - great verse. The lead is very nice. Very playful, at least to me. Reminds me a lot of Protest the Hero. The drums are very well done as well.

Chorus: Very epic. Fits very nicely. I just noticed the clean lead over it... it's very well put. And I just noticed the ACTUAL lead over it. I like how it's in the background instead of over everything... it just sounds better that wya.

post-chorus: Again, great transition. The lead is very good over it too. 64 and on is my favorite part of it. I really like the progression you used... it was definitely different, but sounded really good and fit.

Tempo change - breakdown: I like how it slowed and it takes a more "epic" feel than before. The lead is still really good over it. The bass seems very boring though... But it still leads very nicely into Verse II. How are you so good at transistions!?

Verse II: Again, very good. I like the rhythm a lot. But the lead, again, grabs my attention. And I love the slide down... very well done.

Tempo Change/6/4: The slide downs are very well done! I really like the groove you've got going here. And, I think, it's a progression from earlier? is it? The solo over it is good, again... you're so good at these xD I'm jealous. When the clean guitar comes in, it just adds a layer of awesomeness on top.

Break: I like your clean guitars through out. This is no exception. And the mini breakdown is really good over it. I love the "heavy on soft" kind of sound that it has. Reminds me of Tosin Abasi/ Animals As Leaders.

Overall, VERY good song. I REALLY enjoyed that... I might have to keep it for future listenings/learnings ;]

9.5/10

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1253711
#26
Alright.

I'm enjoying this so far. It's very "deep" and definitely has a lot of effort put into it. The drums do get a little too crazy in spots, in my opinion, but that does nothing to hinder the song's momentum so it's fine.

The leads early on are rather good. Nothing bad to point out there, the leads do their job. I'm not the biggest fan of the "verse" leads, to be frank. I just don't like the starts and stops; I can't stand the interruption of the flow. The chorus and post chorus leads are great, I have no problem with them there. They do their job. Good job there.

When I listen to the bass, I do find myself impressed. As a bassist myself, I always seem to direct attention to that. But through experience and from thoughts from a personal level, I think that the bass should never have a flat, open line during passages such as bar 108. In these moments, it's the bass' job to keep the rhythm but it has to keep parts of the song from going flat. Yeah, it's not really a big deal, sure, but simple "trolling" such as |6-5-3-0-3-0| helps give those parts some bounce and it would suffice. Bass also sounds good when you mix it in with the flow of the drum fill on the toms. Just something I would keep in mind. (I hope that all made sense) But otherwise you did a good job with the bass.

Overall, this was a really... almost fantastic piece of work. I can't really complain about any of the riffs for the rhythm... you're using scales and variety and you are being fairly original. But the rhythm does sound rather difficult in places such as 110 - 133. But yeah, this was really good. Good work. But I hope I gave some helpful advice on the bass. 4 1/2 stars out of 5.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1276451
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#27
Haha the verse was one of my favourite parts. And yeahh I get what you mean with the bass. I'm no bassist so cheers for that, I'll keep that in mind. Critting yours now
#28
Great composition, everything transitioned very smoothly and I can easily see myself listening to this as a recorded piece. The use of harmonics is a simple yet effective element of the song, and the great clean break near the end really caught my attention. The leads were great too, they added rhythm to the piece as well as satisfying anyone looking for a solo. There really isn't anything bad I can say about it, I really enjoyed it and was quite surprised that an average UGer wrote this and not a professional musician.

Get this recorded ASAP
Last edited by Pat_s1t at Feb 25, 2010,
#29
A lot of the intro I really liked. I thought the main riff was good although I think the third bar should have a different chord in it, repeating the first one doesn't sound that great. Love the clean harmonics. I thought parts of it were chaotic and messy though.
Tempo change worked well, I like your leads.
The next riff was a little generic for my tastes, sounded too metalcore compared to the rest but the rhythm was very groovy.
Chorus has great leads, although the progression is bland and the high 10's get annoying.
Verses and breakdown were good, although it's not very progression any more and more like a metalcore song.
The 6/4 section did nothing for me, I thought the riff was poor and it just didn't feel right. This is my least favourite bit so far.
Break was nice, and then verse and chorus again.
Over all the leads were good and the bass was solid, a lot of the drums were well written. The verse riff was also very catchy and memorable. The main downside was that it wasn't very proggy and the progressions and scales used made the song seem like a typical metalcore song which kinda distracted from some good writing.
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