#1
Just a rough draft of a song I made. This song isn't suppose to be anything extraordinary what so ever. Some parts drag on for a bit because they're suppose to be vocal parts to drive it. I wanted the focus to be a headbanging song. Anyways, C4C as always!
Attachments:
Of Wolves and Men.zip
Last edited by The Arsis at Jan 19, 2010,
#2
I like the feel to the intro, nice and heavy
I like when it goes to just the bass, but I think when the bass repeats the second time the drums should become a bit more, err, I dunno, active I guess?
I guess there should be vocals here because this short section is a bit boring, but the melody that comes in afterwards is pretty cool, and I like the octave strumming bit aswell.
Not too into the next riff, probably just my personal taste but I like the riff starting at 74, I think it kinda sounds like In Flames maybe. Not too sure about the transition to the strumming bit again, is this the chorus?
I think the development goes on for a bit too long, even with vocals, but I can't really tell yet, I'm just using my imagination
The outro's not bad, but I think it could end a bit better

It's an alright song, and like you said, it's not really extraordinary, and there's nothing really wrong with it. Nice one. Care to take a look at mine? It's an instrumental https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1258430
#4
I only really started to enjoy it at around Section 3. I don't have much to say about it really, It was a good song and had some really great parts. I'd recommend bringing the Drums up to around 15 volume, otherwise I found there wasn't much power in the song.

I liked the very active drums but I think a nice fill every few bars would be okay, especially with the long octave sections such as section 8. Guitar work was nice and the Bass was fine. I loved the Harmonies at the end, they were great .

I was a bit unsure about the finish but I like how it's spontaneous and you didn't make it some "epic" 1 minute finish of random drums and strummed chords and shit.

I'd give it an 8 or 9/10. It's not an AMAZING song but the writing is excellent.

C4C? Link is in sig :P:
#5
Intro verse: Nice, straightforward and powerful. I like that in intros. good way to start the song. Transition into the Bass section is kinda iffy because of the dramatic change.

Bass Section: A little simplistic after the intro for my taste, normally id go for a more "powerful" riff after such an intro but thats just my opinion. it doesn't neccessarily sound bad either.

Section 3: I like the little melody on top of the riff. I could see this sounding awesome with an actual band with actual instruments behind it.

Section 4: Reminds me of Amon Amarth a little, pretty ****in epic but still simple. in fact after listening to the rest of the song I can see a lot of Amon Amarth influence. especially with the lead harmonies in section 9. End section was good until the abrupt ending. i would have faded out with that riff myself.

overall, it was pretty simplistic but i like the epic feel. Id like to hear this if youre going to play it with an actual band. drums were good too.

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1259728
#6
I am going to critique this based on the information you provided (AKA: not going to compare it to more unique thrash metal songs).

The intro is accessible and will likely get some heads moving.

The bass bit was a bit to long for my tastes, it seems almost out of place in the style of music. Granted, I don't listen to much thrash music; but regardless it is a bit to long (with or without vocals). If you want it that long, mix it up a bit. Its straight 16th notes. Maybe even try altering the drum beat a bit. I could kind of picture a short blast beat at bar 16-17 that flowing right into the guitar again. Even that could make that part a bit more interesting, but also maintain the aggression of thrash metal.

Section 3 is good. Section 3.5 is awsome. Nice tapped melody.

In section 4 I would have one guitar play that riff as a lead (as it is), and another guitar playing a rhythm (perhaps a gallop?). That would certainly make it more interesting to not be hearing the same part on both guitars. Same goes for section 5, just perhaps a slower rhythm guitar ringing in the back.

Section 6 is good with me. I liked 7 as well, I love tremelo picked riffs.

Section 9 with the bass fill is cool. I like the harmonies on the original riff. It makes the section feel unique to the song, well done.

The outro is just awsome, especially for this style. It lets the bass shine.

Overall, not to shabby. A little to work on but its pretty good as it is.


C4C please: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1261046
Check out Hear the Indie for music reviews, interviews, and more.

Want a review? Send me a PM or email through the contact form on my site.
#7
A few quick points while listening - Section 7, great riff but I think if you made the riff progress energy wise, it would really kick in so much better and work up a better climax - for example instead of repeating the first three measures over and over again, perhaps creating a progression for the first three measures, with a tail, and really climbing the energy of the drums along with that - I think it would make it sound less repetitive and really bring it that extra oomph - even just changing your root note for the third and fourth measure could really make a difference I think!

Also when bar 82 kicks I feel the drums don't reflect the rise of feeling properly, you could really climb the energy before the blastbeat riff.

Section 8 could really use a melody on the repeat (bar 98) - would spice things up I think.

Section 9 being the same rhythmic pattern as section 8 I think you could switch the feeling on drums for the snare to fall upon your third beat each measure, and keep a cymbal pulse each beat (1234) - Just to really kick in that extra heavy oooomph to it, and change the feeling a bit, while keeping that extreme intensity - since you mentioned you want a vocal drive this can really affect how the vocals stand through and emphasize the music, also.

The ending, well, the concept works really well, the bass line is sweet, I just find maybe the guitar holding out chords is an easy way out - perhaps really making a palm mute chug along with the drum beat would really kick it in the teeth more, I don't know - also the progression is a little strange with the underlying bass line, but as for the tonality of the piece I'll leave that up to you - I just think it could be more rhythmically interesting on guitar, maybe one time holding out chords, the other with chugs... just an idea.

Also the final chord is rather abrupt, I suppose it works, but, well, it's an easy way out again. Not outstanding or bad, it just, works.

Other than that all the beggining sections before the ones I critiqued I believe are rather solid - the main point I think there is to make is that I believe all your riffs have a lot of space for energy/rhythmic progression in the manner that your section 3/3.5 did, I think that really sticks out as the basic motif I could see in this song - 4 repeated riffs sections with a sort of progression upon the third and fourth, added melody, changing drum rhythmics, accentuating certain things.

That being said this song is really solid and I like the basis of it, it flows excellently and serves as a wonderful template. Nice one!

Edit - I listened a couple more times and this is the kind of song I can listen to on gp and imagine perfectly what it would sound like recorded, with vocals and all, so I think you hit the mark with what you were trying to do rather well
Last edited by JazzDeath at Jan 14, 2010,
#8
Not bad, I think there's quite a few parts in this that sound similar to In Flames, but definitely in a good way, around Whoracle era.

The lead part beginning at 0:50, I really think that would sound better an octave up (or maybe harmonized with an octave up), and maybe slightly quieter compared to the rhythm part.

When the octave section came in, I was waiting for it to explode into some big riff, but it kept going as octaves, and that gives it quite a distinctive sound, which I quite liked.

At 2:26 where the bass riff comes in, I think that's the best part of the song. I really like that sound. After that, the guitar part is good, but it feels like maybe there could be something more between that and the next octave part. Maybe that would sound different if there were vocals on there though.

I quite liked the sudden stop of the ending, I think too many bands these days would play out over and over on a riff like that. It sounds more punchy just to finish like that.

Overall, good song, most of it fits together quite well, and some great basslines.
#9
Intro: Great riffage! Nice and powerful start

Bass interlude: I love it when the bass gets a chance to do something by itself

Section 3: the rhythm riff is good, but the tapping part seems to have a few bum notes...

Section 4: this part seems pretty uninspired, it goes on for too long as well. I do like the transition into section 5.

Section 6: good, but the riff needs a little variation here and there, it tends to get boring...

Section 7: great part, but to me it felt a little out of place, especially when the tremolo picking starts. Not that it's bad, it just feels weird somehow, can't really explain...

Section 8 and 9: there's that annoying riff again. You should change the rhythms a bit to make it more interesting.

The ending was okay, but again, something felt out of place...

Overall it's a good song, but some things don't sound right to me, don't know why.

7/10

crit mine?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=22934302#post22934302

grtz
#10
Quote by saddam
Intro: Great riffage! Nice and powerful start

Bass interlude: I love it when the bass gets a chance to do something by itself

Section 3: the rhythm riff is good, but the tapping part seems to have a few bum notes...

Section 4: this part seems pretty uninspired, it goes on for too long as well. I do like the transition into section 5.

Section 6: good, but the riff needs a little variation here and there, it tends to get boring...

Section 7: great part, but to me it felt a little out of place, especially when the tremolo picking starts. Not that it's bad, it just feels weird somehow, can't really explain...

Section 8 and 9: there's that annoying riff again. You should change the rhythms a bit to make it more interesting.

The ending was okay, but again, something felt out of place...

Overall it's a good song, but some things don't sound right to me, don't know why.

7/10

crit mine?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=22934302#post22934302

grtz


Is there another song I can crit of yours? I'm not a big fan of dissonant overload and my crit wouldn't be that helpful.
#11
Ok so beware for my crit . I liked first 8 bars, great work. Really fast and creates dark feeling. Next drum and bass part is too long, you should cut it into 4 bars. Next part is nice. Makes me feel angry . It's simple but I like it. I think tapping is too happy for this. Octave riff is nice, but It's hard to crit this kind of riff without vocals. By the way can you play this? It's pretty fast on intro riff. I like 73 on but it's little bit too happy. I liked outro, most of song had it's dark feeling, ubt sometimes it got out from it, but feeling was awesome. 8½/10.

Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=22939329#post22939329