#1
I know, I said I wouldn't be posting for awhile. Whatever. Just wrote this and meant it, thought I'd drop it here. ots. By the way just a question, what gender is an orange?


I ate an orange today.
as I chewed I noticed the feeling of
each individual tendon and segment of skin
giving in and squishing against the roof of my mouth.
Each time I swallowed I swore I could hear
screams fading softly as they slid down my throat.
I told myself it was okay; she deserved it.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
Last edited by Ganoosh at Jan 9, 2010,
#2
racist
last.fm
"If I could prove by logic that you would die in five minutes, I should be sorry you were going to die, but my sorrow would be very much mitigated by pleasure in the proof."
G.H. Hardy
#3
Oranges are girls; it's the ovary of a plant with the seeds inside.

I like it, Aaron. The description is very strong, I could feel the orange in my mouth, but the ending was a bit weak. Just an extra line before the last could have really made it stuck.

Still, good.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#4
andyycho: Get out.

racist kid: My best friend is black. I have pictures.

Saadia: Thanks. It wasn't supposed to be anything spectacular, just me killing an orange. Haha. Endings aren't exactly a strength right now apparently and sadly that's the most important part...thanks for Oranges 101 as well.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#7
You stop posting right after I start again?

Well, that's quite a good way of describing the eating of an orange. I've always wanted to be good at creating interesting images out of mundane things, and you seem to be pretty good at it. I think little bits like this could help you flex that particular writing muscle.

Also, you HAD to eat that orange. If it got the chance, it would eat you and your family.
#8
Lol i think it was short and sweet and yeah i liked it too how u create interesting images out of mundane things. I tried writing something like that too, if you have time could you read my Vegetarians and Melancholy? thx
#10
It didn't seem deep to me, but very funny. Good job.

Now Now children, no flaming.

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one day
these yu-gi-oh cards will pay off my mortgage
#11
Quote by Ganoosh

racist kid: My best friend is black. I have pictures.


bad comeback. good poem.

Last time I heard something like it (albeit not about oranges), I stopped eating meat forever. Any other reference this poem makes I think you might be a little young for. I could be wrong, so no offense intended

And don't stop posting. If you do, there had better be notebooks and post-it notes on the refrigerator, kitchen counters, television and toilet with scrawled pen marks all over them. in your handwriting. ad finitum.