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#1
I just spilled my flatmate's freshly cut chicken all over the floor, because it was sitting right in front of the microwave, and before I could register, pushed the 'open door' button on the microwave. It got me thinking - during my escape from my flatmate's overly-distracting breasts and high kicks - what's the dumbest accident/thing you've ever had/done through sheer retard...ancy?
Matter is void. All is vanity. All is nothing. Nothing exists.

But damn does whisky rule
#2
Most accidents can be classed as dumb. Look at George Bush.
Blog Of Awesome UGers.
Quote by OddOneOut
I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#3
I was going on a bike ride on the Atlantic city board walk when I was 7 or 8 it was morning and while I was riding I fell aslep----ran into a telephone poll----crowd was like I was like
Rofl?







Lol Cross. The Power of LOL Compels you!
#4
is your flatmate a cheerleader? if so STFU and enjoy it.
I've got the spirit, but lose the feeling.
#5
One time I forgot to put any clothes on. When I walked down the street that day so many people were distracted by my tits that they crashed.

Stupid men and their lust towards beautiful women.



stratkat
#6
got some chick pregnant, that was pretty dumb... luckily a swift kick sorted that problem out
#7
Well yesterday at work I dropped a box on top of a pot of big mac sauce and it sprayed over this guys trainers. He was not happy.

However he's an obnoxious douche so i consider a good accident.
#8
Quote by Capt_Clarkson
got some chick pregnant, that was pretty dumb... luckily a swift kick sorted that problem out


elohel
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#9
well this didnt happen to me me but once i was walking with one of my friends and this guy runs by and checks her out and while hes distracted he runs into a stop sign and when he gets up he hits it again
how did he hit it again i though he would have known from the first time
#10
Quote by Talonwolf
I just spilled my flatmate's freshly cut chicken all over the floor, because it was sitting right in front of the microwave, and before I could register, pushed the 'open door' button on the microwave. It got me thinking - during my escape from my flatmate's overly-distracting breasts and high kicks - what's the dumbest accident/thing you've ever had/done through sheer retard...ancy?



Post these so-called distracting breasts or we wont believe they exist
#11
Quote by intheshadowplay
is your flatmate a cheerleader? if so STFU and enjoy it.


No, just busty and unusually flexible. Like a cheerleader, without the dumb.
Matter is void. All is vanity. All is nothing. Nothing exists.

But damn does whisky rule
#12
I had made some brownies in a pyrex baking dish one night. In the morning when I got up, I had turned on the stove to heat up some water for oatmeal. Not realizing that I had set the Pyrex pan on the burner that I had just turned on. 5 min later, the pyrex pan exploded like a grenade, sending shards of glass everywhere at a velocity so hard they stuck half an inch into the wall and floor!

Luckily no one was in the kitchen at the time.
#14
Usually, I just make a series of small mistakes that lead to one big fail. For example, when I was 12 or 13, I wanted to make pizza rolls. However, I spilled the entire bag of them on the floor. After picking them up, I realized some of them looked dirty (our floor wasn't very clean), so I washed them off in the sink, and put them back into the freezer..... without drying them.

The next day, I again decided I wanted some pizza rolls. I got them from the freezer, opened the bag, and realized that they had all frozen into one giant pizza roll ball.
#15
Quote by Venice King
Most accidents can be classed as dumb. Look at Me.


Fix'd

I'm with Venice on this one
They made me do push ups in drag

I'm gonna have a really hard time if we're both cannibals and racists.

Don't dress as a whore, he'll thump you.

I'm a firework, primed to go off
#16
Quote by padgea7x
Fix'd

I'm with Venice on this one

Blog Of Awesome UGers.
Quote by OddOneOut
I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#17
I'm really good at breaking things and covering it up as if it wasn't me. Really good.
Oh, you wouldn't want an angel watching over
Surprise, surprise, they wouldn't wanna watch
#18
Well I watched "most unfortunate deaths" (or something to that effect) once, and some guy pierced his brain with a javelin by running into it. That's quite the accident.
-

#19
I forgot to pull out.
Gear:
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#20
There's this kid at my college who just has to be a dumb accident.

And Vezdehod's avatar is so distracting.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#21
There was this one time i was getting drunk with a few of my friends in my friends shed, and because i was sitting closest to the door they told me to close it, and at the time i was in a sleeping bag to keep warm. Being the silly Bugger i am i didnt get out of my sleeping bag to close the door, instead i jumped to the door in my sleeping bag whacking my head full pelt on one of the roof supports and got a decent sized gash on my head and a big dent on the support
#22
Quote by Aléx
Well I watched "most unfortunate deaths" (or something to that effect) once, and some guy pierced his brain with a javelin by running into it. That's quite the accident.


That was on 1000 Ways To Die
#24
Quote by SilverchairFan
That was on 1000 Ways To Die

That's the one
-

#25
Funnily enough, last night I managed to lock myself out of the house. My parents are away at a wedding, so there was no-one to open the yale lock from the other side, and my dogs were in the house so I had to get in. I ended up phoning an emergency lock smith to come and get me in, bearing in mind this is at one in the morning and it's about minus 7 degrees celsius! The guy arrived after an hour, and had to break the lock. It took about an hour and a half to break the lock, at the end of which I had to pay him £110 for the privilege. I have never felt such a tool in all my life.
I can't think of a signature.
#26
My personal worst dumb accident was falling off a trailer. I'm still not quite sure how it happened, but gravity and a 5' fall onto tarmac left me with a broken arm and a knee the size, shape and colour of a watermelon. Classic.
I tend to inflict dumb accidents on others. Among many, there was breaking 8 of a workmates fingers one time; telling a guy his jump off a wall was safe, only for him to end up breaking thro' the lid of the septic tank; talking to a forklift driver who was getting a pallet of whisky off a storeroom rack, which he then dropped some 20' to the concrete floor. We did try to clean up, but it's tricky when you're as pissed as a newt off the fumes...
#27
i was a dumb accident








not really, that was my sister
Quote by asator
YOU'RE A CUNT AND STUFF LESPAUL1216.


It's okay because whatever, forever
#28
Quote by Venice King
Most accidents can be classed as dumb. Look at George Bush.


I bet George Bush is much more intelligent than someone like yourself.

Barrack Obama, now there is an idiot.
#29
Quote by iplayguitar?
I bet George Bush is much more intelligent than someone like yourself.

Barrack Obama, now there is an idiot.

You are the idiot. Can't even spell a name...
ಥ_ಥ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ೃ ·ಏ· ಢ_ಢ


E-Married to the sexy DarkConcertine


and Jon777 .


#30
Quote by iplayguitar?
I bet George Bush is much more intelligent than someone like yourself.

Barrack Obama, now there is an idiot.


I'll take that bet
I can't think of a signature.
#31
Bush's intelligence is irrelevant, whatever he is, he just wasn't cut out for presidency. However, i DID make ~$2000 by taking advantage of the failing USD.
#32
Quote by iplayguitar?
I bet George Bush is much more intelligent than someone like yourself.

Barrack Obama, now there is an idiot.

I'd insult you right about now if you were worth the time.
Blog Of Awesome UGers.
Quote by OddOneOut
I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#33
Quote by iplayguitar?
I bet George Bush is much more intelligent than someone like yourself.

Barrack Obama, now there is an idiot.


With a reply like that you are in no position to question anybodies intelligence.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#34
Quote by Venice King
I'd insult you right about now if you were worth the time.


You're funny. I know people who have personally met George W. Bush and can back me up on his intelligence. People just like to join in on fads that make them feel like they are being revolutionary and sticking it to the man and one fad happen to be about hating Mr.Bush. But if people start disliking Obama its a SIN.

....stuff dun not gon and made sense to me latlee wit politicul peeples
#35
My mum's fiancée just attempted to kick the head off the snowman he made in the back yard a few days ago. He ended up slipping backwards and nearly knocked himself out *facepalm* what the hell would you even say to the guys at the emergency room?

he's never been the sharpest crayon in the box.
Knowing is not enough; we must apply.
Willing is not enough; we must do. - Goethe


e-married to isabiggles
#36
I misread the thread title as "Dumb Accents".


Would have been way funnier.
#38
Quote by iplayguitar?
You're funny. I know people who have personally met George W. Bush and can back me up on his intelligence. People just like to join in on fads that make them feel like they are being revolutionary and sticking it to the man and one fad happen to be about hating Mr.Bush. But if people start disliking Obama its a SIN.


Here, sir:



#39
this iplayguitar? fellow seems like someone i would want to punch in the face repeatedly
Quote by asator
YOU'RE A CUNT AND STUFF LESPAUL1216.


It's okay because whatever, forever
#40
Quote by EuBoat
One time I forgot to put any clothes on. When I walked down the street that day so many people were distracted by my tits that they crashed.

Stupid men and their lust towards beautiful women.

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