#1
Hi,

A song i've written recently; i'm normally a metal man (as far as writing goes - my taste's a lot more diverse than that), but recently i've been inspired by bands like Editors and Radiohead (and I suppose Mogwai and Russian Circles to an extent) to write something more chilled out.

I personally think that there needs to be something else after the second chorus/bridge, and potentially less use of the main riff, but i'm stumped for ideas as of now. So check it out if you want, tell me what you think, if you have any ideas etc.

Cheers,
Gerbs.
Attachments:
Wait.gp5
Wait midi.gp5
Wait.mid
#2
Sounds very cool, i like it a lot, even if im not fond of drop C(my issue ) the main riff is surely catchy and sounds good. The drums at the beginning are a bit too loud and the hi-hats are somehow too pushy, but turn the volume down a bit and it gets good.
the song floes nice, and if you make a smoother transition at 109 in reality, it'll sound good.

What i think you should work on is the solo, and maybe reduce the length of the outro(between the start and the distorted guitar entrance), that's a bit too long and repetitive.

The solo needs more variations IMO and you could add some fills during the song if you wish, but i somehow think you want to stick with clean guitars till the "riff"
Anyway, the song has potential and after some polishing, it may be a hit

Care to crit mine, please? 9/10

EDIT: i just realised how bad it looks without paragraphs
Last edited by szekelymihai at Jan 11, 2010,
#3
Critting as I listen:

Fade in& riff: Sick. That sounds so awesome. I really like that. This is something Brand New could've written. Awesome.

Verse: Simple but solid. Do you have an actual vocal line for it? I'd like to hear it recorded. The main riff gets slightly repetitive, but that's excusable, becuase of it's awesomeness.

Chorus: I'm not to sure of this part. There is nothing wrong and it sounds good, but personally I think it doesn't fit in. Maybe with vocals, or after listening some mor times.

Break and Verse: Very sound, I like it a lot. Though, the riff now get's really repetitive, and this whole song is screaming for vocals. seriously.

Chorus: Sounds a lot better, once you get used to it.

Bridge: Sounds good, nothing wrong with it. Said dodgy transition is not dodgy. Just record it like that, and you will see it will sound brilliant.

Riff: Yeah, I already said I like that riff.

Build: I like the panned guitar. Adds texture to it. The break at the ending is a tad long, I'd shorten it a bit.

Outro: I like it. Has a nice flow and melody. Get's a bit repetitive after a while. The Leads again are great, but a little quiet. Turn them up!

All in all, this is an really awesome song, and I totally could think of Jesse Lacey singing to it. And this is, besides Geoff rickley singing to something, the best thing I can say. If you ever get this song recorded, let me now. Instantly. 10/10 yet alone because of this awesome riff

C4C?
Gear:
Ibanez SZ320 -> Höfner Analouge Delay -> MXR GT-OD -> Laney GH50L -> T.C.Electronics GMajor -> Line6 4x12 w/ Celestion G12T-75


My Lyrics and Poems


"with golden hair and perfect eyes,

with hollow words and empty lies."
#4
szekelymihai:

Thanks; heh, yeah. My guitar is locked in Drop C, so that's what I write in (though incidentally i came up with the first riff on my acoustic, which was, yes, in drop C at the time).

What I thought for the intro was some sort of filters over the drums to begin with, and then kick in with the proper riff. Sort of like "Parody" by Seemless if you've heard it.

As for what you took for a solo was meant more to be a melody just to increase the epic-factor of the ending. I can see what you mean about the repetitive element of it all though. I hope to adress that with the inclusion of vocals. If that doesn't sort it out i'll definitely look at mixing the melodies up though.

Thanks again, i've critted your linked song


OrangeWalls:

... Christ, cheers man ;D

I'm a bit weak on the whole vocals/lyrics thing; but after i record all the instrument parts (which incidentally, i intend to do at the weekend) it's definitely something i'm looking at.

I think that the chorus sounds dodgy because of the massive increase in volume in GP, but that's because i'm playing a lot more strings than before; in real life i think the transition's more smooth. I think it sounds more natural - I suppose we'll find out though.


The break you mentioned as being long I have an idea of the start of the outro vocals beginning then to fill the gap. I have to think up the line for it etc. though. I have (and i'll WA-AAAAAAAIT in my head, if you can imagine that though ;D )

As to the outro, i'm intending to have some big sustained notes on vocals at the start of it, like i just said hence its repetitive-ness for now. I hope that's rectified though - if not i'll have a look at changing it

I'll give you a heads-up when the instruments are finished if you fancy it though. As for now, i'm just about to crit your song.

Thanks again