Here's a sample of the lyrics, please tell me what you think!

It’s the same old story when I walk in the room
Everyone is looking at me but I’m looking at you
And your lips betray what your eyes want to say
But lucky for me I can see through

And I’d throw away my happiness just to buy you a smile
To let you know what it feels like to feel good for a while
And don’t let what someone might say throw you into denial
You’re the most beautiful girl when I buy you a smile
Main Bass Rig:
Dean Edge Q6 - 6 String with Active EMG-HZs

Fender BXR 300C - 300 Watt combo

Boss GEB Bass Equalizer
Electro-Harmonix Bass Big Muff Pi
MXR Bass Envelope Filter
Tech 21 SansAmp Bass Driver DI

enough said
Epiphone Sg special <---meh

Peavey Vypyr 30 <---awesome

When I went to the Nile
I stayed for a while
I used nail file
And walked off in style
The floors were of tile
And I had a smile
And I sat for a while
On the banks of the Nile.

Now - I'm not being an ass, but do you see how ridiculous it sounds when you rhyme every single line with the initial rhyme scheme?

Vary it up, man. But that's just IMO I guess.
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -

Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
I'd love to hear this put to music, and I disagree about the previous comment,I like the chorus rhyme shceme.

Just add a verse (or two) and it'll be great.
I enjoy Music