Registered User
Join date: Oct 2007
2,340 IQ
I wrote this with the anticipation of making it typical metalcore, but i think it turned out a little better then that (though it is still kinda generic)

Let me know what you think.
metul 2.0.gp5
Join date: Jan 2007
525 IQ
Wow, that was awesome, which surprised me after your description

I wasn't too taken with the start of it, the first couple of riffs were a little dull to my ears, but then again you did say you started out trying to make it generic metalcore, sooo...
The end of bar 4 where the bass doubles the arpeggios is really cool, and the transition into the faster verse riff was cool with the dissonance. But again, I thought that riff was a bit standard, had a "been done before" feel to it. Next little riff (bar 11) was cool, more original rhythmically, nice touch with the keyboards.

Riff after that was one of my favourite parts, nice rhythm and cool harmonies, also brought back that little dissonant chord (minor 2nd?) which was nice. Again, cool keyboard part.

Now the riff after that. YES. Best part of the song by a mile, I wish I'd written that myself, seriously. Loved it. (I'm talking about the one with the pedal lead on the high E, guessing it's the chorus?) Really nice chords, cool keyboard backing, solid drums and bass, and I love that lead part, the way it goes back to the high E in bar 4 is perfect.

The part after that was good too, nice transition, and I really like that fading out stacatto on the dissonant chord again. Nice little quiet section, a suggestion I have (and I don't mean to be intrusive, it's your song after all) is that maybe synth drums would be cool here? Just a thought, I think they'd improve this part a bit. Either way, the piano part is very cool, nice synth, and it's a good contrast to the heavy parts. Cool breakdown afterwards too, like how the synths kept going to make the transition smoother. And a great transition into that awesome chorus again. Oh, and I almost came when you harmonised the lead as well, that's an awesome touch.

Interesting ending too, was a surprise. I thought the fade out could have been more gradual, maybe double the length of the riff? Other than that, good ending.

Another minor fault is that technically this should be double the tempo and the notes should be 8ths where they're 16ths etc. But it still sounds the same, so not a big issue. Just looks a bit off, some of the bars are very long.

I'm going to go ahead and give this 9/10.

C4C on either of the "this"es in my sig? Preferably the first, but I get the feeling I've asked you to crit it before...If I have, then you owe me a crit on both of them
My name is Danny. Call me that.
Last edited by asator at May 12, 2010,
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2009
974 IQ
This was surprising. I expected generic metalcore, and at first that's what I got. You even harmonized the verse in thirds. But the piano came in and caught me off guard. That was great. And actually a lot of the leads and chord work was interesting to listen to instead of the same thirds and power chords, although there were plenty of those, too. This wins my approval.

If you could crit mine , that'd be great.
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2008
98 IQ
I was also expecting some generic metalcore when i heard bars 6-10 and the third harmony, but that piano part really impressed me

The intro it's not so cool, didn't liked the bar 3, sounds kind of weird.

Bars 29, 33, 37, 41 - Instead of that dissonant thing, you should put some clean chord that matches the piano

49-60 - Awesome. The guitars/drums/bass could be a little louder on 51-60, the piano should be more on background.

69-72 - Didn't like the way this harmony sounded on Guitar pro, but on the real guitar should be better

Overall it's great song, brings some new stuff to the table

Sorry for my bad english, i'm brazilian
hi, my name is matt.
Join date: Apr 2008
751 IQ
once you get over the intro of the song and the synth starts taking a nice role in the song it becomes one of the best metalcore songs ive ever listened to. i really really like the piano part in the middle and how you transitioned to the end of the song with it. nice work i really liked it =]
UG's only Holo
Join date: Oct 2008
1,325 IQ
afdter reading those crits it really got me interested.
I liked the first riff a lot, the structuring of your riffs is pretty good. The synths were of great use throguhout the whole song.

I guess everybody agrees that the worst part in there were the generic metalcore 3rds part.

so, after reading the crits I had high hopes in the piano. It was cool, but it weas missing a bit in softer part. I had hoped for a full solo and not just a recurring melody.
Towever, this melody developed its fll potential when the other isntruments kicked back in and the drums got heavy. It feels as if the piano lick is splashing in there, great work.

The outro worked well too, the drums are well written.

All in all a great song, didn't expect that since 90% of the metalcore I see around here is crap imo (yes, I hate *core in general)


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has a bucket
Join date: Sep 2004
582 IQ
very solid structure, although i thought the piano bit went on a bit long

in measure 3, i was hunting for the source of that faint dissonance - i like the effect
don't have the bass play dead notes, that rarely sounds good in this type of music. just keep playing the root note.

the guitar riff in mm 49-60 was cool when all the swedish death metal bands were playing it in the mid '90s, but i think that section of the song would be better served if you reintroduced some of the riffs from earlier in the song, with some variations

also, i feel like you really missed an opportunity by having the bass play long notes in mm 69-72. playing eighth notes would allow it to carry the rhythm along with the drums and really add some punch.
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