UG's only Holo
Join date: Oct 2008
1,325 IQ
alright, I've been working on this for the past months which is quite odd since I usually finish my songs in a few days. I never out that much time into a song.

The riffs and solos are quite good I guess, but the song is still lacking structure.

it's for RSE only, I'll probably get a midi mix and a rse mp3 up on my profile in a while.

edit: and yeah, C4C of course.

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Last edited by thorbor at May 15, 2010,
UG Lovely Member
Join date: Aug 2005
954 IQ
Cheers for the crit on mine, it was very helpful, I'll try and fix the flaws you mentioned.

This piece reminded me a bit of Steve Vai or Satch, and a little bit of Porcupine Tree in some of the riffs. I enjoyed the groove and dynamics, but it took a while for it to really grab me.

I like the bass intro, and the first riff is quite good. There doesn't seem to be anything special going on in M2, and there doesn't really seem to be any reason for the sax to be there, it doesn't seem to be doing much. M3 is also quite good, the riff has a nice groove. M4 doesn't really grab me, but it's not bad.

I love M5. I particularly like bars 55 to 58, and the way the sax fades in and out. M6 is a return to pretty good-ness; it's an enjoyable riff, and I'm starting to enjoy the way it alternates between funky riffing and jam-like solos, but again nothing amazing.

Now M9 is where it really starts to grab me. The phrasing on the sax solo is brilliant, and the chord changes build up a bit of tension. M10 continues building up, the dynamic changes keep it interesting, and what I think is the only guitar harmony in the piece creates an interesting climactic ending. The last few sections are certainly the best ones.

Out of 10 I don't know what I'd give it because I'm too tired to have any sense of perspective, but I know I did enjoy it despite not being a massive fan of this sort of thing. Although someone who is might have a completely different opinion. Keep it up, etc.
Last edited by whalepudding at May 16, 2010,
Signt, oo Jaed?
Join date: Feb 2007
1,892 IQ
I don't RSE (or GP for that matter), so I might to your profile to listen to the song. As such, I won't be able to tell at which bar I enjoyed this or that.

I like the groove metal edge with a predominantly funky base line. I'll admit that something about the intro didn't catch my attention till the second syncopated riff. It's much more determined and focused to me, which is very important in this type of music.

Return to what I believe is the 1st/intro riff with the solo on top was most impressive. Solo was very clear cut and direct. Is the sax supposed to be a vocal line or an actual sax?
Either way it could work.

That guitar break/build-up in the middle of the song accents the following riff very well. I'm not sure if it's the 2nd coming back, but it doesn't matter. It sounds great.

The 2-3 solo sections after this riff are excellent. The transitions are very minimal and the melody of the solo keeps moving "effortlessly". Idk about the finale, but it works. Kinda left me feeling high and dry.
I'll look through the tab to elaborate more on it.

I guess those riffs didn't repeat as often as I thought they did. The melodic motif is similar, so I'm not completely wrong.

M 6 is easily the best part of this song. Reminds me a funner Tool or a progressive Pantera.

The solo section at M 11 reminded a bit of Jr's work. Might be the dissonance of it.

I must say that I do prefer the mp3 on your profile over the GP file. The dynamics are much more pronounced, the tone is much fuller, and it's more immediate ("reading" GP songs is a bit degrading to the work in that it kills a lot of the magic that makes these songs fun to begin with).

Good work sir.
UG's only Holo
Join date: Oct 2008
1,325 IQ
at first, thanks for teh crits guys, I'll look into your song again, huevos

oh god, actually, I had huge problems with that song and its structure. I think the problem is, that the intro riff is so.... interchangeable. it doesn't stick out that much.
Aside from that, you were right about one thing: I've used the intro riff 3 times in that song and that drum pattern like 4 or 5 times.
The riff over the sax solos is also totally the same. I am still very unsure about that piece and some parts of the solos in there just seem...bad to me.

The only thing that's awesome in there, from my point of view, is the bass. It's 100% m,ore important than the rhythm guitar. haha, you wouldn't even eed the rhythm gutiar in there, most of the time.

anway, again, I appreciate those crits

edt: oh and yes, it's supposed to be a real sax.

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Last edited by thorbor at May 16, 2010,