guitar ben94
plays guitar.
Join date: Mar 2009
1,291 IQ
#1
New song I wrote.

Genre is sort of metalcore and deathcore I think.

Just about finished. A few changes probably need to be made here and there, such as to the solos, just wanted some crit.

C4C.

Thanks.

EDIT: New version in post #7.
Attachments:
My Past Life.zip
Last edited by guitar ben94 at Jul 2, 2010,
windrider13
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2010
43 IQ
#2
awesome riff if you were going for a hardcore/metalcore sound but it gets a bit boring due to the constant repeatition. try using variations lyk using different intervals to bring out the emotion of various lyrical parts. e.g if a particular lyric is " i bled for days, eternal gaze , slay the guardians of your fate", try a riff that intensifies that emotion. Maybe a minor third interval at the first cycle then harmonise in the fifth interval on the second cycle by having the second guitar play it. u dig?

the breakdown is pretty generic but awesome.

the vocals really pissed me off. it sounded forced and uncoordinated. dude, it spoiled the song for me. mayb its coz of the instrument u used. bt it needs more work.

the solos are pretty awesome. but it sounds as if ur just repeating the same lick over and over again. try different things like squealies, alternate picking licks, some dives on the wammy bar...u know, be adventurous.

But i really love the main riff. Just don't use it too much.
guitar ben94
plays guitar.
Join date: Mar 2009
1,291 IQ
#3
Quote by windrider13
awesome riff if you were going for a hardcore/metalcore sound but it gets a bit boring due to the constant repeatition. try using variations lyk using different intervals to bring out the emotion of various lyrical parts. e.g if a particular lyric is " i bled for days, eternal gaze , slay the guardians of your fate", try a riff that intensifies that emotion. Maybe a minor third interval at the first cycle then harmonise in the fifth interval on the second cycle by having the second guitar play it. u dig?

the breakdown is pretty generic but awesome.

the vocals really pissed me off. it sounded forced and uncoordinated. dude, it spoiled the song for me. mayb its coz of the instrument u used. bt it needs more work.

the solos are pretty awesome. but it sounds as if ur just repeating the same lick over and over again. try different things like squealies, alternate picking licks, some dives on the wammy bar...u know, be adventurous.

But i really love the main riff. Just don't use it too much.


Thanks for the crit man
dsgn09
Malo Mori
Join date: Dec 2008
209 IQ
#4
I thought it was alright. Like windrider13 said, the vocals were kind of weird - i ended up muting them about halfway through the song.

I really enjoyed how the song kept the flow going throughout the entire song. The breakdowns reminded me of bury your dead. Generic, yes, but they worked for the song.

Overall, i'd say just try to mix things up a little bit. It got sort of repetitive and predictable around the middle.
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actaderock
UG's Paisa
Join date: Apr 2008
2,570 IQ
#5
sorry for responding so late

the only thing i dont like about the song is the second solo

but let me tell you it has amazing riffs, the melody fits in perfectly, the drumming fits and gives power to the piece, first solo was amazing specially the tapping

9/10
guitar ben94
plays guitar.
Join date: Mar 2009
1,291 IQ
#6
Quote by actaderock
sorry for responding so late

the only thing i dont like about the song is the second solo

but let me tell you it has amazing riffs, the melody fits in perfectly, the drumming fits and gives power to the piece, first solo was amazing specially the tapping

9/10


Thanks for the crit man.
guitar ben94
plays guitar.
Join date: Mar 2009
1,291 IQ
#7
Changed a few things. Do the changes make it better at all? Added a new riff for the second verse, changed the second solo and changed the drums a little.

Thanks.
Attachments:
My Past Life 2.zip
aCloudConnected
dead
Join date: Jan 2010
984 IQ
#8
Thanks for the crit on mine. This is a crit on the new one you just posted.

This song has a nice groove to it, like it'd be a really good mosh song. Very nice riffing. The solo that came in at 57 was out of nowhere, and it sounded somewhat unnatural. I don't know if there's a way you could make it come in easier or not, but I think it would make it sound better. At 109, I think you should change to drums, maybe to just a breakdownish beat with a cymbal hit on every quarter note.

Other than that, very sweet. 9/10
Myung'sMusicman
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2007
513 IQ
#9
The intro 1-16 I really really liked. I thought it was great really gets you hooked into the song...

17-24 Pretty powerful riff.

25-32 The melody here is great. I love it the second guitar sound really great over the intro riff.

33-40 Good transition section to a slower heavier feel. Well thats what i get. I liked it \

41-56 Maybe this was the transition section to the solo. (I am criting as I listen haha)

57-72 Good lead... I'm really liking this song so far

73-88 back to the heavy slower riff. I like it

89-92- Gets you prepared for a change! Fits well here

93-124 i liked this for the most part. The riff that you use a couple times it's used in bar 100) probably sounds better on a guitar than guitar pro. But on here it may just be to deep to sound good, it just doesn't strike me as much as some of the other things in the song. Not that it's bad. The second solo not my favorite type of solo but it fits the song and that's what it is meant to do. So I can't knock it, it's just not my favorite type of solo. But overall this section was good just not my favorite

124-140 This is my favorite riff of the song so far. It was awesome.

141-End Good ending riff may have ended to sudden but still good way to take it out


Overall I give it an 8/10 I really liked it! Good job man I'm looking forward to some more stuff!