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#1
So I was sitting down on the train without a booked seat and a lady came up and started yelling because I was in her seat apparently.




I was in sub-way and ordered a footlong, the guy behind the counter misheard me and got the wrong bread at first, he asked if it was the right bread and I said no. He sighed loudly and got the bread I wanted.




I forgot the pin-number for my mastercard while shopping and had to pay mostly by coins. This took some time because all I had were coins and you have to put them inside some machine that malfunctions every other coin. The queue behind me was quite long and they looked annoyed.




Now you go.
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#2
I pronounced your name K-Gell

You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#5
I'm creating my own country and offering provinces and citizenship to UGers.

THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2017: 75-87
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2017: 4-5
2017 NFL Pick 'Em: 92-54
#6
I was at an audition to have my picture used for a "U mad" meme. I waited with some other guys to find out whether we got the part or not. The interviewer came out, said thanks to us all, and congratulated this black dude. The black dude came up to me and said:

#9
I was able to dry hump a chick in a very busy subway.
Quote by lolmnt
We're better than Mexico cuz we rule USA USA USA
#10
Quote by hobson111
What?


Post situations where you annoyed/infuriated people and end them with "u mad?".

Quote by archangels666
This thread sucks.


...Nope. That's it.

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#13
I am a white man residing in Arizona, and our state passed legislation to help identify and deport illegal immigrants by allowing police to ask them to present documentation offering evidence that they are legal US citizens, however many legitimate Mexican-American's are being pestered by the police as well.

#14
I make hats in the 19th century!

Now 100% humour free, in accordance with the rules.

.fm
.wordpress
Last edited by Fleabag at May 17, 2010,
#16
I whistled for a cab and when it came near I realised I had no money to pay so I sent the cabbie on his way.



I just modified a stale meme to suit my needs.

🙈 🙉 🙊
#17
I asked some twat at ASDA whether they had any copies of the new Dead Weather album, to which they replied 'if it's not on the shelf, we don't have it'. They then turned and vanished to the special place where customers can't see before I could enquire further.

#18
I was at a gas station in Mississauga and it was raining and kinda busy. So, I filled up the tank and went in to pay (there's signs saying to not move your car before) and as I was paying I could see the woman in the car behind me pointing and flailing her arms at my car. So, I payed and walked to my car and said:

Quote by DieGarbageMan
can i get a tl;dr up in this bitch?

A mod makes a joke and hi-jacks a thread...

Quote by paintITblack39
usually, this is often discussed in the political threads ...

let's change the question: are you pro or antti niemi?
#19
Quote by Ichikurosaki
Man, if only you were called Dio, i could quote Jojo abridged as a brilliant comeback.

**** you and your stupid name that isn't Dio.


Do it anyway, we're on the internet, comebacks don't have to make sense.
THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2017: 75-87
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2017: 4-5
2017 NFL Pick 'Em: 92-54
#20
I went on a popular news show and ridiculed the host by saying,



Long story short, he mad.
LARGE TEXT
#21
I just commented on a thread about this guy who wanted to find out what happens if you put a mirror in a photocopy machine regardless of any consequences it could have on the time space continuum
Quote by God
I'm Omnipotent, which is to say that my dick eats both meat and plants


Ronnie and Steele, Rockstars today aint half as real.

R.I.P. Ronnie James Dio & Peter Steele
#22
Quote by Ichikurosaki
Man, if only you were called Dio, i could quote Jojo abridged as a brilliant comeback.

**** you and your stupid name that isn't Dio.

...


This one time I trolled Ichikurosaki in the Pit.
Quote by lolmnt
We're better than Mexico cuz we rule USA USA USA
#23
I just denied noam chomsky entry to the west bank

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#25
I was getting the bus early today back home from school. The bus stop is at Tesco, and a guy walks on with two open 4 pint bottles of milk. The bus goes through a lot of country lanes which are very bumpy, and every time he nearly spilt milk, he'd shout and swear at the two lidless bottles of milk.
"If God exists, there's no way he is French" - Andrea Pirlo

S A D B O Y S
#26
Was driving about the other week and some bimbo in a Beemer was tail-gating me like a champ. When we came to a stop and start I let the car roll back a few, she started tooting her horn like a pro so I just gave her a troll smile in the mirror.

#27
Quote by k3v1n shr3dz
can i post a picture with dicks in it?

No, you can't.
Attachments:
x1imfc.jpg
Quote by damole
what is fap?
#28
I was in the McDrive with a few friends last thursday. We were riding on bycicles. Because we had some alcoholic beverages, one of us fell and we needed some time to get him back up. It took some time. Behind me sat a fat german guy in an Audi. He looked at us in an angry way.
Oh, you wouldn't want an angel watching over
Surprise, surprise, they wouldn't wanna watch
#32
I danced with this girl at a wedding and apparently her parents disprove of me but they were still like



MC name = Bearrorism
#33
I totally highjacked the above users thread and confused and annoyed the shit out of everyone, including myself.

and now I'm here to brag about it.

You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#34
Quote by the bartender
I totally highjacked the above users thread and confused and annoyed the shit out of everyone, including myself.

and now I'm here to brag about it.




I am a better guitarist than the lead guitarist in my band, so I am shunned from playing lead
So I play lead bass


MC name = Bearrorism
#36
I was sitting on the grass with some friends then some buggers threw a sandwich at us. One friend went to throw it back but threw it right into my mouth.



Needless to say death soon ensued
They made me do push ups in drag

I'm gonna have a really hard time if we're both cannibals and racists.

Don't dress as a whore, he'll thump you.

I'm a firework, primed to go off
#37
Quote by padgea7x
I was sitting on the grass with some friends then some buggers threw a sandwich at us. One friend went to throw it back but threw it right into my mouth.



MC name = Bearrorism
#38
I was listing to my ex gf rant and rant about some pointless bull not to long ago
she realized i wasn't paying attention, i asked
Quote by JacobTheMe
JacobTheEdit: Hell yeah Ruben.

Quote by Jackal58
I met Jesus once. Cocksucker still owes me 20 bucks.
#39
This thread would be better if everyone would use different U mad? pics.

Carry on then, a prize of nothing to the first person to quote me with a U mad.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#40
Quote by SteveHouse
This thread would be better if everyone would use different U mad? pics.

Carry on then, a prize of nothing to the first person to quote me with a U mad.



nah that would be too obvious
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
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