#2
damn bro, really loved those harmonics at the beginning of the song. Your phrasing kinda reminds me of Steve Vai, but with a nice original twist, which is good.
Really digging the riff around 1:48, very nice.
very nice and clean playing throughout the whole thing, you're not trying to play beyond your capabilites, which is of course exactly how to do it.

During that tapping lick, I was expecting the rythym to change around a bit, perhaps to put accents behind the tapping.

that pause around the 4:00 mark is a little to long, I thought there was something wrong with the recording and skipped ahead.

Loved the ending, damn good playing, bro.

crit back?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1314462
#3
Thanks! The harmonics were sorta of a last minute addition actually, I was just sorta messing around waiting for cubase to render the track and was like "Hey, that sounds cool..." That pause was sort of hard to get right too, I was constantly second guessing where I had it -_-

Anyways thanks a ton for the crit man! I can't seem to get your track to load??



Quote by Four-Strings
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#4
Interesting stuff there. Gotta say I really liked it very well done don't know what you could've done to make it any better. Nice tapping and harmonics.

Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=24146608#post24146608
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#5
I like the clean tone and chords, very chill. The harmonics, too. The lead tone, to me, is a bit abrasive, but it comes in strong, which I like. I liked the weird tapping sliding thing, sounded exotic.

1:44 was pretty badass, the transition I mean, really cool. At this point I noticed that there isn't much bottom end, though. No bass? Or is it really low, whichever the case is, the song would benefit from it.

The return to the clean was a bit abrupt and awkward, I'd take a second look at that part. I like how it all returned to the intro, or... the sunset. :P

Sweet track, I liked it. Good job.
Last edited by peacemaker898 at May 17, 2010,
#6
Thanks! Yeah, I need to correct that bit at the end, it feels like there needs to be something in that pause. I was thinking of putting a swirling sort of sound there and have that fade out as the return comes in, but I haven't really worked on it...I'm sort of lost on how to get that part done...

Also yeah, I haven't got a bass...I was going to just use an octave pedal in Amplitube or something, but that's another thing I'm probably going to work on later today xD



Quote by Four-Strings
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#7
So I updated the track! I added a really simple bass part using an octave pedal in Amplitube and added an ambient bit at the ending to ease the transition. I'm not really sure if it's really any better though so I turn to you guys again ^_^



Quote by Four-Strings
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#8
didn't hear the first recording you have of this. But anyway. I am digging this alot man. especially when it gets heavy. I love the riffage man. Reminds me of "The Metal" by tenacious D. The only thing I would do, and this is personal, is I would add some delay to the lead tone or reverb, or a little of both. But thats just me. Woah, everything just stopped tripped me out. I don't know what to make of it. I love the ambiance, and it does flow well into the clean tone again. But it was just an abrupt way to kill the heavy riffing guitars. Maybe you could hold out a chord your rhythm is playing along with a lead note and fade them out, and have the ambiance sounding groove fade in like you did. But I did really enjoy this musically speaking. Great stuff.


here goes a little ditty of my own

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1314736

you don't have to crit the whole thing as its not all completed, just the solo would be appreciated.
anybody wanna put anything here just let me know
Last edited by societies_worm at May 18, 2010,
#10
Nice song bro, just make sure it's not too choppy in the beginning, and make sure the pentatonic shreddingness is in time in the middle, it went out of time for like a beat.
I love the intro and outro though!
#11
Quote by Meelad360
Nice song bro, just make sure it's not too choppy in the beginning, and make sure the pentatonic shreddingness is in time in the middle, it went out of time for like a beat.
I love the intro and outro though!



I like to think of the intro and outro on this as the "Sunset" itself, and everything between the sunsets is the chaos, drama, and business, throughout night unto the day before the sunset appears again.
anybody wanna put anything here just let me know
#12
pretty solid stuff dude, i'm listening to it right now but i think you got make an effort to really bend those bends cause they sound shy of hitting the mark when i listen to them. otherwise everything was pretty spot on dude, love your tone especially.

if you can C4C friend

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1313256
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#13
Quote by societies_worm
I like to think of the intro and outro on this as the "Sunset" itself, and everything between the sunsets is the chaos, drama, and business, throughout night unto the day before the sunset appears again.

Haha, that's actually... a spot on interpretation. I was hoping someone would pick up on it, though I guess the title doesn't hint enough ^_^

Meelad: Yeah, I got a bit carried away there and forgot where I was almost...always happens to me

Hart_Attack: Yeah, my bends are...I dunno. I think my guitar was starting to go out of tune, but I'm not sure. I always used to over-bend, so I guess I was compensating for that by under-bending. But that aside, I'm on my way now to crit your stuff!



Quote by Four-Strings
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#14
I'm going to comment on this as I go. Liking the intro to it, only tonal issue I can pick out is in the clean guitar there's some "clicking" which I imagine is pick noise. I'd try to EQ that down. The lead guitar parts so far are very nice, but as you said, some of the bends don't quite "make it," if you know what I mean. For the change at about 1:46, I'm not a big fan of the tone... it gets better when you go into the actual riffage, but it seems too saturated for my tastes. That could just be me, though. At the fast part starting right before 3 minutes in, you seem to get out of time here and there as well. I like how you've been using harmonics throughout the song, by the way: they're not overused, but they add a nice element to it. And the pause at 4 minutes needs to have something going on. Maybe have it fade out somehow and into the more atmospheric stuff you have going on now. The guitar fading in and out reminds me of the song I'm going to ask you to crit, actually, sort of funny in a way. This last part is nice, though the recording seems to clip on many occasions. The ending also didn't feel quite right, why not slow down the tempo and end on a tonic chord instead of fading out?

Even with the wall of criticisms I just typed, I did like this song overall. I'm just nitpicky when I crit things, but hey, that can only be helpful to you, right?

C4C link is in my sig, when you can get to it.
#15
Blue: I actually love nit-picky crits, far more beneficial than just going "I liked it! Crit me please." That and it makes me actually want to give someone's track a detailed listen. But anyway.

The clicking isn't from pick noise, because I don't use a pick there xD I think the clicking is actually because I'm having clocking issues with my interface. It's not always there when I play it back in Cubase, but sometimes it gets overloaded and I can't seem to predict or prevent it -_-

Also I was initially thinking of doing like a classical kind of cadence, but I decided against it when I did all the swirly stuff because it sort of makes the song feel like it goes full circle, since it goes out the same way it came in. It's in Gb Major and the chords are really simple, D, C, G, C...but excluding the G they're all appogiaturas(unprepared suspensions).

Anyways I'm gonna reboot into XP so I can tweak the bass part so you can actually hear it, and I'll crit your track sometime before that.



Quote by Four-Strings
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#16
For the chords, I'm assuming you mean Db, Cb, etc. But even so, it feels like there should be a chord of some sort held at the end of the song to me. Maybe make it a plagal half by ending on a Cb chord, or just normal half cadence with a Db. And ending with a sus2 chord I think could sound cool with it, though I would have to hear it to see. Either way, just some ideas to mess around with.
#17
I updated the track YET AGAIN. Now the bass should be a lot better, and the ending doesn't have that weird gap anymore. So...anyone wanting to crit those parts, I'd appreciate it ^_^

Blue: Yeah, that's what I meant >.<

Yeah, I sort of get what you're saying. I'm assuming by plagal you mean IV - I. I don't know what a sus2 chord is though, I didn't get to that in my theory 2 class -_-

I'll toy around with ending it, but to be honest I sort of like the fade out. I could just pull up that last harmonic to make things easier, since it is actually Gb...sorta meet you halfway xD



Quote by Four-Strings
I want to screw my sister.
#18
Damn man, good job with the harmonics. The intro solo was great, I love your tone and your playing. I love how it totally gets heavy at about 1 43, loved it! Your playing is so great. The ending was great, it totally tied up the song if you get what I mean. Great playing dude, great composing, I can't wait to hear more stuff like this. KEEP IT UP!...(thats what she said haha)

Can you critique some of my songs? http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/inyourgirlagain/music/
#19
nice one... Im a big fan of instrumental songs.. and u did a good job with this one... although it sounded like a lot of other guitarist like Brian Tarquin, Rob Balducci and some others who I find to have a quite similar pattern to their song....

The song is nicely done so I dont want to say anything about it... keep up the good work... and while doing it try to find the uniqueness of ur playing and put it into ur songs..

C4C https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1315445

~Cheers~
#20
Love that clean tone! But I'm not "In love" with the lead part. The tone (to my ears) sounds just a little muddy. There are hints of timing in some spots but over all very very well played. Oh and this is just a side note but are you clipping a little bit? Keep up the great work man!
#21
Kevin: According to Cubase the clips are under control, but I think I'm having a clocking issue of some sort. It's really only present in tracks that use VST plugins; I tried for a long time to get rid of it but I can't seem to correct it so I just sort of gave up >.<

jemeput: I'll crit your song tomorrow, I'm having a driver issue with my interface and I can't seem to get my default sound card to work >.<



Quote by Four-Strings
I want to screw my sister.