gilly_90
Planet Smasher
Join date: Feb 2009
1,261 IQ
#1
Hi guys, its been a while since I was on this section of the forums, just looking for some input

C4C of course
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Okay guys, I have a confession to make. Not really a confession since it's something that's been bugging me for awhile but I've always been in denial about it.

**** you gilly, it's not what you think
huevos
Signt, oo Jaed?
Join date: Feb 2007
1,892 IQ
#2
The intro reminded a good bit of Agalloch and Warning. If it was recorded live, it would be a crushing riff.

Bassline transition was good, if not a bit sudden. I don't really see what you can with it here, so I would disregard that.

Thrashy verse riffs are tasty. They have a good level of intensity. I do prefer the more groovier part of these riffs.

Chorus just does not work. It's a bit too slow, and doesn't really do anything for me. Nor does the chorus with the leads in it. Sorry it was the interlude section.
But the chorus/interlude/bridge does not affect me at all. I think if you referenced the intro riff in these sections it would be a lot stronger.

I could see that with thrash that you don't wanna go too complex, as you lose a lot of the momentum in the confusion. This song is somewhat simple, but truly effective in the thrash game. I would say that you should strengthen the Chorus section. Something doomish would help. Either that, or make it groovy.
DaddyTwoFoot
Barned
Join date: Oct 2004
338 IQ
#3
Gotta give a giant +1 to everything heuvos said. Spot-on.
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wannabe_punk
has a bucket
Join date: Sep 2004
582 IQ
#4
Quote by DaddyTwoFoot
Gotta give a giant +1 to everything heuvos said. Spot-on.
same
seems like a waste of a post
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gilly_90
Planet Smasher
Join date: Feb 2009
1,261 IQ
#5
do you guys think it would help if I added a lead line to the chorus? Keeping in mind it would have vocals too. Or do you all think I should scrap the chorus I have completely?
Quote by UraniYum
Fuck you I'm trying to be caring and shit


Quote by Cb4rabid
Okay guys, I have a confession to make. Not really a confession since it's something that's been bugging me for awhile but I've always been in denial about it.

**** you gilly, it's not what you think
Kwonnie
UG Senior Member
Join date: Nov 2008
9,407 IQ
#6
Definitely felt more metalcore than thrash to me. Just kind of upbeat. Song is still -okay-. And it's always okay to attempt a bass solo but I wasn't feeling it to be honest. That or the guitar solo.
gilly_90
Planet Smasher
Join date: Feb 2009
1,261 IQ
#7
I appreciate the input.

And, yeah, it's obvious in this song that I play bass
Quote by UraniYum
Fuck you I'm trying to be caring and shit


Quote by Cb4rabid
Okay guys, I have a confession to make. Not really a confession since it's something that's been bugging me for awhile but I've always been in denial about it.

**** you gilly, it's not what you think
actaderock
UG's Paisa
Join date: Apr 2008
2,570 IQ
#8
simple but really good intro, you kinda had a good idea for some build up to kick in to the hard part but i think you messed it

the main riff sounds OK anyways

good solo

the chorus kinda belongs to a punk song

7.5/10
wannabe_punk
has a bucket
Join date: Sep 2004
582 IQ
#9
Quote by gilly_90
do you guys think it would help if I added a lead line to the chorus? Keeping in mind it would have vocals too. Or do you all think I should scrap the chorus I have completely?
my idea of a "chorus" involves something that the audience can enjoy screaming along to, so i try to write guitar parts with a lot of long notes/chords that allow space for the (hypothetical) vocals to take over and command attention.

this article helped me come up with a chorus riff for a sludge/thrash song i wrote recently, see if it gives you any ideas
Quote by FlyingFuc!<
i read on the toilet.
sometimes i'm even on UG or AIM.
laptops + wireless = The Pit on the toilet.
Quote by RinestoneCowboy
Cannibal Corpse transcend genres and stereotypes with their emotional and heartfelt take on music.