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#1
I need to find 50 different 'creative' ways to prevent my bike from getting stolen when I park it somewhere. I need to find this for my class creativity in college.

I thought the pit would be brilliant enough to find a few ways.
It can be strange or absurd.
#2
have a shit on the seat... no one will get a bike with shit on the seat.
Gear:
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Jack and Danny Brothers Ls-5
Ibanez Gsa 60
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Zoom g9.2tt (for sale (NL))
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Blackheart Little Giant
#5
Remove bikeseat and replace with some kind of blade. Then proceed to lube up the handlebar rubbers (make sure you have a clean replacement for yourself). If anyone DOES steal it...then they will indeed have a sliced up asshole.
Some people like cupcakes exclusively, while myself, I say there is naught nor ought there be nothing so exalted on the face of God's grey Earth as that prince of foods:



the muffin!
#7
Might wanna put a lock on it, problem solved

Was that so hard?
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$0 for volunteer work

ollollolollol


^
#8
Quote by sebastian_96
Remove bikeseat and replace with some kind of blade. Then proceed to lube up the handlebar rubbers (make sure you have a clean replacement for yourself). If anyone DOES steal it...then they will indeed have a sliced up asshole.



Awsome. I also lol'd.
#9
park it next to a better bike?
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#10
Take a Dave Grohl sized dump around your bicycle thus creating a crap moat. (Will work only if you park it away from Taco Bell )
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#11
Dip it in a used nuclear reactor. When it is stolen, follow the glow and the cancer trail.

/

Get a guard hamster, hide it in the handle bars.

/


Buy a lion and cut off its head, stick it on the handlebars. Anyone will be scared to death.

/

Cut the breaks, pedals, spokes, handlebars and frame off.

/

Put a monkey Rent-a-cop in a baby seat on the back.


Happy?

Time on earth is like butterscotch; you really want more, even though it will probably just make you ill.



Certified lurker
#12
Put it high up in a tree.
Set up speakers to play death metal near it.
Take of the wheels when you leave it.
#13
How about... you don´t get off your bike and you are wielding this huge ass sized excalibur look a like dagger with like fucking blood all over it..yeeeah that should scare some homeboys away from your 3 dollar bike. right?
Quote by Holy Katana
Your last job only paid you $7.00 AUD an hour? That's like $6.05 in the US. What the hell is the minimum wage over there?


Quote by titsmcgee852
$0 for volunteer work

ollollolollol


^
#14
Quote by Henkdemachtige
Might wanna put a lock on it, problem solved

Was that so hard?



It's not creative though

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#15
Hang a sign from the frame reading:

Made in Canada
Some people like cupcakes exclusively, while myself, I say there is naught nor ought there be nothing so exalted on the face of God's grey Earth as that prince of foods:



the muffin!
#16
Quote by sebastian_96
Hang a sign from the frame reading:


Or 'May contain swine flu'

Time on earth is like butterscotch; you really want more, even though it will probably just make you ill.



Certified lurker
#18
Quote by IYanoplathizoI
Or 'May contain swine flu'


Swine flu?
It's all about the Exploding head syndrome now!
Some people like cupcakes exclusively, while myself, I say there is naught nor ought there be nothing so exalted on the face of God's grey Earth as that prince of foods:



the muffin!
#19
Don't live in a neighbourhood with ethnic minorities. That one always causes a stir =]

A sign saying wet paint.

A bike lock attached to another bike lock attached.... etc until its like a bike lock rope to your leg.

Tie your siberian tiger or equally large and vicious pet/goldfish to the bike.

Hire a bodyguard with as many rolls of fat on the back of his neck as possible.

Buy a car.
Check out my Tumblr
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#20
I was thinking about using mirrors so noone would see the bike. Like the magiscian making an elephant disappear by using mirrors
#22
Don't take your bike into bad neighborhoods.
do you love...ARSIS
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#23
Guard it with a gun
455 75 34 88


(´・ω・`)


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#24
Get snipers on surrounding rooftops to cover possible routes of advance on said bicycle.
Yours sincerely,

bobwentpop, UG's favourite spontaneous combustion victim.
#25
Quote by Palodigon
I was thinking about using mirrors so noone would see the bike. Like the magiscian making an elephant disappear by using mirrors

That's pretty creative actually.

What about folding up your folding bike en setting up your folded-up fake memorial (pretty much a box that fits around your bike) around it?
#26
get a kiddy seat on the back, and leave an infant in it all day.
2009 Gibson Explorer - 2008 Washburn Idol WI45f - 1965 MiJ Ibanez Salvador Classical
Bogner Alchemist 40w 1x12" - Marshall MG10CD
#27
Do a mr bean and take the handle bars off.
MaKing thE possiBlE...
...totaLlY impossible
#28
Hire a gang of ethnic minorities to stand around it doing general minority standing around shit
I've Made You A Drawing of a Giraffe Fucking an Elephant. Notice How His Moustache Looks Just Like Mine.

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#29
Creativity Class? Nice to know the US government spends money on proper education! But then again I guess we have General Studies here.
#30
lol no1 said it?
jizz all over it
lol:
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#32
Quote by RyanGillam
Creativity Class? Nice to know the US government spends money on proper education! But then again I guess we have General Studies here.

Creativity sounds like a great quality to have and stimulate if you ask me. Maybe something as vague as 'creativity class' pushes it a bit, but the idea is far from terrible.
#33
Keep it inside, Clyde
Just use a lock, Brock
Take off the wheels, Amiel

There must be 50 ways to keep your bike.
#34
Bomb?...
John Frusciante
Slash
Jeff Beck
Matt Bellamy
Jack White

HT-5 Owners Thread

Owner of an 1/4 watt custom combo.

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#35
Quote by jimmy_neutron
Sell it. Then its not your bike.

Quote by southpaw91
park it next to a better bike?

I feel these two are the most creative so far. The most clever, in any case.


But the general concensus seems to be cover it in some kind of bodily fluid.
#37
Before parking it, find every shifty-looking individual in the surrounding area and buy them their own bike.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
#39
Ride it into the store when you're buying your tampons.
Tie the wheels together.
Take the seat.
Hide it.
Put it in your pocket.
Dress it as a police bike.
#40
Replace the round rubber wheels with square rocks like on the Flintstones, also remove the handle bars.

Eat your bike.

Hand it over to the thief, thus rendering it a gift and not technically stolen.

Wrap it up and send it to yourself by Royal Mail Special Delivery, tell them that it is urgent that it arrives at its destination the very next day and make a note of the 28 digit consignment code they give you. After 4-6 weeks phone them up and ask what has happened, they will ask you for the code which will "not be recognized" by their system and ask you to prove that you actually did send the bike. It will be impossible to prove as there is no record of it ever existing; thus rendering it inexistent and not technically stolen.

Get your dad to put a nifty little lock on it.
Last edited by Calibos at May 19, 2010,
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