Poll: you ever c*ckblock somebody? did I ruin my friends chances that night?
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View poll results: you ever c*ckblock somebody? did I ruin my friends chances that night?
Yeah, I've c*ckblocked people before
26 35%
No self-respecting person would ever c*ckblock a friend bro
7 9%
Yes, that was a dick move bro
8 11%
No, because you weren't consciously cockblocking him at the time
6 8%
Man f*ck that guy. He shouldn't have brought that shit up, he deserved it
4 5%
I woulda kicked your ass if you did that to me
5 7%
You're both assholes. f*ck all of you
19 25%
Voters: 75.
#1
and I'm just talking about ruining someone's chances with a girl, but with anything. Drop some stories if you have. Here's my story of accidentally cockblocking one of my friends

me, my girl, her friend, and my one of my boys Brandon were all chilling at my house drinking, shooting the shit, telling random stories to pass time. We were all laughing and having a good time until Brandon brought up a story of when I barfed in his basement this one time from drinking too much. Him and the girls were laughing hysterically when he was telling the story and describing how sickI was.. so I got a little pissed about that. So after I brought up a story when Brandon drank so much he started crying and blubbering like a girl because he thought we all hated him. The atmosphere kinda changed after that and we started talking about different things until my girl's friend left. Then it was kinda awkward with him still there so he left soon after. The story I told about him kinda killed the mood, so I felt a little bad. At the time it didnt occur to me that I was cockblocking his chances with the other chick when I told that story, but now that I look back on it I probably did

ah well, what can ya do? **** it.
#2
Frequently. It is so unbelievably fun.

me, my girl, her friend, and my one of my boys Brandon were all chilling at my house drinking, shooting the shit, telling random stories to pass time.


One of your boys Brandon? I'm not even going to bother lovingly tongueing some innuendo out of that one.
Last edited by webbtje at May 20, 2010,
#3
Quote by webbtje
Frequently. It is so unbelievably fun.


Pretty much this.
Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


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I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#4
Quote by black_chamber
and I'm just talking about ruining someone's chances with a girl, but with anything. Drop some stories if you have. Here's my story of accidentally cockblocking one of my friends

me, my girl, her friend, and my one of my boys Brandon were all chilling at my house drinking, shooting the shit, telling random stories to pass time. We were all laughing and having a good time until Brandon brought up a story of when I barfed in his basement this one time from drinking too much. Him and the girls were laughing hysterically when he was telling the story and describing how sickI was.. so I got a little pissed about that. So after I brought up a story when Brandon drank so much he started crying and blubbering like a girl because he thought we all hated him. The atmosphere kinda changed after that and we started talking about different things until my girl's friend left. Then it was kinda awkward with him still there so he left soon after. The story I told about him kinda killed the mood, so I felt a little bad. At the time it didnt occur to me that I was cockblocking his chances with the other chick when I told that story, but now that I look back on it I probably did

ah well, what can ya do? **** it.

That story was no way near as interesting as I thought it would be...
#6
I guess so. One time my best friend was drunk and some guy was trying to take her to a bedroom, I knew that she didn't know him and didn't really know what was going on. So I had to step in.
#8
Would you consider it cockblocking if the girl asks you to 'save' her from their advances?
Guitar - The true Religion
#9
hahahha i dont **** block, i steal his meal hahaha im the ultimate lunch cutter
#10
Yeah, when a female friend and a male friend who happens to be an enormous flirt met for the first time, because she has a fiance. And he would sleep with her and never call her again.
#14
Yes... but it was a lot more blunt than yours.

I was at a party with some friends... and I saw my brother (actual brother) go upstairs with a girl. So I gave it about 5 minutes then walked upstairs and started going through rooms. I found the room, opened the door and just said, "she has an STD" and then closed the door. She did have one... she gave it to another one of my friends as well.
#15
I cockblock because female friends of mine cannot make their own sexual decisions, and I'm hugely jealous of her having any sort of relation with any other man, although I don't have the bollocks to make any advance myself. I mask all this with a fake sense of 'protection' and 'looking out for her'.
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#16
One time I barged into a room where my mate was having dirty filthy underage sex.

Needless to say, I took off my shirt and began to sing Take that - Relight my fire.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reWpbs334KI
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#17
I reckon he was fair game.

In our house, we pick someone to be cockblocked for the night. They get man points for actually managing to get with a girl despite our best efforts. To put this into perspective, that would be a minimum of 5 people cockblocking one person at any given time.

I'm also planning on cockblocking one of my flatmate's "friends". He says he has a girlfriend, but the amount he flirts with my flatmate is ridiculous. It's not just platonic. My flatmate is pretty sheltered so despite her being exactly a year older than me, I don't want her getting into something she isn't comfortable with or doesn't understand.

I'm also required to cuntshunt girls away from my boyfriend. Well, not required, he turns them down too, but I like doing it. It's bad enough my flatmates have a man crush on him.
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#18
Quote by OddOneOut
I'm also required to cuntshunt girls away from my boyfriend. Well, not required, he turns them down too, but I like doing it. It's bad enough my flatmates have a man crush on him.



Now that is a genius word I've not heard before.
#20
Quote by OddOneOut
cuntshunt


That's new.

I suppose one does need to make a female equivalent.
Quote by DrewsGotTheLife
yea man, who ever doesnt like pantera or think they suck doesnt like metal, end of discussion, they changed the freakin world n made history, so don't be sayin they suck, have respect, same goes for machine head n lamb of god cuz their good too
#21
I c*ckblocked a mate, it was hilarious. We were in a club, he was dancing with a girl and I decided I would go up behind him, grind him and kiss his neck - fun times.
Quote by Kensai
Please, I eat gays for breakfast...

Quote by Kensai
I must be even further in the closet then
#22
Yes

Ever been cockblocked by a girl?
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#23
I have. I was screwin my girl and this big ugly redhead called and said she was comin to pick her up. I hate that girl....

Oh and these two nasty people were makin out on the bus one time and i was makin sexual noises behind them and they stopped..... good times
#26
Quote by Hidden Hippo
I c*ckblocked a mate, it was hilarious. We were in a club, he was dancing with a girl and I decided I would go up behind him, grind him and kiss his neck - fun times.

That's disgusting.

But funny.
#27
Once, it was a lot of work, but soooooo worth it.

One day I was just minding my own business at home, when all of a sudden, my friend Brad phoned me. He told me that he had some awesome news and that he was on his way with Shaun to come and pick me up. I had no idea what it was but I figured that it was something to do with our other friend, Luke, as the 3 of them had been hanging out that day and they failed to mention that Luke was also in the car (also Luke is our bitch friend, the one that you do shit to and he takes it).

Anyway, Brad and Shaun arrive and quickly usher me into the back of the car as they brief me on the situation. Turns out that Luke had asked Brad if he could use his computer to "check his work email", they smelt bullshit and started asking what he was really doing but he just said he needed to check something. Anyway, they hand me a piece of paper and I immediately notice the Holiday Inn logo at the top of the page, the poor fool had left the confirmation page open in the browser. I had a quick skim through the details:

"Thank you for booking with Holiday Inn blah blah blah Single 2 person room, double bed, smoking blah blah card details blah blah billed to Mr. Luke blah blah if there are any changes that need to be made blah blah phone this number".

Before I could say anything, I heard Shaun talking to someone on the phone:

"Hello? Yes, I just booked a room on your website and I think I made a mistake, could you please confirm the details for me?.....Yes, my name is Luke.....yes I have my booking reference number here....yes it's (insert number)...yeah it says that I ordered a single smoking room...yes i'd like to change that please.....yeah, no smoking please....yes a single bed too...no that won’t be necessary…ok thank you!".

I was quite happy to leave it there, but Brad decided that he wanted to see what behemoth that Luke was trying to screw so he started to drive us to the Hotel where Luke was staying.

We had a look around the car park just to make sure he wasn't there and then made our way inside, we wasn't entirely sure what time he would be getting there so we decided to hang out in the lobby bar and just wait for him to show up. Obviously, we had to be discreet so we were hiding behind newspapers with holes cut out like in crap spy films, we were in perfect view of reception so we had to make sure he didn’t spot us straight away.

After about an hour, he finally showed up with this girl; we could not make out what they were saying but Luke had a puzzled look on his face and was flailing his arms wildly as he spoke to the receptionist, I assume she was telling him about the changes made to the room (single bed, lol).

Anyway, after they finished talking they made their way upstairs to their room. We tried to follow them up there but it was deemed too risky, we didn't want to blow our cover just yet so we made our way outside to the garden/playground area where the room windows were visible.

We figured he would be ready to get down to business straightaway so we started sending him texts saying that we were going to a party and that we're on our way to pick him up, he didn't respond so we tried phoning him, again no response. As luck would have it, just when we decided it was time to go home, Luke appeared at one of the windows; he opened the curtains and spotted us - he didn't look happy.

...

I gotta do some work now, but i'll tell the rest of the story later - unless it's boring, in which case i'll stop
#28
So she left after casual conversation?

How is that a c*ckblock? If you had've said "They were about to leave and go back to his place alone when i said, "Oh hey, Brandon, how's that case of the clap treating you?" and then she looked at him all weird and she left with her other friend instead" Then yes, c*ckblock.

Also, i have never c*ckblocked anyone, but i would if given the opportunity.
#29
I cockblock myself on a regular basis.

Quote by ZanasCross

I was at a party with some friends... and I saw my brother (actual brother) go upstairs with a girl. So I gave it about 5 minutes then walked upstairs and started going through rooms. I found the room, opened the door and just said, "she has an STD" and then closed the door. She did have one... she gave it to another one of my friends as well.


Good job you picked the right room, eh?
#30
I once had my friend cockblock me and then proceed to try to hook up with said girl.

You just don't do that shit.
I am a postmodern vegetarian, I eat meat ironically.
#31
Quote by Calibos
*Holiday Inn Cockblocking*



Such a dick move, but the fake reservation changes were hilarious. I'd like to know what happened next, tell us!
---

"L'esclave parfait est celui qui croit être libre."

---
#33
No, I'm more the type of guy that helps his friends getting hooked up.

EDIT: Actually, this one time a co-worker was trying to get it on with a girl inside a wardrobe. I told them to get the hell out of there because I was tasked to clean that wardrobe.
Last edited by The_Casinator at May 20, 2010,
#35
Quote by Butt Rayge
That's disgusting.

But funny.


Pssh, he was well aware I'm gay and it was revenge for an earlier incident.
Quote by Kensai
Please, I eat gays for breakfast...

Quote by Kensai
I must be even further in the closet then