#1
Just a part I've written for two harpsichords for a soundscape I have to write for my composition task at school. I would normally write what it's all about here but I'm aiming to convey a common emotion with this part of it and would like to know what your listeners feel/think when you hear it.

Tell me the feel you get from it and any suggestions for improvement or whatever and I'll return your crits This is an easy C4C here.
Attachments:
harpsichord part for soundscape.zip
#2
Well, if this isn't one of the most ridiculously awesome things I've heard in a long time!

The groove - especially in the first 9 bars - is absolutely incredible. I love those dissonant, syncopated sorts of grooves. At first, I wasn't a fan of the sextuplets underneath - I thought they cluttered the sound a bit and stole the groove's spotlight - , but on a second listen, it's surprisingly effective.

As for the soundscape itself, I'm getting mixed interpretations; on one hand, it could represent a character's downward spiral, but on the other hand, I can see this as a soundtrack piece for some form of cabaret dance movie - where the female protagonist is facing a complication with her manager, and there's a dramatic theater/opera-esque dialogue between them.

My only pickle with this one is that between bars 23 and 28, there's no real defined rhythmic motif, and the diminished runs starts getting stagnant, and seem to move without direction. The idea itself - vamping, or remaining static on one idea to create more tension - is solid, but maybe it could be established differently? (The more I listen, though, the more effective it is, but depending on the soundscape you're aiming to achieve, the over-the-top sextuplet use could do with some revising )

Also, I'm loving the last two bars - definitely keep them as is, because expanding in a piece of this nature could be damaging to the overall composition, but what I'd recommend is using that groove, and expanding on it/making variations for another piece of yours; base a riff or motif off of it and create a song in another genre, I guess. It's too good to go to waste!
As a final note, I really admire the trade-offs between both tracks, particularly at the start; very cool.

I'm not sure how helpful this will be, but if there's anything in particular that you're personally concerned about, I'll have a jab at offering ideas.

At the moment, I haven't got anything worth critting - major overhauls are underway! - , so would it be okay if I send you a link in a couple weeks or so with a link? Thanks in advance!



EDIT: By the way, how's business with the conservatory? I'm not sure if it's started yet, and I just remembered talking about it with you when you passed on the news.

Alex
Last edited by juckfush at May 22, 2010,
#3
Quote by juckfush
Well, if this isn't one of the most ridiculously awesome things I've heard in a long time!

The groove - especially in the first 9 bars - is absolutely incredible. I love those dissonant, syncopated sorts of grooves. At first, I wasn't a fan of the sextuplets underneath - I thought they cluttered the sound a bit and stole the groove's spotlight - , but on a second listen, it's surprisingly effective.

As for the soundscape itself, I'm getting mixed interpretations; on one hand, it could represent a character's downward spiral, but on the other hand, I can see this as a soundtrack piece for some form of cabaret dance movie - where the female protagonist is facing a complication with her manager, and there's a dramatic theater/opera-esque dialogue between them.

My only pickle with this one is that between bars 23 and 28, there's no real defined rhythmic motif, and the diminished runs starts getting stagnant, and seem to move without direction. The idea itself - vamping, or remaining static on one idea to create more tension - is solid, but maybe it could be established differently? (The more I listen, though, the more effective it is, but depending on the soundscape you're aiming to achieve, the over-the-top sextuplet use could do with some revising )

Also, I'm loving the last two bars - definitely keep them as is, because expanding in a piece of this nature could be damaging to the overall composition, but what I'd recommend is using that groove, and expanding on it/making variations for another piece of yours; base a riff or motif off of it and create a song in another genre, I guess. It's too good to go to waste!
As a final note, I really admire the trade-offs between both tracks, particularly at the start; very cool.

I'm not sure how helpful this will be, but if there's anything in particular that you're personally concerned about, I'll have a jab at offering ideas.

At the moment, I haven't got anything worth critting - major overhauls are underway! - , so would it be okay if I send you a link in a couple weeks or so with a link? Thanks in advance!



EDIT: By the way, how's business with the conservatory? I'm not sure if it's started yet, and I just remembered talking about it with you when you passed on the news.

Alex


Thanks for the quick and detailed comment, I really appreciate it.

I was thinking the same thing from bar 23-28, at about that point, I wasn't quite sure of how to exit the constant sextuplets so I just threw in the diminished chord before heading to the tonic

I quite like your 2nd interpretation of what my soundscape is about even though it's not what I was aiming for, it gives me further ideas of how else to go about it so thanks for that one.

Good suggestion on expanding on the last two bars as a rhythmic motif, I hadn't even thought of it until you spotted it so thanks for that, I probably would have done something entirely else if it weren't for you.

Anyway, thanks for the quick comment, you offered a new and great perspective for me to approach it from so yes, you were quite helpful there. Of course I'll crit any of your works that you link me in the future, no rush to get one finished for me to crit either, I'll crit it anytime.

The Conservatorium's great, the student population's tiny (150 people) but pretty much everyone's super skilled at their instrument. The only thing that is a bit disappointing is the lack of guitarists there, there's only one other guitarist at the Con but they're bloody incredible at it.

Thanks again for your quick comment and I'll be sure to look out for any of your new and upcoming pieces.
#4
I'm not really a fan of the sextuplets in the first nine bars, as they seem to clutter the sound and the feel of the song, but the overall feel for those bars was great.

I'd say for the soundscape it works as a sort of spiral down into anger or depression for a character.

I'm not sure what you were going for on bars 23-28 but with the lack of rhythm and overuse of sextuplets I'd say you lost direction of what to do. Add some rhythm to those bars and perhaps change the diminished runs and they would be fine.

Overall I liked it but your overuse sextuplets and diminished runs could be changed, along with adding some rhythm for bars 23-28.