#1
PINO

Behold the blindness of the willfully ignorant
They’ll burn the books of humanity’s enlightenment
Hide their eyes from the truth and the size of it
Attacking those who awaken realizing it

(Chorus)
Now please relax, just step back, move along now
Nothing to see, of course you're free, get on your knees now
Raise the flag, recite your pledge, fake your pride now
The PINO’s know its all a show but so do we now


Lost your job to political fallacies
Lost your house to a banker led conspiracy
Lost your children to a lie in the Middle East
Time to lose your illusion of democracy

No more excuses about what you don’t understand
Realize you won’t survive unless you take a stand
Un-hypnotize your own mind from your master’s plan
Acquaint yourself with what real freedom demands

(Chorus)
Now please relax, just step back, move along now
Nothing to see, of course you're free, get on your knees now
Raise the flag, recite your pledge, fake your pride now
The PINO’s know its all a show but so do we now


Spoon fed lies from the mainstream media
Taught as truth by the government academia
Critical thought is treated like hysteria
It’s take what we say, as the truth, or well bury ya

This is where we come in as patriots
This is where we take a stand and put an end to it
Marching as one in defense of our liberties
And bind our government in chains so we may live free


PINO = Patriot In Name Only

Last edited by IamOmega at Jun 5, 2010,
#2
It's pretty cool. I can imagine these lyrics being rapped kinda like RATM stylee?
Head like a stone, stoned like a rock.



#3
I was hoping it would appear that way to the reader. That's how it should sound. Glad you got it.
#4
I'm usually not a big fan of this style of lyrics, but I really enjoyed reading this. It felt original, which is a hard thing to do when writing about something political.

My favorite line by far was the "Un-hypnotize your own mind from your master’s plan". The only part I didn't like was the "It’s take what we say, as the truth, or well bury ya" line. It felt too informal compared to the rest. I don't usually like when the same word is used at the end of a line to make a rhyme, but somehow it worked for this piece. Very good read.
#5
First of all, thanks for the crit. I appreciate it. I really like the message you have here. I think the chorus was just great. Also the verse after the chorus was very powerful. I just felt like the whole piece had veen said and done countless times befoire, but then again what subject hasn't been beaten to death? Anyways, despite that, you presented it very well. Nice job, man.
#8
I enjoyed it, especially when I went back and read it with a RATM feel. I only have a few nitpicky issues with it.

Hide their eyes from the truth and the size of it
Attacking those who awaken realizing it


Maybe it's just me, but that last line kinda feels...I don't know, weird.

Also, I didn't know what a PINO was till the end of the song, so maybe others would be confused too, or maybe you could even work the definition of it into a later stanza, I don't know man, it's pretty good. I would like to hear it if you ever get some music behind it or something.
#9
Very well written. I'm not usually that big a fan of the politically driven lyrics but I think these are well justified and truthful, rather than preachy and overbearing. Good read. Keep 'em coming!
#10
Those are sweet, im sure zack from RAGE would even be proud, i am not that big on rap but some rap i do like and this is one of them. I instantly had a backing track in my head by the second verse and it flowed real well, keep it up!

Cheers,
TheAscendant 8)
Last edited by TheAscendant at Jun 14, 2010,
#11
you better record this shit. its good. the only soft spot is the PINO part, which I didnt get until i read your definition. maybe name the song 'patriot in name only', so people get it right away.

but damn, i can totally imagine this song RATM style. I hope you can play like tom morello man haha
#12
Quote by IamOmega
PINO

Lost your job to political fallacies
Lost your house to a banker led conspiracy
Lost your children to a lie in the Middle East
Time to lose your illusion of democracy



that seemed to be the only point where you highlight any of the issues you are ranting against.
the rest just seemed mainly just hot air and textbook anti-government ramblings.
If you have an issue with politics, you really need to express why you have the issue. Its all well and good saying governments are liars, because thats pretty much common knowledge, but you didnt include anything else that would make the reader want to accept your point over the points of those in a position of power. someone jaded with the status quo might dig it on some level because they are already on your bandwagon, but if thats the case then this is just preaching to a choir. this is just retreading a lot of old ground, that other people have walked many times (in far more cogent and eloquent ways)

you talk about truth, and lies and withholding information. Why should we take what you are saying to be the truth when you havent given any information yourself beyond saying "the government sucks"?
halfassed political messages can be damaging.
Im not saying dont write about politics or the world as you see it, but you should really think about what you are saying and why you are saying it when you are essentially advocating a coup.

I thought the last verse was the most important. It seems to fully encapsulate the message you are trying to get across, but i thought the rest was a bit hard going because it borders on hacky and cliche tinfoil hat anti government rhetoric.
--------------------i'm definitely the alphaest male here--------------------
#13
FunkasPuck,

I think you did a good job with the critique. I value that. I am also very glad that you question why you should accept what I say. You shouldn’t. I believe you should always question everything and seek those answers yourself. A lot of this is common knowledge and I am preaching to the choir to a large extent. In fact, I am urging the choir to rise and others to think and seek.

I would have included a lot more detail in the song. The problem is, it’s a song. I want it to be catchy so it will be listened to.

The song is really “anti-big intrusive government”. I am not advocating a “coup” of any kind. Problem with coups are they create a vacuum that can be filled by anyone. What I am trying to say is, educate yourself on why and how our country was founded and do not allow it to be spoon fed to you. The ability to self educate is vital. When enough people stand up and demand a return to smaller, less intrusive, constitutionally bound government, based on sound money backed by precious metals, there need not be anything other than a peaceful return to liberty. When we remove the power to print money from the central banks and return it to the people, it will be us, not them, which make the laws and only then can we begin to dismantle the graft from politics.

I grew up in the mountains and, though I didn’t know it at the time, had more freedom than most. This is of course because I came in contact with government the least. When I left home twenty years ago and begin traveling, it was quite a shock when I realized all the rules and regulations people lived under and continued to allow to be heaped upon them. It’s saddens me to no end. It is shameful and beyond ignorant to call ourselves free.

The reading of our history from our founding fathers own words can become quite a cliffhanger. There were times when it could have gone in many different directions from the one we know. It is amazing to me how insightful these men were and their struggle to bring it into words upon which a republic could be founded.

I will now bring this to a close. Again, I appreciate your critique and will return the favor.