#1
A new song I wrote up today off an old idea - Just finished the structure.

It's still WIP so any ideas or suggestions are appreciated and the good ones will change the final outcome to the song.

C4C as always, thanks in advance.
Attachments:
Indecision's Waltz with Solo.zip
Last edited by JazzDeath at Jun 1, 2010,
#2
And now the lyrics -

Welcome to the waltz!
Now join me in my thoughts
Let's wrap our psychic hands
Around the core I've lost

The variables mutate
In awkward harmony
And While the root remains the same
Everything around will change

Watch and learn... from my mistakes.

A tidal wave of whys
To take apart the lies
Not from the conscious mind
But from the true desires

This constant mask of the soul
Creates a constant unknown
Once I remove this mask
Then I shall know the past

But for now...
I am left...

Indecisive and vulnerable.

Uncertainty makes a mess of my mind
Motivation remains locked up inside
Hunger for a truth in constant motion
Variables causing endless commotion!

Basking inside our delusions
Stripping the coil's induction
Left empty and safe to the touch

Incertitude is something I despise
Omnipotent is the state that I strive
Unable to accept the way things are
Perfection becomes, my biggest flaw

Ripping apart at the flesh
Tearing the sins from my eyes
Falling on my knees stripped of pride!

And round it goes again!
Another chance at redemption
No longer shall I question

The reason way things are
Shall never be constant
Solace is found within;
Not knowledge gleaned from sin

But knowledge gained from self!

Let us watch this beautiful dance of the soul
Melodies now intertwine within the echoes of time
A final farewell to this perfected lie
A final farewell to this imperfect life

As you watch the beautiful digging a hole
The glory once known falls apart once more
No longer accepting this perfected lie
You only accept this imperfect life.

Imperfect life!

In perfect lies!

Imperfect life....

Perfection lies in imperfect lives.
#3
SICK! Sounds a lot like Obscura which is one of my favorite bands. Are you recording this eventually?
#4
Don't ask that you ****. Although it's not an impossibility to consider.

I like that you happen to moving more and more away from multiple abusive tracks (sorry, out of a sober mind right now).
The less tracks you have, the stronger your ideas have to be if you want a good song. And in the end, that's what it's really about.

I feel that this and Sensory Overload are probably your strongest songs; not because they have only 4 tracks, but because you've realized how to consolidate your songs into a singular point of awesome. It's difficult, but the pay-off is usually so worth it.

I think that the waltz section at the end is the only section that drags on. When coupled with the beginning, it sounds weak. But when thought of as a complete idea, it actually makes sense. Good stuff.
Although your should really have those final 2 sections only repeat once twice.
All of this is going off of memory from a couple days ago when I 1st heard the piece, so I might just be losing my shit.
I'm bleeding everywhere; weird.
#5
Quote by huevos
Don't ask that you ****. Although it's not an impossibility to consider.

I like that you happen to moving more and more away from multiple abusive tracks (sorry, out of a sober mind right now).
The less tracks you have, the stronger your ideas have to be if you want a good song. And in the end, that's what it's really about.

I feel that this and Sensory Overload are probably your strongest songs; not because they have only 4 tracks, but because you've realized how to consolidate your songs into a singular point of awesome. It's difficult, but the pay-off is usually so worth it.

I think that the waltz section at the end is the only section that drags on. When coupled with the beginning, it sounds weak. But when thought of as a complete idea, it actually makes sense. Good stuff.
Although your should really have those final 2 sections only repeat once twice.
All of this is going off of memory from a couple days ago when I 1st heard the piece, so I might just be losing my shit.
I'm bleeding everywhere; weird.

were you talking to me with that first sentence? What the **** man? I can ask what I want to ask, especially if it's "not an impossibility to consider." ya dick.
#6
Wow, that's incredible!
I would love to hear that properly recorded and all, the Chordal Smash was great, and that was a pretty brutal outro, and the whole song was quite catchy all the way through, I never felt bored of it, and that happens to me alot (especially with Guitar Pro songs, due to the sound).
Aha, the transition was great too.(:
It was pretty much an all-round great song, in my opinion
I would love to hear how the vocals would sound.

Great job!
#7
Quote by QAZAR
were you talking to me with that first sentence? What the **** man? I can ask what I want to ask, especially if it's "not an impossibility to consider." ya dick.


No, no, NO!
This is fascism! No questions!

I guess you might not be familiar with the work of JD; his earlier stuff (that he posted here) had 7-plus tracks, making it really difficult to record. It was kind of an inside joke that only made sense in my mind.
#8
Quote by huevos
No, no, NO!
This is fascism! No questions!

I guess you might not be familiar with the work of JD; his earlier stuff (that he posted here) had 7-plus tracks, making it really difficult to record. It was kind of an inside joke that only made sense in my mind.



That and many of the chord voicings would take a spider to play ;(
#9
Good as allways. You should really record some of your stuff too . "Chordal Smash" was my favourite part. I think acoustic ending was quite odd, but ok. It wasn't bad anyway . Drums came up too late in the intro. Good stuff as I said earlier. Bar 27 and some other bars had pretty odd harmony. 8/10.

I'm myself quite bored to guitar pro. I would wan't to record songs, not only compose them. It would have cooler feeling.

I think Withdrawing the substance was better than this one.
#10
This is beautiful, I have viewed your other works and I think this one is the most playable, haha.

Impressive song, there's really not much more I could say, it could use an Obscura-esque solo in it though.

9/10
#11
Thanks for the comments everyone - And I understood the joke huevos .

In kinder terms, yes it's possible that this be recorded - perhaps faster than some of my other pieces actually, I'm learning it on guitar right now, but again, it's a question of money.

Where would you envision a solo in this piece? This is the hardest thing for me to think of when it comes to implementing a solo in this particular song, I don't know where I'd put it that would actually improve the song. On top of an existing riff? Adding a new riff somewhere for a solo? Where?

Thanks for the feedback guys, if anyone wants a c4c, let me know.

The final section is most likely an album closer, with a vocal melody - it sounds repetitive on GP but I'm fairly certain it will sound nice in the end, and probably will have violins also.
#12
Quote by JazzDeath

Where would you envision a solo in this piece? This is the hardest thing for me to think of when it comes to implementing a solo in this particular song, I don't know where I'd put it that would actually improve the song. On top of an existing riff? Adding a new riff somewhere for a solo? Where?



I usually put guitar solos over a riff that has already been created, although there are usually no vocals over it. I just decided to take your piece and put a solo over it, I was able to put one over bars 107-122. If you want to take a look at it just let me know, I will PM it to you or put it here.

David
#13
Definitely! although I don't guarantee you I will keep it I would definitely like to see how you implemented a solo over that section - there is a "vocal line" over that part but it's like 5 words screamed over a few measures, so it might complement itself to a solo.
#16
I love the song itself, but parts of that solo seem absolutely ridiculous on the speed factor. Basically anywhere there were sixteenth-triplets, and especially the scale run at the end. It sounds good and all, but as far as playing it...?

I really can't find anything to criticize. The whole thing flows great, IMO, and the waltz section at the end was awesome. I personally prefer the chaotic feel of Sensory Overload, but this is still a badass song. The bit at bar 58 blew me away. The repeat of that riff did the same.

I approve! :P
#17
Quote by JazzDeath
Alright well thanks for the solo guideline DavidCp - I used it to inspire myself, made a few modifications to it. Any feedback's appreciated on that, solos aren't my forte!


No problem dude, like I said, only use it if you want to; though if modified I do believe it would fit better, it was just something I did really quick to show you a solo section.

Quote by guitar_jew
I love the song itself, but parts of that solo seem absolutely ridiculous on the speed factor. Basically anywhere there were sixteenth-triplets, and especially the scale run at the end. It sounds good and all, but as far as playing it...?


As stated earlier, it was done quick. If the song were something of my own I would work on it much more so it isn't an absolute shred-fest (Although I love my shred.) Though I do play a lot of Obscura/Necrophagist stuff, so sections like that aren't really a problem for me. Bars 111 and 112 are easy once you get "String skipping + tapping" down. Playing Obscura helps!
#20
Quote by JazzDeath
Lol, I did modify it already, and put the new solo up in the original file, on top of the thread.

And thanks, uber man.


Damn nigga I took a listen to it, well done!

That warrants a golf-clap

*golf-clap*
#21
Very good. Wouldn't call it death metal, but whatever. I really like the feel of it, and the use of chords. The waltzy stuff in the end is really nice. Overall, I think the songs sound kinda happy

One complaint I have is that it never really takes off.. It's midtempo, and then that's kinda it.. But I guess it suits it, it's not a huge complaint.

C4C?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1320602
#22
Reminds a lot of Cynic and Death, but in some part sounded very original and evil, I'd buy it.
R.I.P.
Chuck Schuldiner 1967-2001
Ronnie James Padavona 1942-2010
Darrell Lance Abbott 1966-2004
Jon Nödtveidt 1975-2006
Per Yngve Ohlin 1969-1991
Øystein Aarseth 1968-1993
Joe Ptaceck 1973-2010
Ace Börje Thomas Forsberg 1966-2004
#23
Reminded me of Obscura, but I also heard some parts that sounded like Necrophagist's more depressing/depriving stuff. I also heard some Martyr influence.

Liked the softer parts toward the end, good work with that. Whole song was great though.

What kind of vocals would you have on this song? Midrange and low, like Obscura and Martyr?
#24
Rather midrange throughout actually, except for the Final Waltz section which is actually sung.

The midrange is euhm... raspy but very clearly articulated, like a mix between Death but less croaky and Martyr's new album, but a bit more raspy. Hard to explain, haha.