#1
I've been listening to too much Smashing Pumpkins lately, which has been encouraging me to mess around with different song structures. I'm not so sure on all of this, but there's a few parts I like. The vocals follow a rather odd rhythm; instead of trying to convey this through text, I just decided to make it as readable as possible.

C4C.

Pick until I bleed
I don't know why, I do this every
time is the enemy
it's out to get me, get out of me.

Purge you out of me....
I'll purge you out of me....

Just another victory,
feels shallow and empty, or maybe that's just me.

Purge you out of me....
I'll purge you out of me....
Get the urges out of me....
I'll purge you out of me....

I'm left with all the debt,
of abuse and neglect;
and now as I reflect,
I pay it in regret.

Set me free,
of these urges and this lust.
Shower me,
in anger and distrust.

Banish me,
we both know I'm set to die alone;
hopefully,
you won't hear me cry and moan.

Purge you out of me,
through exposais (sp?) and screams.
Set these urges free,
so you won't haunt my dreams.

Purge me out of me....
Purge me out of me....
These urges are all me....
#2
It sounds like it could be a good song but it sounds emo-ish as hell. It sounds like you're talking about slitting your wrists but that's just my first impression.
#3
This is REALLY GREAT! Repetition really adds effect.

The best music is music with feeling and emotion, so who cares if it's "emo"? It's still music.

I can really relate to this, I LOVE it. Now I just have to hear it with music!

Keep up the great work.
xx
Last edited by ParaFanMore at May 27, 2010,
#4
i like the idea.
and choice of words.
not diggen the repetition.
but meh.
it's still a cut above decent.
i am the lamb.
point me to the slaughter.