#1
I recently had a Drum Major audition and I prayed to god that I would get the part, but I felt hypocritical because I masturbate. I've decided to not masturbate because I don't want to be a hypocrit and I want to honor god. It's been three days and I'm dying over here.


Need some help guys, words of wisdom or something.


Edited her. This has nothing to do with a girl.
I havn't changed this thing in a year.


I LOVE GIANT YELLOW TEXT!
Last edited by wowsux at May 27, 2010,
#2
lolwut
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#5
Doing the right thing for my God involves killing and offering him the blood of my victims.


It's a good thing I don't believe in him.

*looks behind back*
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#6
Oh you big sissy. I've gone a whole month without masturbating and looking at porn and you don't see me having any trouble.
Sail upon the open skies
#9
Become an atheist and rely on your own skill to get you the part.
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#14
if god didnt want u to whack off he wouldnt have givin u the option too man. Whack it all night HAHAHAHA.
#16
Quote by RU Experienced?
Sorry what was that?

I couldn't hear you over the sound of myself masturbating.



Consider yourself sigged, sir.
#17
Quote by wowsux
I recently had a Drum Major audition and I prayed to god that I would get the part, but I felt hypocritical because I masturbate. I've decided to not masturbate because I don't want to be a hypocrit and I want to honor god. It's been three days and I'm dying over her.

Need some help guys, words of wisdom or something.

You totally threw me off there. It's like there's a sentence missing or something.
#18
Uh... What?

This guy has to be trolling.
Proud owner of an Engl Thunder 50 Reverb and an Ibanez S470

"The end is extremely fucking nigh..."
#19

DON'T MAKE ME DESTROY YOU!


___________________________________________________


TURN OFF YOUR MIND RELAX AND FLOAT DOWNSTREAM

Quote by Scumbag1792
My God, this must be the smartest/greatest guy ever.
#20
Y'll are jerks. Here this guy's trying to better himself, and what do you do? Make fun of him! Gtfo, all of you!

Seriously, this guy wants to do something to improve himself and asks for encouragement, y'll mock him.

TS, screw all these mockers! You stay strong, man. You believe in your convictions.
#21
Quote by CaptDin
You totally threw me off there. It's like there's a sentence missing or something.

Unless he calls his penis by a female name. I call mine Ron. Ron Weasel-y.
#22
Quote by CaptDin
You totally threw me off there. It's like there's a sentence missing or something.

He dropped the final 'e' from 'here'.
Inhuman evil take down!
#23
If god didn't want you to wank, he wouldn't give bollock cancer to people who don't do it.

And as it's religion we're talking about, I don't think if should matter if it turns out not wanking doesn't give you testicular cancer.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
#24
Just praise Jaysus.
Tonight I kill your fucking face.
I killed your face.


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#25
Dude, even Jesus whacked off a couple times, so don't even trip.

"And I say unto you, blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy. Alright guys, that's a wrap, I'm gonna go crank one out, brb." --- John 2:24
#27
Quote by Smokey Amp
Uh... What?

This guy has to be trolling.


Seriously. No man in their right mind would ask the pit for any type of religious advice, especially on the topic of masturbating.

Last edited by SlayingDragons at May 27, 2010,
#28
It's not a factor of if he's real or not. It's that the worst kind of christian is one who doesn't practice what he preaches. We all hate liars no matter who you are.


If you don't respect me for trying to better myself, respect me for trying to keep the standards I set for myself. I just wanted help.
I havn't changed this thing in a year.


I LOVE GIANT YELLOW TEXT!
#29
Quote by wowsux
The world should not have children for one year, one whole year make it illegal, no kids. If you get pregnant during that year forced abortion. Based on the number of people who die a day and the number who are born, the worlds population would go down signifigantly and many problems will be solved. This way, no one is killed by the government, the only people being killed are being killed by parents who decided to break the law.


That was posted in a thread on May 22.

You think God looks down on masturbation, but not on abortion? I'm so tempted to post the pear.
#30
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
Y'll are jerks. Here this guy's trying to better himself, and what do you do? Make fun of him! Gtfo, all of you!

Seriously, this guy wants to do something to improve himself and asks for encouragement, y'll mock him.

TS, screw all these mockers! You stay strong, man. You believe in your convictions.


#31
That was a discussion we had in class so I thought I'd bring it here to discuss. I left it out because I try to hide the fact I'm still in school.

Do you do a background check on every TS before you post or are you stalking me?
I havn't changed this thing in a year.


I LOVE GIANT YELLOW TEXT!
#32
brings another meaning to "One armed buhd ump pssh"
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#33
Okay, you want advice?

It's the only way.
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
YOU WILL LOVE EACH OTHER
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#34
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
Y'll are jerks. Here this guy's trying to better himself, and what do you do? Make fun of him! Gtfo, all of you!

Seriously, this guy wants to do something to improve himself and asks for encouragement, y'll mock him.

TS, screw all these mockers! You stay strong, man. You believe in your convictions.
That woman who turned herself into a cat through plastic surgery was trying to better herself, that doesn't make it wrong to say "what the shit are you doing you silly bitch, you're not a cat".
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
#35
Quote by wowsux
That was a discussion we had in class so I thought I'd bring it here to discuss. I left it out because I try to hide the fact I'm still in school.

Do you do a background check on every TS before you post or are you stalking me?


That depends. What does your version of God think of homosexuality?
#36
Quote by wowsux
We all hate liars no matter who you are.

I for one love liars.

I will not stand for this bullshittery.

#37
Quote by whalepudding
That woman who turned herself into a cat through plastic surgery was trying to better herself, that doesn't make it wrong to say "what the shit are you doing you silly bitch, you're not a cat".


Proud owner of an Engl Thunder 50 Reverb and an Ibanez S470

"The end is extremely fucking nigh..."
#38
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
Y'll are jerks. Here this guy's trying to better himself, and what do you do? Make fun of him! Gtfo, all of you!

Seriously, this guy wants to do something to improve himself and asks for encouragement, y'll mock him.

TS, screw all these mockers! You stay strong, man. You believe in your convictions.

You're like the new joshua_720 or whatever his name was.